Well. I outed my sex life to my in-laws. [Concluded]
This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/BoyDinnerDiaries by user NewLifeNewAcct. I'm not the original poster.
Status: Concluded
># Original September 13, 2026
Dinner was a ton of In-N-Out and some real "well... shit. Lol," energy.
So. My wife and I do some kinky shit . I'm not going to go too in-depth, all y'all really need to know is that there's some physicality and some name calling involved.
It's typically game on at home. We're both athletes. She has a very corporate, high-pressure job, and sex is basically a constant. We're pretty obsessed with each other still (3 years now) - wherever we have alone time, we get laid. Just sort of how it is.
I came home from my basketball game tonight and was surprised to see my wife's car in the garage. On Saturday nights, she's usually not home until a little later (typically, she's at her mom's place as she does quite a lot with her family), so I was excited to see her. It's kind of important to note: there were no other vehicles at the house. My kid was out with her boyfriend and all that.
Anyways, I go inside. Directly on my right when I enter is the kitchen - which I don't look into, because my wife is more or less standing at the door when I opened it.
So, like in any other totally normal and loving and completely consensual relationship, I greet her by putting my hand on her throat and saying "get over here, slut" before pushing her up against the now-open door against the wall. With, like, some force, because that's what we do.
And I am, of course, met with an "Oh my god" from the kitchen. My wife had stopped by home with her mother and sister to pick up some pickleball equipment on the way to the gym - theoretically, they're playing right now, and my wife is being roasted. This all happened about an hour ago.
So, after an awkward explanation and some clarification that I am, in fact, not treating my wife like shit when her family isn't looking - they left, and I drove to In-N-Out.
I crushed all of these burgers. The orders are:
Double Double, animal style, extra grilled onions, extra pickles
Double Double, mustard fried, no tomato, extra pickles
Cheeseburger, raw onion, no tomato, extra pickles
I like pickles. And burgers. This is a big meal but not insane for a game day for me.
In front of my wife's family, I have never been anything but a loving, caring, and thoughtful partner - also sarcastic, and my wife and I are competitive in a lot of ways - but overwhelmingly they like me and I'm actually pretty close with her folks. I know they won't really think less of either of us for this - but holy fucking shit is is going to be awkward for awhile.
I mean, what do you even do but laugh?
You eat burgers. That's what.
># Comments by OOP:
I immediately realized the value of, like, a 2 minute rule or something.
To be fair to her, we don't really communicate constantly through the day.
We immediately clarified that this was just, like, our thing, and that it's something she is totally cool with.
Her family is, understandably, weirded out a little - or we're when the conversation happened. It'll all be alright though.
My wife and I don't really do the BDSM thing, we're just... competitive.
It is fucking hysterical, and also completely fucking mortifying lol.
I already know I'm going to have to field jokes about it from her sister at the very least.
I think my words immediately after were, "Oh. Fuck."
To be fair, it was in private, at my own home.
I just, you know, was unaware of exactly how private.
She definitely did not have much time to react. That was sort of the point.
It worked perfectly, just in an unexpected way lmfao.
I'm not a mind reader, but I think even the most open-minded person might pause to process for a bit if they saw their daughter/sister get handled that way.
We're preeeeetty cool in my opinion. At least, she is. I do my best.
It's not the best burger ever, but it's very consistent and tastes fresh which is exactly what I want out of my low effort meal.
Basically, they squirt mustard directly on the grill and fry the patty like that. They do this when you order animal style, too, if I'm not mistaken, I just didn't want another animal style burger.
># Update September 14, 2026, 1 day later
Alright. So.
Last night, my wife got home from the gym/hanging with family, and we chatted for a few minutes before we decided to put the obvious necessary talk off for the night - nothing was going to change it, and we had some unfinished business.
She had a reservation to go skydiving with some friends this morning, so she did that, and then we spoke this afternoon.
According to her, she got absolutely mercilessly roasted the entire time she was with her folks. My wife has a history of being stubborn and a bit of a control freak, so it's a total personality mismatch to them. They found this hilarious, apparently. Can't blame them.
They are definitely not going to let either of us live this down. Ever. My sister-in-law has renamed me to "Mr. Grey" in her phone. She showed it to me when she was over earlier. Wonderful.
The talk wasn't long, and it sums up to, "This was really awkward and embarrassing for me, but the world isn't ending, and we definitely aren't stopping."
This was really just a freak (lol) accident. Her sister is usually the one who drives when everyone is hanging out, but she needed a headlight changed - which is now handled even though it took a fucking hour and a half because it's an HiD light and therefore a complete pain in the ass - so generally my wife's car is sitting at her folks' place. Just not last night, lmao.
In the end, there was no harm, no foul. I'm told my mother-in-law thought the whole thing was pretty off-putting, but moved on rather quickly because she "can't take the thought of (me) being abusive seriously, or (my wife) letting someone cross the line like that more than once."
So, W mother-in-law.
Dinner is sous-vide chicken beast, seasoned then seared and topped with a mango jalapeño salsa, with roasted zucchini and potatoes (that were boiled, smashed, then roasted with butter/salt/pepper/garlic powder).
I'd have used habaneros, but I didn't feel like going to the store, and I had some really nice jalapeños just chilling in the kitchen.
I also made a batch of green onion kimchi, and a batch of dill pickles.
Yes. I can cook, too. It's my other love language.
># Comments by OOP:
No complaints, really, I'm pretty lucky. I'm not in contact with anyone from my immediate family and my wife's folks were extremely welcoming.
My wife is in here reading comments and is extremely pleased that so many people have commented (including in the last post) that her sister is jealous.
Seriously, this woman will take anything as a W.
Well you could do what my wife did and message some random on reddit!
I was in her city for a weekend, she hit me up when I made a post asking if anyone wanted to show me around the town in my dime because I was moving out here for work. Could've been anyone, happened to be her.
It's not actually that crazy. Just a matter of timing, like anything else.
When we met, her friends had been encouraging her to take more chances when meeting people. She'd been sort of stunted socially because she was always working, hadn't met new folks, been on many dates, etc.
So, she DMed me, said she liked my vibes and that she was an athlete also - we met up a few days later in the morning, spent the day not expecting anything but a potential friend in a new city.
And then after dinner, she asked what my plans were - I had a hotel room booked and I was literally going to go do a pros/cons list. She joined me.
I don't think I ever did finish that list.
I am very, very much not her typical type. She's very corporate and has always dated that type, I'm absolutely a stoner/gamer.
Talking to your partner is, like, so easy. More people should do that.
That's actually zucchini in the photo. Though, there are some black peppercorns in the batch of pickles I made.
I'll pay the pickle tax at a later time
Seriously I haven't bought mayo in a store in years. It's too easy to make and customize
I'm not the original poster.