u/Pretty_Outcome_307

I'm on Chapter 19, Garnets. I find I'm struggling getting into this book and find it a bit bamboozling. I've dived into all the previous books and immersed myself. But I always have a break in between reading each Stormlight book, just to come back out into the real world for a bit before diving back into the Cosmere. Maybe I left it too long this time because I'm struggling to remember all the different characters from the previous books, to grasp all the different types of singers, to get my head around Heralds and different types of radiants, and side characters like Wit, the history and lore of the war from the singer and human perspectives, and the science of fabrials and different types of spren. It's so vast and complex in scope, with so many characters and story threads, that for the first time I'm finding reading a Brandon Sanderson novel to be as challenging as it is a joy.

Has anyone else had this experience with this particular book? And if so, does it just get better the further into it you get, or not?

Where do you go for reference and explanatory info without exposing yourself to spoilers that tell you in advance what the plot will be? I've been hesitant to google stuff online for that reason.

Thanks in advance for any advice or suggestions from fellow readers!

Not the best dancing we see on this sub, but definitely embodies the joy and humanity of dance!

TLDR: I know this is a sobering topic but isn't it one we should all at least be thinking about at our age? Where are you at with this? Are you all sorted with POA awarded (albeit not activated or used yet), still thinking about it, haven't thought about it yet, or not keen to do this? And who do you trust with POA if, like me and my husband, you have no children? I have no idea what we will do about this when one of us passes away and the other is alone, elderly, and needs help managing life and finances.

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I was reading a post on the legaladviceuk sub from a woman whose husband has dementia and repeated falls and has had to go into a home, but she doesn't have POA for him so can't access his savings accounts and is being chased for care home bills that she can't pay. It was a bit of a wake-up call and really made me think - I got married last year and we quickly got our wills written but we haven't given each other POA. Partly that was down to legal costs after the wedding expenses, and partly we didn't see it as an equal priority even though I was 61 and he was 53 when we married. And subconsciously I think neither of us wanted to contemplate, as newlyweds, a scenario where one of us might be in a condition in which POA would be needed by the other.

And I really should know better! Back in 2016 my parents gave me and my brother both types of POA for both of them. In the UK that's for Health & Well-being decisions and Property & Finance decisions, with instructions about their priorities, and we're so glad that they did! Although at that family meeting (the only one our parents have ever called) my brother and I both cried when our parents told us they were setting up DNR orders.

We started having to use the POA in 2020 and we've found that having POA gives us more leverage with the NHS and with care providers than even being family members does. And I've been managing their finances for years, paying bills, liaising with utilities companies, buying their annual home insurance at the best price I can find, moving their savings to get maximum interest rates for them etc. I really can't imagine how we would have been able to support two nonagenarian parents in the way that we have done without POA.

In contrast my best friend's mother refused in her 60s to set up POA because she said they'd use it to put her in a home against her wishes. And then when she developed dementia and broke bones in falls and they were told by social services that she absolutely had to go into a care home, the siblings had to pay for it themselves while one of them applied for guardianship so that they could access her bank accounts. That took months and it was a real financial struggle.