r/AskWomenOver60

How many of you ladies get birthday presents from your kids? What does your family usually do on your birthday?
I'm a big present giver to my grandkids. Gifts to my own kids are hit or miss, only because they live far away.
But, sometimes, I feel that my kids could put some effort into acknowledging my birthday. Something more than a text or phone call. Maybe a card? Or maybe have their kids send me a card?
Is this the way it is when we get older, that our birthdays are "allowed" to be ignored?
I know, I'm going to be told to grow up, but there have been years when no one said anything!!

Is there a point where it is acceptable to just rebel and stop shaving? I absolutely hate shaving, have health issues that already makes bathing somewhat dangerous, and I actually feel a little phobic about bleeding out from a razor nick. If you stopped shaving, at what age did you do so and what were your reasons? Any unforeseen consequences or benefits from it?

Hey fellow sandwich generation! I'm looking for some guidance from those who have walked this path.

My 91 year old father lives independently in a senior community where everything is covered by the monthly rent. He does not drive or leave campus, without me taking him.

When I needed his insurance card to make a medical appointment, I saw that he was carrying more than $300 in his wallet and a separate money clip. He lost access to his bank years ago, bc he thought he could outsmart the scammers who constantly called him. After two close calls, a third one nearly wiped him out. We took over the finances and got him a prepaid debit card for grocery runs on the community bus.

Now he is struggling with memory issues.

Question 1: Does he even need to carry a wallet when he hasn't been off campus without me for a year? He's concerned that EMTs will take him to the hospital after a fall without any ID and they won't know who he is (The front desk personnel call emergency services and have made sure his ID went with him in the past).

Question 2: Where can I get a comfortable medical ID wearable that would have his name, allergies, my contact #, and tell ppl that he has memory issues?

I get that after 70 years of carrying a wallet it's part of his identity, but how can I let him know he doesn't need to carry cash? Women here don't carry purses, but he doesn't see that as relevant.

,

I could be overthinking this, over worrying.

My youngest daughter hasn't responded to any of my calls or texts.

I got accustomed to this when she was in the military. She is a civilian now.

She called me last on the 2nd of August telling me to watch for a replacement visa card.

She lives north of me so she could be closer to school.

Her voice mail is full.

I don't know if she's back in classes now or what.

I want to have authorities do a well check at her workplace. I'm going a bit bonkers

I welcome any insight. Thx in advance.

UPDATE::::: ! She answered. Thanks everyone.

Dear friend and I had a huge falling out over her refusal to get a mammogram. I have known so many people with breast cancer and early detection was absolutely essential to the ones who survived. During that argument, she said I should respect her personal decisions. I do things she doesn't think are right but it's my choice. But after dropping that bomb, she refused to say what she disagreed with that I have done, despite my pressing for the information. I was already upset about the mammogram thing, but the judgment of something I've done and then refusal to say what it is put me over the edge. It felt extremely passive aggressive. Am I overreacting? What would you do in this situation?

ETA: This post is NOT about whether she should get a mammogram. I have my opinion. She has hers. It was just offered for context. The question is about her saying she said during that discussion. Namely, that she disagrees with something I have done recently but refused to say what it was.

Hi there 66 year-young lady here. Just wondering if anybody else has encountered this problem my head itches and when I itch it I get like little red scabs, or teenie tiny pimple like pustules (not like my whole head just randomly), I wash my hair daily. Just wondering if that has anything to do with it anybody else encounter this?

Curious as to what you use on your face. I don’t want to spend a fortune-actually I don’t want to spend anything 🤪 but need to address some dry and bumpy skin. TIA

I'm just over 60 and on low dose HRT for over 5 years, why are hot flashes back - I thought I was done with the sweating dripping face followed by the cold clammy feel? Yes, I have call into doctor, no other symptoms, no medicine or lifestyle changes and just reaching out to other women over 60 in meantime for life experience.

Did you have a grand celebration? Took a trip? I remember attending a party for my grandparents and a cousin is having one coming up. My parents treated the whole family (kids, spouses, grandchildren) to a cruise.

Writing for my sister.

Her 30 year old son is a professional in a well paying job. He suffers from depression and has anger issues. He doesn’t have a partner, or any social life. His anger causes him to act impulsively and it’s beginning to catch up to him. He voluntarily went to a psych hospital and is now on medication and is in counseling. He has very supportive parents who worry endlessly about him. They will never cut him off.

My poor sister. She is just so sad.

Anyone is a similar situation? What did you do?

I’ve always been heavier but not exorbitantly. At 65, I’m noticing a decrease in my appetite. One egg with 1 slice of whole wheat toast is plenty. My belly is full then but I’ll need something in 4 hours because I will know my blood sugar has dropped. I have been tested and no not have diabetes.

Is this why women I know in their mid to late 70s are always seeking protein?

Hello over 60 sisters!

Like the title says, I'm soon going to be moving in with my boyfriend that I've been seeing for 4 years. We live an hour and a half apart so our relationship has been primarily a weekend one, plus four week long vacations together.

I've been living alone for the past 7 years and I honestly love it but I love my guy even more. It's time for us to be together full time since we want to eventually buy a house together and spend the rest of our lives together- me at 65 and him at 69- it's not like we're spring chickens contemplating a 50-year marriage. Lol.

I have some anxiety about moving in with him just because... I don't know. I overthink things now that I'm older. When I was younger, I would just be excited versus anxious. I currently live in a very tiny one bedroom apartment and he lives in a two bedroom plus office townhouse that is fairly small, about 1200 square feet.

Have any of you made this kind of leap at a later age? I am absolutely certain this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. In the near future we want to buy a house out west together. But in the meantime I will be moving in with him.

What were your experiences and do you have any suggestions for me? We've talked about the small space and how my stuff isn't really going to fit except in the one spare bedroom he's cleaning out. I'm okay with that for now since we plan on buying a (larger) house together by next spring. One thing I told him is that both of us are going to need some alone time now and again. I plan on setting up my bed in the spare bedroom so I can retreat when I need quiet time. He gets that. He's never been married but has had girlfriends live with him in the past. The last one was nearly 10 years ago.

ETA: thank you all for so many thoughtful responses! I appreciate all of them, even the ones who said "Don't do it!" My original post was more about suggestions and experiences of others who have moved in with their significant other. Thank you to those who have shared their experiences!

I don't take this move lightly and have gone over things in my head and with him a million times. I loved living alone since that was a luxury after raising my kids. But when I was ready, I was intentional in looking for a new partner. I want love, companionship, intimacy - all of that. I feel lucky to have found all of that with him.

I'm hopeful we will work out. I expect us to, but I'm nothing if not pragmatic. We might not. I'm not stranded if we break up. I have enough savings to get me set up in a tiny place in the region I want to move to.

I'm taking a leap of faith. I want a life with this man. Again thanks to everyone who took the time to respond.

Ok so now what I’m fat and I can’t retire lmfao

I feel like my gray has gotten a lot more stubborn over the last few years. The hair around my temples and along my part seems to fight every color I use. It looks covered right after I color it, then those same spots start showing through way sooner than the rest of my hair. It’s especially annoying because the rest of the color still looks pretty good.

I’ve tried leaving the color on a little longer and making sure I really saturate the gray, but I’m still not getting the coverage I want. I’d rather keep doing my color at home if I can, but I’m getting tired of redoing the front so often.

For those of you who color your own hair, what has actually worked on stubborn gray? Did switching to a different type of color or shade make a noticeable difference?

Ok ladies, I just turned 60, retired, kids are off to college and I need to find some new hobbies. I love to garden but with summer ending soon I need some other ideas to fill my time and create some fun. Give me some ideas.

Edit: Wow the response has been amazing and I truly love and appreciate all your creative suggestions. I'm still reading through your comments, they are very inspirational. Thank you ❤️

I’m 67f, retired, and looking for part time work in North Carolina. I have a lot of experience as a caregiver to family, and spent about 15 years in the healthcare/long term care industries but not in direct patient care. I’d rather be an independent caregiver vs working for an agency.

I can take a CNA I course at my local community college for ~$300 and I’m wondering about a couple of things:

Has anyone taken this course after age 65, and was it a good experience?

Is it a realistic plan to be an independent caregiver without a CNA? Would the answer change if a relative (not someone I reside with) becomes eligible for Medicaid caregiver assistance in the future?

(I’ll be cross posting to r/caregivers as well.)

I’m a 31 year old man, my mother has been retired for over 15 years, and has mobility issues (she can’t move without a walker). She has diabetes, high cholesterol, hypertension, arthritis… I check on her regularly many times everyday, dedicate time to spend with her, watch soap operas and carry news of family, let her tell tales of the past to her heart’s content. Dine with her and assist her with tasks as needed.

The question: how can I regularly take care of my mother and cheer her up without being overbearing?

I live with a difficult person, and I do not choose to leave, because a lot of things in my
life that I enjoy would disappear, also. I would lose my home, my friends, my support system.

I figure that I have 15-20 years left. I want them to
be reasonably happy, and I do several things for myself to keep healthy, strong, & learning new things. I volunteer in the community & enjoy gardening.
How do I put up enough of a wall to protect my well-being from the denigrating comments from another person? How to insulate myself?

I retired early and have been retired less than 2 years. I just want to be left alone and read or do something that I enjoy. My husband is also retired and he always wants me to help him around the house. I hate helping him because nothing ever goes to plan and I seem to be reason for it. FYI: I am not the issue.

My daughter is always calling me and asking me to help with the kids. I love my grandbabies but I tire easily and just don’t just enjoy them without the responsibility of keeping them under control.

My mother guilts me on why I don’t visit more often. I am across the country now from and I hear how I broke her heart moving. So much guilt so little time :(

I always feel like I am “on”.

I am venting. Thanks for listening

I’ll try not to make this too long but it’s kind of a lot.

His wife died a few months ago. The three of us have been friends on and off since they moved in. She and I were close sometimes. She was difficult in some ways. She also had on again off again relationships with her family. She mostly didn’t speak to me the last couple years. She got jealous of a friend of mine who was at my place for a bonfire one evening and he came over and had a beer with us and I guess stayed too long. He told me this. Her and I never talked about it. I asked her about it one time when she was out in the yard, why she wasn’t talking to me, and she just gave me a dirty look and told me she’s been busy.

During times when we were close she would complain about their marriage. I only ever heard her side. She complained about their sex life. She was disrespectful to him frequently in front of me and he never did that to her. He never told me anything negative about her. A few times in the summertime when all the windows were open I would hear her yelling at him. I never heard him yell back.

He did low key flirt with me sometimes if it was just me and him. I never took him seriously. He likes to joke. He’s from the Caribbean and is different from anyone else I know. He’s a very hard worker. He works 6 days a week most weeks. He’s always working around his house and his yard and gardens look great. He was a professional football player (soccer) in his home country. He’s been a soccer coach for kids in our town for a long time. He’s on a soccer team. He’s also a drummer in a reggae band. He’s interesting and philosophical. I like a lot of things about him.

I’ve been on my own since I’ve known them. He has always helped me with things in my yard/gardens when I’ve asked him. He knows how to fix and do a lot of things. I paid him to do some things and I paid him to cut my grass for years. As neighbors we have had each others backs.

We have hung out a few times. Mostly sitting on my deck having a couple drinks and playing cards or whatever. He told me he wants to be my boyfriend. Yea he said that. He told me all the things he likes about me etc. etc. and how he has respected me throughout the years for this and that. He said very nice things. Even though he has flirted with me as I said, I was not expecting that. He also made it very clear that he is interested in me sexually.

Therein lies the problem for me. I am not at all interested in him that way. Not even a little. I actually wish I was. I have thought about it since he sprung this on me and I’m just not and I really don’t think I ever could be. It would be kind of ideal to be in a full on relationship with someone who lives right next-door and who I would never need to live with.

When he sprung this on me I told him I am not interested in that kind of relationship. I didn’t say specifically with him but that is the truth. I would like that kind of relationship, but not with him. I would love for us to be good friends and hang out and help each other out. He said he was OK with that but he also thinks that if he just keeps trying I will change my mind. I told him I am not going to change my mind, but he continues to flirt with me when we are hanging out in a joking around kind of way and I just laugh.

He has been very kind and helping me with things and doing very nice things like calling to check on me when we’ve had scary storms lately. I really do like him and those things are nice, but now I feel like maybe it’s not fair of me to let him continue to do these kinds of nice things for me when I have no intention of letting it turn into the kind of relationship he wants.

I’m not sure what to do in this situation.