u/Previous-Log5976

Ok I'm coming here because I keep getting conflicting advice from my friends. I'm F19 and I have a crush on this guy who is M20, dont know why you need to know that I just always see people putting the ages... anyways.

How we met/What he's like:

Where I live you have to go to this college type thing before university instead of a grade 12, thats where we met. It was by chance, our friend groups kind of meshed together, so I only met him through the group. He wasn't my type but I've never had a boyfriend so I'm kind of nervous around all boys. I started developing a crush on him because of his personality. He's outgoing and includes everyone in the conversation. He does eye contact well which is a bit terrifying for me since I'm an introvert but I still see it as a plus. He's also funny... well... I mean I don't really find his jokes funny it's kind of your average gay/political jokes but anyways he finds the humor in lots of stuff. He's also very brave and defensive for his friends and actually listens in conversations. Hes also a gentleman! He holds doors open, does favors, and is very polite! And a big thing I like about him is he's ambitious, he wants to do big things in his life, hes very smart and has good grades and loves debate (he was in the debate club, became the president at some point). This kind of turned into a rant but wtv thats why I like him. You literally NEVER find men my age like this, they're always the edgar cut- saggy skinny jeans - tracksuit - dont care about school types. Thats just my experience with people my age so I feel so lucky to have found him. I KNOW HE SOUNDS AMAZING AND IM JUST A RANDOM QUIET INTROVERT BUT I HAVE SIGNS THAT HE LIKED ME.

Signs that he liked me:

Ok so when we met, he always ALWAYS looked me in the eyes when I was talking. He included me in conversations when I wasn't talking and he asked me lots of questions. When I mentioned I loved horror and stephen king he said he loved stephen king too and said he would read more. He also stood close to me and would sometimes touch me, like my hand or my shoulder. On my birthday he gave SO MANY SIGNS. Ok so basically we were gonna go to a restaurant and it was just me and my bff and him and his friend. He paid for my subway ticket (only mine), for my meal, AND for drinks that we went to get later. He also got me a 25$ bookstore giftcard on top of everything. He never gave my bff who met him at the same time anything for her birthday. While we were out he sat really close to me and touched our knees together, since the place was loud he would lean in REALLYYY close when I was speaking or when he was. Then when we were returning we were at the station and there was this creepy guy asking for a ride. LET ME TELL YOU HE HELD MY LOWER BACK AND LED ME AWAY. UGH.

Another thing he did was when we were having a friend dinner at a restaurant and we werent sitting near each other, but my friend who loves psychology was telling us what each of our mental diagnosis would be. She told me social anxiety (obviously) and she gave my friend something like advanced intelligence. He heard that and said "Sam I think you're intellectually gifted too" KEEP IN MIND THERE WERE OTHER GIRLS AND PPL THERE.

If you were wondering what I was doing during all this I was just being very shy and obviously nervous and awkward. Thats just how I am I will never be able to flirt. Thats why I think maybe I threw him off...

After we graduated:

I realize that some of these signs can be seen as platonic or just being nice, but I feel like all of them together is kind of a sign no? Especially since he was only doing it to me. Anyways we graduated and went to university but the only times we hung out was when our friend group was hanging out so we really didnt have a chance to see each other, so we kind of fizzled out yk? Then it was his birthday and I told him I have a gift for him I want to give because he gave me so much stuff.

(I got him a giftcard and a homemade minecraft chicken magnet cause he loves minecraft. I think maybe its a bit too personal so i might remove that, lemme know).

So he sent his schedule and I sent mine to find a day to meet. Then I found one of his breaks and I offered a day to do it and his response really derailed everything for me. His response was something to the tune of this: "Oh I'm not gonna be on campus that day I have an appointment lol. But you can check my schedule and see what you need."

That threw me the hell off cause I read into things and it seems a bit rude. I also showed my friend and she agreed. So I said "it's ok I'll just give it to you at some point! 😄" and then we NEVER talked after that. I feel like I might have overthought it and ruined everything like I always do with my horrible awkwardicity. Anyways I still have a crush on him but its been SO LONG LIKE MONTHS since we've seen each other so maybe he's gotten over me I wouldnt blame him I didnt really flirt or whatever. Also I always hear that if a guy wants you HE WILL GO FOR YOU. And it doesn't seem like hes going for me. I know we're in university but still... Idk if I should give up.

P.S: recently a horrible thing happened, I was showing one of my friends the texts on insta and I accidentally swiped up and turned on disappearing messsages (which notifies the other person), WE HAVENT TALKED FOR MONTHS. And I was too horrified to even turn it off. So now idk he probably thinks I turned it off cause I hate him or something. Anyways please give me any and all advice even if its just to move on...

P.S.S: Sorry for the bad writing it's probably all over the place, its late and i'm just doing this randomly. Bro if he sees this I'm done..

How do I gain weight if I'm never hungry?

Did I miss my chance by being an awkward insecure weirdo? Did he even like me