u/Previous_Ad7905

Is it normal? I’m 24 years old and I know you’re thinking I haven’t lived life yet but. I haven’t had any human connection since a kid. Different schools, different houses, different locations, different countries, different people, in the workplace, in society. I learnt that it doesn’t matter if I’m trying to hold a conversation or being uplifting, or genuinely wearing my heart on my sleeve, it feels like I’m doomed for being my own company. For a long time, I’ve accepted it and then broke down into disassociation where I just lose interest or identity or depression where I feel as if I’m not real because I’m lacking a simple human being to talk back to me. Overtime, I start to lose a reflection. It’s not that I crave external validation. I’m okay with my own company. But I crave to be seen through another lens that isn’t just mine.

I feel guilty for the feeling of wanting a friend. Because we should love our own company right? But isn’t it such a blessing to have someone to share thoughts with, see a different point of view, be seen, be in for a different experience other than your own?

Human beings need each other. I know because I’m a human being without any other.

I know everyone feels alone at some point in their lives but is it normal that I’m getting older, and this same empty lonely feeling is not changing? I fear I miss out on the potential of being young and free with other young souls.

I have no common interests with many. I just like philosophical deep thoughts, making dark music and honestly there’s nothing else interesting or fun about me.

I don’t watch movies, or go out to social events (because I regret it every time), or do whatever it is that you people do.

It feels like I’m not living to the fullest or right.

And every time I try to put myself out there, it backfires on me whether it’s people not understanding me, not reciprocating the depth I give, not intellectually stimulating, not having any interest whatsoever.

I’m alone always but it’s not like I want to be. I’m not marvelled by the fact I hold the title of an introvert as many found solace in that reality.

I’m alone and miserable because I’m forced to be alone when life either gives me breadcrumbs or nothing at all when it comes to human connection. 8 billion people and I still feel so out of touch.

Is it normal? I’m 24 years old and I know you’re thinking I haven’t lived life yet but. I haven’t had any human connection since a kid. Different schools, different houses, different locations, different countries, different people, in the workplace, in society. I learnt that it doesn’t matter if I’m trying to hold a conversation or being uplifting, or genuinely wearing my heart on my sleeve, it feels like I’m doomed for being my own company. For a long time, I’ve accepted it and then broke down into disassociation where I just lose interest or identity or depression where I feel as if I’m not real because I’m lacking a simple human being to talk back to me. Overtime, I start to lose a reflection. It’s not that I crave external validation. I’m okay with my own company. But I crave to be seen through another lens that isn’t just mine.

I feel guilty for the feeling of wanting a friend. Because we should love our own company right? But isn’t it such a blessing to have someone to share thoughts with, see a different point of view, be seen, be in for a different experience other than your own?

Human beings need each other. I know because I’m a human being without any other.

I know everyone feels alone at some point in their lives but is it normal that I’m getting older, and this same empty lonely feeling is not changing? I fear I miss out on the potential of being young and free with other young souls.

I have no common interests with many. I just like philosophical deep thoughts, making dark music and honestly there’s nothing else interesting or fun about me.

I don’t watch movies, or go out to social events (because I regret it every time), or do whatever it is that you people do.

It feels like I’m not living to the fullest or right.

And every time I try to put myself out there, it backfires on me whether it’s people not understanding me, not reciprocating the depth I give, not intellectually stimulating, not having any interest whatsoever.

I’m alone always but it’s not like I want to be. I’m not marvelled by the fact I hold the title of an introvert as many found solace in that reality.

I’m alone and miserable because I’m forced to be alone when life either gives me breadcrumbs or nothing at all when it comes to human connection. 8 billion people and I still feel so out of touch.

I’ve produced & mixed indie rock, dark pop, alternative rock, shoegaze, experimental rock or electronic rock songs. But I figured it’d be way more fun doing it for you, for free. If you want me to custom produce a song for you, or even mix vocals on an instrumental you provide, let me know. This is my way of connecting with similar artists.

I’ve been hunting online to find a direct and true way of connecting, aiding & uplifting indigenous peoples. Nothing disturbs me more than ignorance plaguing the world we live in and it being normalized. Our modern day is post-colonial and more than ever, I think we need strong voices & community to fight ignorance, division, and protect our vulnerable friends.

For background, I’m a person of colour from the Caribbean who‘s been living in Canada 4 years now in Medicine Hat. I witnessed discrimination, hate crimes, racism and the cruel hatred that is justified by yt people. I learnt very quickly that colour, accent, culture got an immediate ‘whiplash‘ for simply being different. And I will say the problem is yt ignorance since most people dance around that fact. Yt ignorance is the problem.

To reduce someone into false ignorant narratives of degradation is a pattern I’ve been seeing here, living here, upon indigenous and people of colour. I heard a lot of wrong harmful narratives about indigenous people and immigrants.

It had me thinking further. I wanted to really understand what is this ugly feeling because it was so strongly celebrated in the faces of people around me. Yet, my spirit rejected this but I was also becoming a little helpless, feeling as if I had no direction in fighting this.

I always wondered why do Indigenous people have to be ‘hidden’ away from everyone else? I’m simply thinking we should live in a society where we see you existing in your definite right just as I would see a stranger roaming on the streets.

I thought to myself: How can we liberate ourselves from hatred, false projections, unjust systems? I can, in no way, put my feet in the modern-day realities of what indigenous peoples face. But I can deeply feel a calling to support any acts of justice in a very unfair land like this.

Hence, the reason I think it’s a human responsibility to have empathy, break down the layers of what ‘civilization’ is, acknowledge history & healthily address what it takes and needs for us to rebuild a society of compassion, humanity & support to indigenous people. There’s people that’s already doing that but I still feel I haven’t found the resources for a simple person like me to be able to add value to your community.

I can only watch documentaries to get a peak into human trafficking, gang violence and poverty that targets vulnerable indigenous communities in order to know what you’re facing. I just want to know how is life right now for your communities, how can I directly speak with you, what can I do to help, what charities directly support you so I know if I donate it really gets to you, how can I build connection to others that need it because I believe we are stronger together, and being able to talk freely, and open our hearts to being a helping hand can go a long way. If anyone needs someone to talk to, I’d love to listen. Because I know feeling alone in whatever war you’re facing is tough and I wouldn’t want you feel like you’re facing this alone.

Even if I can do that. A simple human connection.

Take care.