u/PrimordialGooose

For context, I have like 15 years sober and the first 13 years were doing hardcore, all-in aa. Being sponsored, working the steps, sponsoring others, service commitments at multiple levels, etc. But about 12 years in, I started doing psychoanalysis. I had a "spiritual experience " from psychoanalysis; I changed a lottt for the better and came to realize that aa had totally burned me out and that I no longer resonated with a lot of the rigidity/shamey vibes.

One by one, over time, I broke up with my sponsor, quit my service commitments, and had sponsees move on. But my whole community is aa. I still go to my old group about once a month because I like the people that go and I do like talking about spirituality. But everyone treats me a little differently now. It's like they are weary of me. I know they care about me, but they seem suspicious and/or are judging me.

When I put myself in their shoes, and think about how I would have thought about someone like me who isn't all in, I think i would have been like "well what the hell are you doing here then." There's this like exclusivity thing. Like, we'll if you don't need to do all the aa things then why are you even here. Now, maybe that isn't what they are thinking, I don't know what they are thinking, but I know the energy is quite different towards me.

So, I feel unwelcome. I'm in this in-between space. It would be inauthentic of me to get a sponsor and home group again just to fit in - and I can't unsee the issues with rigidity in the program. But I also don't necessarily want to never go to meetings and not be friends with these people. At least not right now.

Has anyone been through this? How did you deal?

Edit to add: these people are my friends - varying levels of closeness. I feel like they all still want to be my friend, still love and care about me, but those outside my innermost circle just seem a little, as I said, suspicious. A little more guarded, weary, less open. I want to maintain these relationships, so I am wondering if I should address it or just let my actions speak for myself - like, over time, they may be less weird towards me once they realize im not gonna go off the deep end. Or maybe it's the type of thing that may never go away and I just have to get used to being treated a little differently from now on (which maybe i will eventually get sick of).

How do you do it? I only saw 11 clients this week and I feel DEMOLISHED. I probably say less than the average therapist. I am comfortably uncomfortable in some silence. I try to practice waiting for the invitation in session, but how does this work practically? Any other tips?

Is it a common projector experience that people absolutely shut down if you (as a projector) share about yourself without being asked? People always seem soo comfortable to talk about themselves to me, and I'm a good listener and question-asker, but anytime I share bout myself unprompted, it feels like I'm throwing the energy off.

I know about the wait for the invitation thing, but I also want to feel free to share about myself, too. But I really often feel this energetic shift where people are put off/almost ignore what I have to say unless they actually care. Fascinating!

Does anyone know of any virtual psychodynamic book clubs currently (or soon to be) taking place? I have googled, but haven't found what I'm looking for. I am thinking of something for those who are eventually interested in formal psychodynamic or psychoanalytic training, but who aren't yet ready for that commitment.

Edit: wow this took off! Unfortunately, I definitely don't have the capacity to run one - my intention was to put out feelers and see if this exists anywhere. Perhaps my wording was unclear. Apologies!

Hi folks, former crossfitter here (was never very good at crossfit-never super fit) putting feelers out for small group strength training classes in the area. Does something like this exist? I'm hoping to use weights to build muscle and gain strength, without the fast-paced intensity of crossfit that can so often lead to injuries. Hate working out by myself and am hoping to get some help with form when needed. Thanks!

I bought a tempurpedic a couple of years ago - it is way too firm, still. I need something really plush, 3-4inches, but don't want it to hold too much heat like cheap foam. I loved the feel of the serta floating comfort topper, but, of course, they discontinued it and I can't find it anywhere. Does anyone have a good rec?

I have tried: Natural latex topper (sleeponlatex and the softest was still way too firm) Saatva "4 inch" down feather topper (bed is still too firm- doesnt seem to really give 4 inches of softness) Cheap Amazon foam topper that was too hot

Has anyone here had experience with a 1-2 year online psychoanalytic training program? Thus far, I know of WAWI's IPPP and IPSS in NY.

I am looking for something broad, preferrably relational, and rigorous but not overwhelming. I do hope to do full analytic training at some point, but wanting to get a basic overview and to gain more support around working psychodynamically with patients in the meantime.