u/PrinceZero1994

...because my mom (teacher with 10k take home) hired a dishwasher.

3 years ko na binabayaran lahat pero kalahati ng house chores at pet chores ako pa rin,
hati sa isa kong kapatid.
Me as panganay (1) with mysterious income lost a lot of money,
1 sister resigned and doing phd now,
2 working adults (mom and sis), 2 tambay dropout bunso, 2 partners, all adults,
pero walang makahugas ng pinggan at pinagkainan.
Binanlawan ko na para di nila ihulog lahat ng oil at tira-tira sa drain para di mag-clog.
Malinis ang labado, may sponge, dishwashing liquid, may electric fan pa.
7 plates, 7 spoons and forks, 7 pans and pots lang.
Patamaran ang contest tapos ako pa ang masama kung uutusan ko sila.
Nakakapagod ding mang-utos palagi tapos maririnig ko na lang bossing daw ako.

I took a vid of him before the pets' dinner and after. It's hitting hard that one is missing now during meal time.

I have so much guilt in me my heart could explode any second.

I'm sorry for being negligent as a primary caretaker.

I was just not strong enough.

I left him roam free all 2025, took only 1 photo of him by december, and he started coming during the dogs' walk this year then going on the road on his own more this past month.

Just at 2 years old, he died, possibly got ran over at 2am, while hunting near the road.

He was found halfway home, 25 meters away.

I sat on my computer for hours and no one really cared where he was.

No one in my family really looked out for him.

He was too affectionate and free but he's friends with all our other cats and dogs.

I was starting to really get close to him as he started sleeping in my table for the past 8 months and mellowed down the biting and scratching then this happens.

I can't believe how dumb I am for tightening up my dogs security against road hazards but not for my orange cats.

There's a hundred what ifs on my mind.

It's all my fault.

(More details on my first post.)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Petloss/comments/1ua6bdf/i_cant_blame_anyone_but_myself/

Our orange cat Maru was 2 years old and I let him roam around the road.
He got ran over around 2 am after he sneaked out again after walking with my sisters and our dogs 2 hours earlier.
No external wounds or visible injuries, but he got a slight mark on left side of his face, some muddy dark marks on his left arm and shoulder and a bit on the left chest.
Normally, he would stay home and wait for me to walk the dogs around 4 am but he wanted to have fun by himself early.
I'm absolutely devastated. The hole he left in my heart is very big and I feel guilty just thinking about being happy myself.
He would sleep on my work table to guard me as I slept beside in the floor on a mattress.
I woke up looking for him but he'll never be beside me again.
If only I did my chores I'd see him on the road which is 40 meters away up the driveway.
If only I did not play games thinking I'd gain ratings after I got a good sleep.
If only I had not been lazy. If only I had not neglected his road safety.
If only I took the multiple dead cats up the road as a serious warning.
I saw him had a close call the other day and that's the only time I saw him near danger.
Sleep deprived me did not think much of it.
Little did I know, I should have taken that seriously.
I watched him froze then panic as he heard a tricycle and he crossed the road towards home as the vehicle approached.
The same thing possibly happened and it got him this time.
If only I did not lose most of my money gambling and moved to a dream rural house with safety fence.
I envisioned living with my pets for the 10 years and that future is gone now.
If only we did not neuter him early, maybe he matured differently and effed around elsewhere and did not love the road area.
2 years old, he died as baby, like my nephews/nieces said.
I can't even think that he had a good life.
I'm still looking for answers for myself.
Our new cctv was only positioned to see 30 meters away and that's as far as he got when he was found.
He possibly still tried to ran home and that breaks my heart.
I'll listen to my neighbors cctv tomorrow as he said he may have heard cries but I doubt that's him.
None of this would bring him back but still I can't move forward without knowing things.