I forgot how to make friends, and I feel so alone, I truly don't know what to do
So basically I go to a tech school so I'm in one of the trade/shop, theres about 20 ish people in there including me and it feels like they're all friends with each other and I'm so incredibly envious. Last year I started off with no friends because it was a new school and I didn't make any friends for the first few months, because I was a quiet kid, kinda depressed and my mom had said I didn't have to stay there all 4 years of high school if I didn't want to, so I knew there was an out, so didn't try as hard to make friends but I still tried.
But I did end up making a few friends, and honestly I don't remember how, I just remembered talking to some people in December/January then in may/June they were my friends. I do remember how I became friends with one of them because it was so incredibly stressful and still effecting me today. But I digress the problem is my envy/me being frustrated at my inability to talk to people, also my one friend who's just randomly stopped talking to me, and I thought the problem was solved since I addressed the situation, we made up, but she went right back to not talking to me.
And the problem was that she asked this guy's friend for his friend's number, and she only did this because earlier in the year she asked if I thought anyone was cute and I said the guy who's number she was trying to get for me. She said she would try but I didn't believe she would actually be able to since apparently she couldn't, and my friends in the past never did anything for me like that. But one day she came up to me and said she that the night before she asked his friend for his number, and she didn't tell his friend why she wanted it just that she was 'trying to get it for a friend'. And I heard from eavesdropping he 'had an idea of who wanted his number' and I hate it when someone thinks I like them, and even if I do they don't need to know that.
So after I learned all that I was kinda freaking out because I was pretty overwhelmed, and later that day in school, she was teasing me about it and I told her 'I didn't wanna talk about it' and she said 'so what did I even do this for?' Or something along those lines and she kinda just shut down around me. I understood why she would say and act like that but I was still stressing the fuck out. Later than day after school, I got his number from her, since he gave it to her, I texted him smoothed things over with him and explained what happened, we became friends and for the last 2 days of school we played poker with a few other people. Also the last 2 days in school I didn't spend as much time with her but when I did she wasn't really talking to me and I asked her if it was because of the number thing and I wanted to make sure it wasn't, she said it wasn't, then after those 2 days summer started and we didn't text often since she usually takes days to respond to me.
Then this year started she wasn't really talking to me again, I texted her about it and apologized if she was mad at me about how I reacted, she said she wasn't mad at me about that and said we'd go back to normal. But we didn't. I ended up asking one of out mutual friends if she was mad at me, and what our mutual friend told me was that she thought I was mad at her about the number situation(which btw I'm not, I'm actually pretty happy she did, he's really fucking nice😭). I've tried to talk to her about it but she kept walking away so I just told one of our other mutual friends what our other friend told me and that I wasn't mad at her at all, and idk if she did. And honestly I really miss out friendship, idk what happened but it sucks knowing I lost a friend over such a stupid miscommunication. And I understand that teenage girls can be like this, but I think this is a little ridiculous.
The other thing is that I don't know how to become friends/be able to talk to the people in my shop, because everyone just talks to everyone so easily and the people in my shop are really nice too. I talk to them but not a lot. I don't wanna sound dramatic but I'm yearning to be able to talk to them but I don't know how to. Also theres this tension between me and the friend I made through that miscommunication so we don't talk in shop yet we text, and I've been trying to approach him but I don't know how and its so frustrating, because he so approachable. Plus for the past 4 ish years I've felt like the person who makes the duo a trio, as in the 'duo in the trio'. So now that I'm in an environment where I'm feeling like that everyday, its been horrible. The mix of envy, frustration and loneliness is horrible, and I don't let the enviousness make me do anything mean to my friends because I'm grateful for them so I wouldn't want to do anything to push them away so I just keep those feeling bottled up. Obviously those feelings come out one way or another ans its usually me spontaneously combusting into tears, and its happened 3 times already this year. And I really don't want that to continue to happen, I really wanna be able to become friends with the people in my shop but I really dont know how to. I know high school isn't typically a walk in the park but it shouldn't be so bad theres a 50/50 chance you'll cry over the smallest inconvenience, like onions not stinging your eyes like they usually do, because you're so tired of everything.