Especially the (—) thing everywhere , as soon as i see it i lose interest right away , this place feels like a bunch of ai bots with no personality no style and no depth , i can't even tell what's real anymore
I know our identities are not fixed , i know we're always changing , but what exactly are we changing ? , our personalities? Then again what exactly is a personality , our way of thinking ? Our habits? Our mindset? , i mean , can we really change our mindsets?
I'm geniunely asking cuz yes , i can put the effot into changing a habit yes i can change some beliefs yes it can feel like i'm a "better" or "diffrent" person for a shprt period of time, but at the end of the day...it's still "me" , like there's this default mode i always go back to and it's exhausting , i don't like the way my brain functions when i'm not consciously guiding it if thst makes any sense , and i don't know how to explain this either , but like , no matter how much we try , there's always a limit , something in the back of our minds that has always been there and we can never get rid of
I don't really know where to post this, but i really need to get it out of my chest , my dad is turning 66 soon ,and he has been working for his ENTIRE life , around 40 years of teaching now. He's a very stubborn man who would NOT accept any help from anyone , would not even let us pay for anything with our own money and insists on saving it until i'm old and wise enough to use it (i'm 17f) , i used to look up to him whenever i'm being lazy and feel guilty about it , but now it's workaholism and burn out, cuz NO MATTER WHAT he'd wake at the same time every day (5am) and do the same routine he has had for as long as i've known him (works from 8 to around 10-11pm , teaching/extra classes on weekends in another city)
I know the weight of his responsibilities is tremendous (my mom is a SAHW, i have 3 siblings , 2 of them are studying abroad n he takes care of most of their needs, they're in europe too which is INSANELY expensive, they try to take care of themselves but as i said he's stubborn and insists on taking care of everything for them , AND we're building a house )
I just, i REALLY want him to rest , i don't even think he knows how to at this point, today i payed for my own extra classes , which i have been procrastinating for like 3 months just so he doesn't pay for it , only to find out that he noticed i took the money and refilled it again ( i have a ccp account he made for me when i opened my small business that we both have access to )
I know he's doing all of this for us , and we are living a very comfortable life because of it , but i do not want it to be at the expense of his own health...i don't even know how to talk to him abt this
Like: hey today i met this old granny at the park..../today i went out with my kid or today was my first day at work.... , just people yapping abt their simple insignificant lives