u/ProductNo0001

I have about 6 months or so until im homeless, im doing what I can to prep but any helpful advice would be good?

I.e. good areas for cheap shelter, food, what supplies, etc..

Im a soldier by trade so shit living isn't new to me, I just wanna try and survive until I can do better.

I dont know who else to ask or what to take in concrete.

My wife and I want kids but shes afraid of everything with it; I want to do whatever i cam to show her she has a husband who is ready to support her and I dont know enough about what a good husband does for his wife during pregnancy or after. Like what to expect, how to ensure I have everything ready, you know?

I just want to be a good husband to her and I don't have any other guy to really ask this to, so here we are!

A lot of my friends and co workers smoke cannabis, its hard to tell them why I quit without sounding judgemental to them.

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I was on and off addicted to cannabis for some time. It started during a hard point in my life but I controlled it for the most part, but you know how it goes you start with the sense of "its only on the weekends" to "its my glass of wine after work"

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After reaching a point where i made stupid decision that thankfully didnt hurt anyone i knew it was time to quit for good.

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I quit cannabis cold turkey, my normal intake was about 50 to 150 mg edibles daily. I smoked over 10-15 cigarettes a day.

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I felt heavy, bogged down. Now, i feel like a weight has been lifted.

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Im so grateful to finally be done with that part of my life and I dont plan on turning back now. It may only be 2 week right now but in time it'll be months and years clean.

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Im finally free from my addiction. I couldnt be prouder of myself.

To start, I post my past experience towards supernatural encounters a few times here as i enjoy sharing what i know as a fact, as much of a fact like i know blood runs through our vains.

The last time it occured was in 2004 when I was young and it left me traumatized for years until I eventually forgot, but was reminded in detail by my mom.

Since then, ive explored the topics of paranormal encounters, understanding the psychology towards most and enjoying debunking what I could, along side my mom. I never felt what I felt then until today.

I wrote down what I felt, im going to copy it but at the bottom ill put a TL;DR

Event and observation:

Visiting the Kingston Pen was going to be considered, by my family and I, a time to respect the history of our country. Being built before Canada was officially a country, its clear the stories of this place would be plentiful.

Our first stop, while awaiting our time for the tour, was the old wardens house across the street from the pen. My wife, mother and I had visited this location once before and I had no ill feelings towards the place, its history, or the events that were showcased in displays.

Today however felt different, it felt wrong. I didnt feel it walking up the stairs to the house but the moment I stepped through the doors I could feel it. This dark pit, I dont have words to describe other than it felt wrong. Unnatural.

This feeling, which I chalked to limited food intake and the affect of my current stressors, did not dissipate. Even after leaving the building and sitting on a bench to smoke, I felt this darkness loom over me. Like blanket I couldn't take off. I felt raw, out of my element.

Again, pushing it aside to stress or mental factors i talked with my wife before meeting with the rest of my family.

We had entered the pen through the main doors, the architecture was of course old. Limestone, cut hundreds of years ago stood strong as a testament to the entrapment these convicts, these people felt day-to-day.

This was when my feeling on unease became more noticeable, resulting in a vicarious sensation I have yet to be able to replicate nor have I felt in over 20 years.

We entered the courtyard of the pen, it was clean, wide, green with grass. You wouldnt have imagined such attrossities occurred on these premises as without the bars on the windows, or even with them on, it could've easily been an educational institution.

My first feeling came upon arriving to the designated tour spot. Behind us were doors, two specifically overlapping one another. The front most door was a large iron gate, barred like a traditional prison door, that stood over 15ft tall and behind it a worn wooden door.

I touched the gate, admiring the history, when a wave of unease came across. I need to emphasize this, I have seen things that no person should see, violence of an unprecedented nature. Ive experienced trauma, ptsd, it takes a great deal to shake my nerves. But when I touched this gate, the metal was cool to the touch but not cold. A wave of darkness flooded, the hair on the arm that touched the gate even after removing stood on edge. I could feel it, i could feel the horror, the pain, fear, death that had crossed its threshold. It was from here I became super vigilant. Several crows or Ravens had been seen over head, not together but separate. One flew over head after I touched and another before we entered the pen. I felt like I wasn't supposed to be here, that something was watching me, that it knew I could feel it.

We entered the main part of the pen where the cells were lined up. My mom and step dad had fun, they couldn't feel or, for lack of a better term, sense what i did.

There was art created by the past residences, the convicts, of this cell block. I felt nothing there, it was empty to me. I tried to touch several spots, trying to see if a simular temperature stimulus could create the feeling i had at the main gate but none had affected.

Until we walked by one cell upon leaving, there was wrapping along the bars, i couldn't make the material but it appeared like bandaging of sorts. I thought I felt something but couldn't confirm. I decline this as a strong point.

The next spot was where the 1971 riot occurred, outside of the pen canteen. Despite the events that occurred I felt no sensation or stimulus. That was until I looked down a hallway, it wasnt long persay, maybe 15 meters long, i looked down and I felt like something was looking back at me.

We then entered an area that, to my understanding, was the main hub of the pen. It was here I could feel it. I could feel the fear, it was monumental in nature. Overwhelming. I couldn't stay long and thus my observations for this area are limited.

Then we entered a secured cell block, there was a laminated sign saying suicide watch, I felt something minute at first until I approached cell 15. Without looking in, I felt it again, darkness. Pain, fear, hurt and loss. When I walked in the walls were full of words many of which had deteriated but one could stand out clear as day.

"Help me."

This was the last for me, by this point I knew I needed to leave i had to leave, there was nothing in this building this area that I wanted to see. I needed to get out.

Thats all i felt. You must leave. Now.

When I left the pen, no pictures taken aside from the memories in my mind, the sense of dread, of darkness did not leave. I felt shaken to my core buy this building.

I entered the pen with the mindset of it being a beautiful historic point with a dark unfavorable history.

Now, I beleive this building, its contents, everything about it must be destroyed.

There is something there, a darkness, one of pain, fear and death. It does not belong in this world. The harm this building in its entirety exudes does not have a place in this world.

I am a [REMOVED]. My job is to see things and do things that normal people shouldn't be expected to do. I fear little, and with the content ive seen there's little that phases me anymore.

But this place, its wrong. Thats the most accurate description I can provide, it is wrong.

In 2004, I had my first experience towards something unexplainable. I tried for years to find it again. Ive read what I could but it is hard to filter through truth, mental illness, fabrication/delusions of some ability (such as most psychics) and felt nothing that relates to what ive seen.

This was the first time in 20 years this feeling came back.

My current therory utilizing what exposure I could consider, is the belief of life and death intowards oneself. Past the age of 6 to just 2 weeks ago, I wanted to die. I did not wish to live on this earth, in this life. My view pointz through therapy and help has changed and now I chose to live my life to the fullest.

This is the difference, this is what I beleive allows one to feel things not of this world. We limit our ability to view the world in its entirety. As a child, you beleive in the wonders and magic of the world before eventually diluting it with burdens, trauma, etc. We lose our ability to view the world in any other way than what we know as factual.

This, to me, felt like an awakening. Like a piece of myself had been recovered in a way I do not yet have an explanation for aside from the desire to live. It is this lost piece that I beleive allows us to sense things otherwise impossible to detect by traditional human senses and even the technological advanced we have created.

I do not know what resides in the pen, but I know for certain I will never return. What ever is there, what ever energy remains from the continous pain, horror and death, should not be probed by the living.

TL;DR I felt immense unease, fear and darkness while visiting a old penitentiary and was unable to recreate it using external stimulation (cold touches, wind, etc)