u/ProfessionFar8853

Recently, a friend of mine has shown all the signs of vulnerable narcissism.

The reason I think she is vulnerable narcissist is:

• quite smugness
• victim mentality, even when given solution over many years
• passive aggression
• poor listening skills for others problem
• constantly draining emotional energy in every social situation
• toxic amnesia - saying they don't remember something bad they did, changing narrative and avoiding conversatioms when she knows she is wrong

In arguments she runs through one illogical argument to another, after an hour of which we are back in square one. As soon as I give a logical answer she moves onto something else.

I do not want to diagnose her. But I do want to know if there is anything that can help her at all, before its too late.

She already lost most friends, relationship eith her parents and siblings are on the rock too.

My Question:

Cluld this be vulnerable narcissm?

What would have helped you seek a diagnosis or treatment sooner?

Is there any hope for someone with NPD?

Could it be something other than NPD?

P.S:

I know better than to swim out to a drowning man and risk being pulled under, but I still want to throw them a life jacket from a safe distance.

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Firstly, I am sorry about what you are going through. I have empathy for people with NPD and I’m not here to judge. Between having ADHD myself and reading a lot about brain development, I know how much of our wiring comes from early childhood environments.

I know from my own bouts of depression that a narcissistic collapse sounds like hell, and I hate seeing them suffer and isolate themselves.

Background:

I grew up with narcissistic abuse, which made me highly empathetic but also vulnerable to attracting narcissists. Recently, a friend of mine has shown all the signs of vulnerable narcissism. They were triggered lately and showed their true face, which others have noticed in private too- word salads, triangulation, gas lighting and more.

Despite this, I feel for the childhood neglect they went through. I don't believe in "punishing" narcissists—the emptiness they feel is already the biggest punishment

They have always been very resistant to therapy, journaling, or looking for solutions.

My Question:

What would have helped you seek a diagnosis or treatment sooner? Is there any hope for someone with NPD?

P.S:

I know better than to swim out to a drowning man and risk being pulled under, but I still want to throw them a life jacket from a safe distance.