u/Professional-Web-128

I didn’t know where to post this.

I (25F) have a coworker (24M), who I will name Mike. We’ve been friends for a while. We did our internship together, came back full-time, and stayed friends. I have to admit, during our internships we weren’t close and only hung out when I was with other friends. But when I came back full-time, he was one of the very few people I knew, so we started hanging out more.

My best friend, who I will call Zara, also works here, but in a completely different area. I usually only meet up with her outside of work.

Going back to Mike. I thought we were just friends. We work in different departments but the same business area, so we do collaborate on a lot of things. However, whenever I hang out with Zara, he always asks, “Where’s my invite?” even when I’ve explicitly mentioned it’s a girls night. The “where’s my invite” line comes up constantly, and it’s getting really annoying. Zara does not like Mike, which is exactly why I don’t invite him.

One time, Zara and I were eating outside a sandwich place. He happened to be out with a hiking group, saw us, and literally yelled across the street, “Yo, where’s my invite?!” Like, what the heck? It’s not like he doesn't have people to hang out with; he does his own thing, and I don't go around yelling at him for invites. He does not like the things I do like shopping, reading, coffee shops. We have nothing in common. He does a lot of things, how do I know cause he told me. Barely any invites, when I do get invites it’s for event I don’t like.

Another instance: Zara and I went to a pottery event hosted by our company, which Mike actually helped organize. He saw me at work later and was like, “How come I didn’t get an invite?” Dude, you organized it!, you can just come! He even ran into Zara alone at the grocery store later and cornered her like, “Oh, I heard you went to the pottery event, how come you guys didn’t invite me?” She told me about it later and talked about how annoying it was.

Lately, I started going to hot yoga classes. He asked me, "How come you don't invite me?" Sometimes he makes me feel so guilty that I end up inviting him. I did invite him one day, but I had to cancel last minute because of work. I told him he could still go without me, but he ended up canceling too. When I went the next day, he asked what I did, and I told him I went to the class. He goes, “Damn, you mad stingy about these invites.” Like... you can literally go on your own???!!!
I am a total homebody, so I don’t mind staying in. But he’s always judging me for it, asking, “What do you even do all day after work? Or wow you watch a lot of movie! Or omg you’re always going walking on that high school track ground!?” I live near a high school and they have an open track field that whole community uses in the evening. I see many people go running there.

Sometimes I feel so guilty that I end up hanging out with him and his friends, even though I don’t like any of them.

Anyway, getting to the main point: We hung out alone for two weekends in a row because Zara had to work overtime and I just wanted to do something outside. We hung out, and he paid for everything. I didn’t ask him to, and I even asked him to let me send him money, but he refused. I think he took the whole thing the wrong way.
Then on Sunday, he asked to go to the movies. I assumed he meant him and a couple of other people, but it turned out to be just the two of us. After the movie, he turned to me and said, “Let me take you out on a date.”

I actually said no at first. He immediately pushed back: “Come on, I can’t be as bad as the last guy.” It was so awkward, and we were standing outside in the freezing cold, so I just ended up saying yes to get out of the situation.

The next day, I doubled back. I called him and told him I didn’t want to go out because we are coworkers. (The truth is I also just don’t like him like that, but I didn’t say it). He kept pushing: “Why not? We are adults, why would working together matter? I’m moving to a different area soon anyway, how about we go out after I move?”

I had to say NO five different times and keep repeating that I don’t want to go out with someone I work with. He just couldn’t take the hint. In the end, he just dismissed it with, "We are adults, it's fine."

Maybe it’s just me, because I’m a girl in a very male dominated field, but now I find it so incredibly awkward to talk to him or be around him. Am I wrong for getting a massive ick from all the “where’s my invite” nagging, and him basically judging me for everything I do outside of work?

I didn’t know where to post this.

I (25F) have a coworker (24M), who I will name Mike. We’ve been friends for a while. We did our internship together, came back full-time, and stayed friends. I have to admit, during our internships we weren’t close and only hung out when I was with other friends. But when I came back full-time, he was one of the very few people I knew, so we started hanging out more.

My best friend, who I will call Zara, also works here, but in a completely different area. I usually only meet up with her outside of work.

Going back to Mike. I thought we were just friends. We work in different departments but the same business area, so we do collaborate on a lot of things. However, whenever I hang out with Zara, he always asks, “Where’s my invite?” even when I’ve explicitly mentioned it’s a girls night. The “where’s my invite” line comes up constantly, and it’s getting really annoying. Zara does not like Mike, which is exactly why I don’t invite him.

One time, Zara and I were eating outside a sandwich place. He happened to be out with a hiking group, saw us, and literally yelled across the street, “Yo, where’s my invite?!” Like, what the heck? It’s not like he doesn't have people to hang out with; he does his own thing, and I don't go around yelling at him for invites. He does not like the things I do like shopping, reading, coffee shops. We have nothing in common. He does a lot of things, how do I know cause he told me. Barely any invites, when I do get invites it’s for event I don’t like.

Another instance: Zara and I went to a pottery event hosted by our company, which Mike actually helped organize. He saw me at work later and was like, “How come I didn’t get an invite?” Dude, you organized it, you can just come! He even ran into Zara alone at the grocery store later and cornered her like, “Oh, I heard you went to the pottery event, how come you guys didn’t invite me?” She told me about it later and talked about how annoying it was.

Lately, I started going to hot yoga classes. He asked me, "How come you don't invite me?" Sometimes he makes me feel so guilty that I end up inviting him. I did invite him one day, but I had to cancel last minute because of work. I told him he could still go without me, but he ended up canceling too. When I went the next day, he asked what I did, and I told him I went to the class. He goes, “Damn, you mad stingy about these invites.” Like... you can literally go on your own???!!!
I am a total homebody, so I don’t mind staying in. But he’s always judging me for it, asking, “What do you even do all day after work? Or wow you watch a lot of movie! Or omg you’re always going walking on that high school track ground!?” I live near a high school and they have an open track field that whole community uses in the evening. I see many people go running there.

Sometimes I feel so guilty that I end up hanging out with him and his friends, even though I don’t like any of them.

Anyway, getting to the main point: We hung out alone for two weekends in a row because Zara had to work overtime and I just wanted to do something outside. We hung out, and he paid for everything. I didn’t ask him to, and I even asked him to let me send him money, but he refused. I think he took the whole thing the wrong way.
Then on Sunday, he asked to go to the movies. I assumed he meant him and a couple of other people, but it turned out to be just the two of us. After the movie, he turned to me and said, “Let me take you out on a date.”

I actually said no at first. He immediately pushed back: “Come on, I can’t be as bad as the last guy.” It was so awkward, and we were standing outside in the freezing cold, so I just ended up saying yes to get out of the situation.

The next day, I doubled back. I called him and told him I didn’t want to go out because we are coworkers. (The truth is I also just don’t like him like that, but I didn’t say it). He kept pushing: “Why not? We are adults, why would working together matter? I’m moving to a different area soon anyway, how about we go out after I move?”

I had to say NO five different times and keep repeating that I don’t want to go out with someone I work with. He just couldn’t take the hint. In the end, he just dismissed it with, "We are adults, it's fine."

Maybe it’s just me, because I’m a girl in a very male dominated field, but now I find it so incredibly awkward to talk to him or be around him. Am I wrong for getting a massive ick from all the “where’s my invite” nagging, and him basically judging me for everything I do outside of work?