u/Professional_Ant2948

Some background info: My dad has had a series of medical issues in the past 4 years and it has affected his mobility and he has chronic pain. My mom (64F) is the other half of caretaker support. I watch her try to balance acting like a full time caretaker while working full time hours at her retail job. I know she is stressed, drained, and burnt out. So I try to balance supporting with my dad and my mom - physically and mentally - while working full time as a teacher.

I’ve been supporting my mom most recently, is being her vent source and making sure that she is doing basic tasks for herself. I’ve been supporting my dad with mobility things and trying to prevent feelings of loneliness. I want to take care of both of them so that way they feel physically, mentally, and spiritually content. However, I’m realizing that if my mom is my dad‘s go to person and I’m my mom’s go to person, then I need to go to person to be able to get everything out with or to just be myself without the titles of daughter, teacher, caretaker, etc.

Usually, that is my sister (30F) or my brother-in-law (31M). My sister and brother-in-law have not been the most consistent supports with my dad. They do not live in the home and always express frustration/annoyance (whether through their words or actions) when we ask for some support. And the support can look like coming over when my mom and I are both busy or just simply coming in for a few minutes when they’re dropping something off to chat with my dad. Or if I talk about things that are going on either medically or behaviorally with my dad then it becomes a situation of I’m being too matter of fact about it. This makes my sister feel like I’m holding back and not telling her whole truth which then create feelings/arguments. Needless to say, I haven’t been able to go to them.

For the first time in a long time, I have felt bitter and frustrated with having to take care of the emotional needs of my dad after a long day for myself personally. I got stuck in thought spiral and walked away feeling guilty about being annoyed with him.

I am at a loss with how to continue being a support to both my dad and my mom when I am in need of some support for myself. I have one friend I could go to, but we’re both busy with our own lives so we don’t see each other more than once a month or once every two months. I have another friend who will play the game of oppression Olympics with me, which is not helpful.

I really don’t know why I’m posting here other than to maybe see if there’s anyone else in my position and has advice.

My (30f) sister (30f) has been getting dropped off in the morning to car pool with our mom so my brother-in-law can get to his dog training job at 6:00 am. This morning I wanted to treat her and my mom to Dunkin’ since they both had to go in around the same time.

I woke up early, ordered the food, and went down to eat with them. I’m currently on a staycation so I don’t work today.

After eating and chatting, my sister gets the urge to throw my soft dumpling stress ball at my face. She asks if she can I say no. My mom says “if you don’t think it will, then let me do it to you first” and my sister is game. Mom throws it at my sister’s chin, it doesn’t hurt, and then Kathleen turns to me. I’m still saying no. My sister is playing around saying that she’s going to do it. I’m still saying no. I don’t think she’s actually going to do it but she does. She throws it at my face and hits me in the eye. It hurts, nothing crazy but still hurts.

Is it weird for me to be upset over getting hit in the eye in a moment of joking around? I know she meant no harm. However, she completely ignored that I was telling her no and to not do it. I didn’t react in the moment, but since my sister and my mom left for work I have felt angry and upset that she didn’t listen to the words I was saying. It feels like my words don’t matter to her.

So, am I overreacting?