u/ProofSatis-faction

I (24F) share a two-bedroom apartment with my older brother "Mark" (27M). We split rent and utilities 50/50. It's not perfect, but we've made it work for two years. Or so I thought.

Three weeks ago, Mark told me his girlfriend "Jess" (26F) was "staying over for a few days" while she looked for a new place. I said okay — days, not weeks. I came home from a work trip last Friday and found Jess's clothes in the hallway, her makeup covering the bathroom counter, and her cat sitting on my couch. She had moved in. No conversation. No heads-up. Just... here.

When I asked Mark what was going on, he said, "Oh yeah, she's gonna stay for a while. Rent is crazy and she needed somewhere to land." I asked how long "a while" was. He shrugged and said, "I don't know, a couple months maybe?" I reminded him that we agreed to discuss any long-term guests. He rolled his eyes and said, "She's my girlfriend, not a guest. You need to chill."

Here's the thing — Jess doesn't work right now. She's "between jobs." She's home all day, uses my streaming accounts without asking, eats my food from the fridge, and has taken over the living room with her Zoom calls. I came home Tuesday to find she'd rearranged the entire kitchen because she "likes it better this way." My brother just laughed and said, "She's nesting!"

I sat them both down and said this wasn't working. I offered a compromise: she could stay if she contributed to rent and utilities and respected my space. Mark said I was being "cold" and "making a big deal out of nothing." Jess started crying and said she felt "unwelcome." My brother told me I was "ruining his relationship."

Then my parents called. Apparently Mark had complained to them. My mom said, "Honey, family helps family. She's struggling. You have an extra room anyway." I pointed out that I don't have an extra room — I pay for my room. The living room and kitchen are common areas. Mom said, "You're being selfish. This is what family does."

Now I'm the villain. Mark gives me the silent treatment. Jess makes passive-aggressive comments about me "hating her." And I'm paying half the rent for an apartment where I can't even use my own living room.

I'm not against her staying. I'm against being steamrolled. I'm against coming home to find my home isn't mine anymore. I'm tired of being told to "be flexible" when no one is flexible with me.

Should I move out and leave them with the full rent? Or do I stand my ground and risk becoming the family outcast?

My father left when I was 10. He just packed a bag one day and never came back. He stopped paying child support, stopped calling, stopped everything. My mom worked two jobs to raise me and my sister. I haven't seen or spoken to him in over 20 years.

Last week, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. It was him. He said he has kidney failure and needs a transplant. He said I'm his only family match and he's "running out of time." He asked me to donate a kidney. He said he "knows he made mistakes" and he's "not asking for forgiveness, just a second chance at life."

I told him no. I said I'm sorry he's sick, but I don't know him. He's a stranger to me. A stranger who abandoned a 10-year-old kid and never looked back. I told him to find a donor elsewhere.

He started crying on the phone. He said I'm "punishing him with death" and that he "would have done it for me." My aunt (his sister) called me and said I'm being cruel, that "family is family," and that I should "be the bigger person."

I feel guilty. I do. But I also feel angry. Why am I supposed to give up an organ for someone who gave up on me first? AITAH?