My Optimum breakup story
Spoiler alert: this is not one of the optimum cancelation horror stories that one sees so often on Reddit.
So, I have broken up with Optimum after 11+ years. Expecting the worst, I allowed extra time one morning two weeks ago to deal with "customer retention". I was connected to someone in fairly short order and explained that I was moving out of Optimum territory (this was true, but also a way to expedite the process based on everything I've read).
First they asked me for my new address. None of their business, really, but I was happy to comply with the request since I knew for a fact that Optimum did not service the new area. Then came the questions and the repeated holds while the "processed my request". The questions were along the lines of "did I want to put my account on hold in case I'd be moving back" (answer, no), and "was anyone in my household staying behind to continue the service" (no) and "would I care to hear about a wonderful Optimum mobile offer available to me"(no). I remained cordial and patient most of the way through this process, but when we hit the 30 minute mark I began to be a bit annoyed that it was taking so long.
Finally, after 35 minutes (yes, I timed it) the process ended and I am free and clear. I returned my equipment and received confirmation emails for both the returned equipment (right away) and the cancellation of service itself (about 1 day later), and that was that.
All in all, I consider myself fortunate it went as smoothly as it did. 35 minutes to cancel a service I no longer want is about 25-30 minutes longer than it should have taken, but I've heard of far worse.
So for those of you left behind, good luck to you.