u/Prudent-Reality1170

High fae lords. Seelie princes. Bastard sons of Vampire Kings. Why?!? WHY aren’t these MMC’s more believable?! For once, I just want to have a believable MMC like a Fae CPA. A Vampire Realtor. An Unseelie Podiatrist. Gods know the chances of the majority of us finding a shadow daddy lord or being spirited away as the captured bride of some elven prince are probably lower than my IQ, so…none. But being whisked away by a Fae Sanitation Specialist? One who had a reasonably ok childhood, maybe drinks too much fairy wine on the weekends, and has to manage his ulcerative colitis? Oh, and has a little speed bump belly to pad all those fairy mating bang sessions?!? Now THAT’S an MMC I might actually encounter in the real world. THAT’S an MMC I can actually picture in order to more easily self insert.

I would like to nominate cartoonist Matthew Inman as an honorary mod for RCJ for his stellar work back in the 20-teens concerning Twilight. I think of “Pants” daily, and his cartoons helped me as a non-reader to better understand the gravity and impact of the series. Also, I find it absurd and concerning that his essay does not regularly make the rounds on this sub. To my fellow 1900’s Sloopies, WE MUST EDUCATE YOUNG SLOOPY MINDS, to pass on our glorious history so that it is not lost!!! Shame on you all. Shame.

After 18 months of absolutely DETESTING it, I am happy to report that I once again like the taste of water!!! I would like to thank the unofficial sponsor of my last year and a half of H2O consumption: Crystal Light! Without their innovative work, I would be a raisin shaped UTI with legs. Their little packets, haphazardly tossed by the handful into the bottom of every bag, purse, and clutch, gave me the strength to hydrate when I no longer had the will (or love) to drink plain-ass water because it suddenly “tasted wrong.” Also, a special shout out to their caffeinated fruit flavored packets which ALSO helped me through many a trial when no coffee stand or hot water kettle was within my reach. Bless.

My God, the rhetorical style is generally a whole lot of nothing. And even when I did my utmost to question and to be willing to truly examine what I was being told, I could not see it for what it was!

I’ve been out of the church almost a year, now. While still a practicing christian of a sort, I’ve recently experienced some pretty harsh rejection from some family and people in my community for (of course) not being the “right” kind of christian. The rejection from family hit particularly hard, as it revealed that they are much further down the rabbit hole of fundamentalism than I had realized. So, out of genuine curiosity, and being in a much healthier place mentally, I’ve been speed listening through sermons on YouTube from local preachers (we have SO MANY evangelical and fundamentalist churches in this town!), trying to get a good pulse on what believers in my town are hearing on a weekly basis.

Sermon after sermon, these preachers say nothing.

A sermon series on a particular section or particular book in the Bible.

An entire passage is read aloud.

The pastor prays.

The pastor gives an anecdote, using it to establish his point.

Some pastors take a moment to remind people of the historical context of this particular passage.

Now new verses are introduced, 1 or 2 from here and 1 or 2 from there in the Old Testament, New Testament.

A small section of the original passage is then connected to these other verses, and to his sermon point.

On to the application. This part will include at least 3 or more of the following:

- trust Jesus/God more

- be SO GRATEFUL for Jesus’ sacrifice

- let me remind you of petty, minuscule things that prove you are a terrible sinner, incapable of earning God’s favor

- you aren’t sharing the gospel enough, because if you were, this whole town would be different. We don’t do enough for God.

- if you follow God, your life will have meaning. If you don’t, your life will be awful.

- if you follow Jesus, you will suffer, but it’s different than the awful of not following God

- trust me, you really want this way of life! It’s what you’re made for.

- If God has touched your heart today, please pray this prayer to accept Jesus. If you have already accepted Jesus, obey that pull on your heart and get involved. Fill out a volunteer card.

So much time and effort to say so much nothing. No real examination of the original passage. No positing ideas and contrasting it with scholar’s views, other documents from similar times and places, not even looking at something by an early church father recognized by other Christian traditions like the Orthodox or Catholic Church. It’s this closed system of pre-packaged “theology” communicated by concocting a word salad of recognized scriptures and cultural touch stones.

And it’s so damn empty. No wonder I was so exhausted all the time! No wonder I struggled SO MUCH to honor these “lessons” I was taught, because they were based on nothing of any real substance or thought.

Now, in my time in evangelicalism, there were occasionally sermons that carried actual weight, that broke through the repetitive monotony and actually gave solid direction based on the ideas of Christ’s humility, love of neighbor and stranger, and radical compassion. I remember those messages and those pastors. And not a single one of them still holds a position in the evangelical church, most because they chose to step down from burnout. Not one.

Yet these empty sermons with nothing but obligation, duty, and self-loathing are permeating churches in my community, churches my friends and family attend.

And I can’t help but think, “My God, what have we done?”

There’s a reason we haven’t yet moved. We’re still living here, slowly finding fellow wanderers like ourselves. We’re growing in number and we’re trying to find ways to rally and encourage each other while living actual life, not some evangelical prescription for “life.” All of us in that funny wandering space haven’t totally given up on our friends and loved ones. We’re all just trying to hold on a little longer and hopefully be a soft landing space for anyone else who is ready to leave, no matter how few.

Hang in there, friends.