u/Prudent-Wishbone-780

Hello, all! I have always wanted to do RAGBRAI but always found convenient excuses not to. This year I decided to stop waiting for the perfect time and sign up. My partner has been EXTREMELY supportive of me doing this and he has been very encouraging, but I am getting nervous the more I realize I'm a woman doing this alone. (Partner cannot join me because of work commitments that were set up before)

I have been training, riding for long stretches, and hitting my electrolytes. Last night I hit a wall of anxiety. I'm hoping that if I get a few questions answered (and maybe a touch of encouragement) I'll believe in myself again.

1. I'm doing this alone. Is this not a great idea for the first year? I have two friends doing different days later in the week, but the rest I'll be solo. This has caused a bit of anxiety for me.

2. I can comfortably ride 20-30 miles, but I know I need to really hit hills for the remainder of time. Any advice about pacing climbs or how to get through them or positioning for your body is VERY welcome. So.eone recommended I get off the saddle and stand while pedaling and I'm really struggling with that so far.

3. I'm going to get dropped off at expo by my partner. Does RAGBRAI take your bag the next morning then?

4. beating the heat while riding? I've been told that there are plenty of vendors to stop at while riding and you're not just stuck on the road for long stretches. Do you find this to be true? Any advice for not overheating very much appreciated!

Truly, any advice to an anxious newbie I'd be very grateful for. I've always been a casual bike rider, and now that it's approaching I'm getting nervous I'm too green to have made this commitment.

I have no idea what I am doing wrong, but every pair of cycling shorts I have the same issue. The padding folds inward like a collapse in the crotch area and it makes a cameltoe appearance. It looks terrible and embarrassing.

Different brands, even different sizes! I never notice this with other people! Does anyone have advice??? Suggestions for better shorts?

I didn't want this. I don't understand how the charming man that I met in college isn't going to grow old alongside me. I hate that looking back at this situation, I realize I'm being the bitter ex-wife.

We were together 24 years. 3 beautiful children. We separated 2 years ago, divorce finished last year. We have coparented so well. Every holiday and occasion all together. Clear communication. I knew he was seeing someone, I didn't assume it was getting serious. Until his girlfriend who is 15 years younger than I am moved into the house WE used to call home.

I knew she had met the kids. He asked me to sign off on it before it happened. I didn't realize he wouldn't ask if I'd be comfortable with the kids living with a different woman 50% of their lives. This is the home we picked out together. Our "adult" home they we were so proud of. I picked the wall color.

Our son forgot something at my exes house. I messaged my ex and he said he was fine if I let myself in to grab the item. There were over ripened bananas on the counter. Typically, my daughter would bring these back to my house for me to bake banana muffins with. I wasn't thinking and I took the bananas.

Later I get a text, "Marjorie had bananas on the counter, they aren't there. Did you pick them up by chance?" Without thinking, I sent him a photo of the muffins in the oven and said "baking muffins for Ramona." He spouted off that Marjorie has a micro-bakery and someone had ordered a banana cake. She actually had to get these from the neighborhood Facebook group and pay for them"

I reached out to her directly and apologized, I offered her my banana bread recipe that takes banana pudding rather than actual banana and she was polite but... A hint of irritated. She said she understands it was a misstep, but she still needs ripened bananas today. I messaged my ex again to let him know I reached out to her and he is persistent that they need replaced.

I feel like my nose is being rubbed in my mistake. I feel embarrassed. I reacted poorly to this and weaponized our daughter. I said to him that baking muffins for her is more important to me than pleasing his new girlfriend.

I have plenty of friends who are divorced and their ex has girlfriends. These girls want the ex wives/mother of the children's approval so badly! She could not care less about how I feel regarding her. She doesn't care to impress me or have a relationship with me.

This isn't how my life was supposed to look at 44. .