u/PsychologicalGolf866

Hello Reddit, I am a 30F and I am seriously thinking about moving out of London. It’s just to expensive to rent/buy and as a NHS worker I think my money would stretch a lot longer outside of this city. I love London for its diversity and inclusivity. I have lived outside of London before (Kent Medway ) for university. My fear is that I am a WOC and I do not want to end up in a place where it is racist. When looking for answers on Reddit about this it’s most people who are not minorities saying ‘England isn’t racist’ ‘I’ve never seen anything’ but aren’t people of colour so of course you won’t experience it first hand or see it. I think a lot of English people can be very dismissive of what people of colour go through because they themselves have never experience racism within their own space.

Anyways, England is an amazing country to live in. I’ve lived here all my life and I was born here. It is more tolerant than most countries ie Italy and Spain etc. however, there are certain cities I do want to avoid. My brother was hate crimes in Staffordshire. They called him racial slurs and threw things at him. I have had my own issues within Kent also.

So, for those who can comment and not just ‘oh as long as you’re nice people are nice bs’ please tell me what would be the best city to move to which is not only inclusive of race but sexuality and all other forms of living. I would like a city that is pretty liberal and has a young ish scene.

I would want to move to somewhere with affordable rent and good job opportunities and decent transport if possible. I’ve heard Leicester, Manchester, Leeds and Bristol are all good plus Brighton. But if you have more suggestions and experiences that would be lovely.

Hi I am a 31F with a 28M friend, we meet last year autumn and hit it off great. Started spending loads of time together, he was so emotionally in tune with me and visa versa. We would have deep emotional chats and share a lot about ourselves. I met him at a social, I thought he was cute and went up to him. We exchanged numbers and began chatting. However, I think he did not find me as attractive due to him saying he finds that tall women make him feel small ( I am 5 foot 10 with curves). Although I was unsure about the physical connection we are definitely emotionally in tune.

We threw a BBQ together and recently just got back from a holiday together. Before the holiday I thought I should make the love, he lacks major confidence when making the moves to women and never does this. He had said sweet things to me like “when I’m with you I don’t feel like talking to other women” and I “captivated by everything you say” sometimes I catch him staring at me etc and even suggesting the holiday I thought it was all signs to potentially develop something more.

For context he got out of a toxic relationship also last year and has just being doing casual hookups. I asked him how he feels about me and he said I am lovely and went are great friends. However, when I brought up being more than friends he has never seen me in that way and is not attracted to me.

While we were on holiday at the beach, he allowed me to read his diary in which I saw details of the lady he’s been seeing it was quiet sexual and sensual but when he wrote about me it was in a friendship way. He also wrote how I am taking being rejected hard and he has no interwar in me romantically
Or sexually. Since I invited him to sleep in the same bed as me on holiday the night prior. I asked him why is he not attracted to me and he said he likes petite women. I was heartbroken honestly it felt like a knife went through me. He’s such a nice guy like literally never met a guy some sweet and empathetic.

I’m really upset that this would never pass friendship stage as I know he as no physical attraction to me. I wish he was able to see past that and give me a chance but obviously that’s important.

Has anyone ever been in this situation? How did you deal with it and get over it? I know it’ll take time and I obviously cannot be as close as I am with him which is fine.