u/Ptarmignan

Maybe I’ve just had bad luck with the straight women I’ve dated, but I (31m, queer, trans guy) can’t help but notice some fundamental differences between when I’ve dated straight women vs queer women. To the point that I don’t think I can date straight women anymore.

Notably, the straight women I’ve dated have been very passive in the sense that they will not initiate physical contact, give compliments, and will barely touch me when we’re being intimate (which makes the sex feel like I’m using their body which is a big turn off). The expectation seems to be that the focus should be on them with little reciprocity and little concern for whether I feel wanted or desired. It feels very one-sided, like I should be doing all of the pursuing. It makes me feel like shit, to be honest. I genuinely don’t know if, again, I’ve just had bad luck or if this truly is the expectation.

With the queer women I’ve dated, it’s been a night and day difference. They’ve been more engaged, more complimentary, open to initiating touch without being prompted, and more reciprocal and touchy during sex (which feels more like we’re doing this TOGETHER). It feels like the relationship is more 50/50 and that there’s a higher expectation of both of us putting in effort.

I’m curious about other people’s experiences between these two communities, and I’d love to hear more insight around what women expect their relationships and the energy in them to look like. Again, I have a small pool of people I’m drawing experiences from and I don’t want to generalize either community, but the difference has just seems stark to me.

I originally posted this in the askdocs subreddit but someone suggested I post it here since folks might have more insight.

Some background: I’m a trans man in his early 30’s, I started hormones at 17, was diagnosed with PCOS around 18/19, and had a total hysterectomy and oophorectpmy at 21 since it was required prior to lower surgery. Since then I’ve been wondering and asking my providers about this with no clear response.

I’m primarily curious about issues like PCOS’s impact on metabolism as I still struggle extensively to lose weight despite being on a glp-1, tracking and eating minimal calories, exercising, etc. If I no longer have ovaries, and am on testosterone, can I still have PCOS and still be impacted by it?

I said this in a comment earlier but felt like it should be a post. I guess I’m hoping someone from Adopt Me will see this.

I deeply, deeply understand that they’re trying to do whatever they can to stop or cut down on the severe bot problem that’s also impacting the game. However, turning every single event into an unbelievable grind and making the price of pets through the roof is not the way to do it. If anything, it’s encouraging(!) people to use bots because it’s the only way they’ll be able to afford the pets, furniture, vehicles, etc. they want.

Trust me, I love Adopt Me and used to play the game for up to 12 hours a day (I know, not healthy), but since this change has happened I’ve all but stopped playing. I loved playing for long stretches of time because I wanted to, not because I had to, like the game has now become. It’s not fun anymore.

I don’t know what the solution to the bot issue is, but this absolutely isn’t it. Please stop this madness. And please remember that while there is a large base of adult players, the game is geared towards kids and expecting them to play for hours upon hours upon hours to maybe be able to make a neon isn’t okay. Why make quality of life improvements like reducing the time it takes to age pets and creating the pet pen, just to turn around and do this?