Day 17 on Lithium – Encouraged by some changes, but scared by the ups and downs.
Hi everyone,
I’m looking for some reassurance from people who have actually been through the first few weeks on lithium.
I’ve been taking lithium for about 17 days (currently around 1150 mg, therapeutic blood level around 0.5–0.6, recently increased slightly). I’m also taking quetiapine.
The last few months have been incredibly difficult with severe anxiety, depression and a lot of despair. My biggest wish is simply to get back to being a present father for my two daughters.
The confusing part is this:
A few days ago I had what was probably my best day in weeks. I made it through my first day back at work after three weeks of sick leave, spoke in a meeting with more than 30 people, even went to the gym, and in the evening I genuinely felt hopeful. It was an “orange day” in my mood tracker (a really good day for me).
Then today I had another dip.
Not a complete crash, but more anxiety, some derealization, sadness and the familiar fear:
“What if lithium isn’t working after all?”
At the same time, when I look at the bigger picture, I also notice some positive changes:
I haven’t had the same overwhelming despair that I had before starting lithium.
My emotions seem to be changing. Instead of constant panic, I’m actually grieving my divorce and missing my family, which somehow feels painful but more “real.”
I’ve even had brief moments where I genuinely felt connected to my children again.
I seem to be functioning a little better overall, even if I still have difficult waves.
So my question is:
Did anyone else experience these kinds of waves during the first few weeks of lithium?
Did you have good days followed by disappointing dips before things gradually became more stable?
I’m not looking for false reassurance—I know everyone is different. I’d just really like to hear real experiences from people who remember what the beginning was like.
Thank you. I really appreciate this community.