u/Putrid_Egg5442

Who agrees?

My MIL is one of the nicest, most genuine, easygoing people I know. I recently had a baby girl, and she’s been incredibly helpful with her. I’m honestly so grateful for her, she really is a kind person.

But there have been a few situations that have been hard to navigate. When something comes up and my husband tries to gently say something, she gets extremely offended and upset.

For example, she was watching the baby once and gave her cardboard. Our baby ended up ingesting it and later pooped out a bunch of it. We didn’t say anything the first time, but then it happened again, so my husband brought it up. He was very calm about it and just said something like “hey, be careful, that’s a choking hazard.” At first she denied giving it to her, and said the baby must have gotten it herself, but she was only about 5.5 months.

Later we found out she had given it to her while holding her but was distracted and didn’t realize she was chewing it. We also found chewed pieces around the living room. When my husband tried to talk to her about it, she got extremely offended, handed the baby back, and stormed off to her room for the rest of the night (this was during Easter dinner).

Another example is that she constantly puts videos on her phone or laptop for the baby. My husband once lightly said “hey, no screens for the baby” in a gentle, joking way, just to start setting that boundary. It seems like whenever she holds her, she almost immediately turns on a screen. I understand needing a break sometimes, but she’s never expected to watch her. This is when she wants to spend time with her. It just feels excessive, especially since the baby is only 7 months old.

Again, when my husband said something, she got offended, handed the baby back, and walked away like she didn’t want to hold her anymore. That part honestly feels hurtful too.

I’m mostly venting, but I’m also struggling with how to handle this. This behavior is so unexpected from her. It’s hard because my husband loves his mom and his daughter so much, and this puts him in a really difficult position. For me, it feels disrespectful and like we can’t express our parenting choices or boundaries without a big emotional reaction.

How do you set boundaries with someone who is otherwise kind and helpful, but reacts like this when corrected?