My Gf [21F] got mad at me [24F] for asking for a game, advice on how to approach the situation ?
ok, so basically I wanted to get someone’s opinion on if i’m overreacting or if i’m valid in being upset about the principle of the situation. i’m also open to advice on how to bring this up if anyone thinks i should.
this kinda starts with the fact that gta 6 is coming out in november (which ive been raving about for years—probably annoyingly) and i grew up playing the gta 5 since i was a preteen. so, as one can maybe tell, im a little bit overexcited. i don’t usually buy new things or things for myself but im really excited about this and have been waiting for pre orders to come out. my girlfriend is aware that i play video games, but im not a hardcore gamer (i maybe play once or twice a week).
i saw this trend on tik tok that was like “buying my gf/bf gta 6” and i thought it was cute, so as one does, i sent it and a few similar videos to my girlfriend as mostly a joke (i didn’t take it that seriously). so the other day she texts me and tells me that it has been annoying to receive gta 6 tik toks. i said sorry i didn’t mean to annoy her and asked why. she said she’s not buying me it and feels like ive annoyed her by asking so much (i think i only directly asked her once but i may be wrong about this). she also said she doesn’t want to feel obligated to buy me anything and that it’s no longer a surprise if she does it. i emphasized that in no way did i ever expect her to buy it and she should NOT feel obligated, as it’s near $100.
she then continued on by saying that she just bought me an anniversary gift and says i’m not grateful for that at all. this made me feel really bad bc i thought i showed how grateful i was for that (as it was a really cool gift). however, i do want to note that we both decided that for our anniversary we would not do gifts at all and she decided out of the blue to do so, not leaving me enough time to get her something equally as cool. most of the things she does get me throughout the year (christmas, anniversary, etc.) are things she assumes i’d like or kinda only things i like that she approves upon (or known things about me). i’m not sure if that makes sense, but again, i want to emphasize that i am in no way ungrateful for anything she’s given me. her love language is gift giving so she kinda takes it upon herself to give stuff she THINKS id like.
i’m not a huge asker of things i want, as i said before, i don’t really need anything so i don’t usually ask for anything. i’m a pretty frugal person, except when it comes to her lol so i usually get her whatever she wants or asks for (unless super unreasonable). she, on the other hand, is a big buyer. she loves to shop but is generally ok with money otherwise. she is still in undergrad and gets pretty much everything paid for by her parents (car, rent, gas, insurance, food, etc.) so she doesn’t really need money besides for fun purchases. i have a great job right now, which i’m thankful for, but this fall i’ll be going back to law school, so i’m trying to save up best i can and not run my credit cards up.
here’s where my previous ramblings kinda connect lol. so when she started getting defensive ish about the game she said that she’s trying to save for school, which i did not fight so i just said ok and kinda accepted that. then she said it’s giving broke boyfriend if she bought it for me. i just feel like it’s kinda condescending and out of touch given my situation vs. hers. not that i expect her to buy me anything! but, just wanted to add that for context.
TLDR: i just feel like this is NOT a big deal in the long run, which is why i did not bring it up at all and just apologized to her and dropped it and let her kinda just argue with me. however, i think there’s the principle of like i wanna feel safe asking my gf for big things and i think if she didn’t wanna buy me that it’s perfectly fine but i wish she would’ve just said “im sorry i think financially it’s just not gonna work right now but maybe in the future” or idk. im just looking for others opinions and advice on what kinda convo to have about this if its worth it. things li