we usually do monthly/bi-monthly market orders but we always need more eggs in between.
are there any farm stands that sell chicken eggs that I can just go to at my convenience?
Let me preface this by saying that this is solely a "me"-problem.
EDITING TO ADD: I have been diagnosed with pure OCD (amongst CPTSD and anxiety) so rumination and irrational thoughts love to hang around in my head.
We've been together for 6 years and we've got a solid dynamic overall when it comes to responsbilities - whether it be household chores, cooking, tending to the dogs, grocery shopping, car maintenance, etc. It's all pretty balanced and I'd like to think we're both happy with the arrangements.
Here's the problem... anytime I need "extra" help from him, or need him to pick up my slack, I insist on paying him. As if he's hired labor and not a partner.
For example: my dog has special needs and one of us needs to go home during the work day to give him medication and let him outside. We both equal distance from home (I'm like 5 mins further) so I take Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and he takes Tuesday and Thursday. There are some days I get swamped at work or have an errand to run and he'll take that day on, but I cannot sit with myself if I don't pay him or at least buy his lunch.
I pay him to change my oil, I pay him to do my Amazon returns I don't want to do, etc.
But if I DON'T pay him, I don't feel good about myself. I feel endlessly indebted and like I need to kick my own ass into gear and make it up to him in other areas.
I know it makes him feel some type of way because he'll resist and resist and then I get frustrated and will say things like "I'll just find time to do it myself" or something, basically giving him an ultimatum to either accept my payment or I won't accept his help. He eventually just accepts. He says things like "you don't need to pay me, I'm your boyfriend" and I feel like I make him feel like a paid-assistant rather than a life-partner in these situations.\
Not that it matters, but I am very financially stable & earn significantly more than he does (although we both contribute equally to shared expenses) . So it's not like I'm going broke paying him or anything.
As I'm typing this I'm realizing more and more that this probably more-so an internal issue vs a relationship issue? But I'm curious on other perspectives.