I think my bpd has ruined my birthday
Hey so I just turned 20 today and all month I have been agonizing my birthday because me and my boyfriend have trouble with money most the time. Well today came and I just felt not good, not bad just not good. So the day went on as planned figured I had $200 roughly to spend and was ok, still not good but trying really hard. We get to the store to pull out the money that I thought was mostly for me to just spend, until he reminded me I had been promising a razor. It felt like the world crashed when he said that, but I didn’t want to ruin the day so I held it in I wound up slamming the car door and my mood had shifted yet I was still trying. We get the money and start heading the the razors and we got in a bit of an argument because he said we should just get a men’s and I was set on an electric women’s razor. I gave up and we got the stuff spent a little bit of more time then I wanted but it was whatever. So we are walking through the store and he is basically just talking about my behavior and his fear for the day and I’m not sure why but this upset me bad, so I told him to just leave me alone and I went and walked down a separate isle. We regroup and I can sense he is still tense more likely from not feeling heard but I just want to go so we start heading out. He tries to talk again in the car things just go he keeps trying to just feel heard while I’m trying to fight all the thoughts in my head. We get gas I’m crying bad and he’s still trying to get his feelings and fears heard I end up saying I want to just go home, but he doesn’t so I tell him go home or I’m going to just call the cops and leave he try’s to take the phone out of my hand but I won’t let go, so I end up in the driver seat with him and I ended up breaking his tooth things simmer on his end but I’m still set on leaving, we get to the house and a full fight breaks out we are yelling and screaming door gets broken and things are just bad, I had and kinda still do feel like me shaving was more important to him then my birthday and that the reason he didn’t get me a present was also cause it’s not important to him. I make the primary income so I felt very untitled to do what I want and get what I want. I feel I should also say he has a severe tbi as well as bipolar and cptsd. I feel at such a loss idk if I should pack my stuff or wait for him to get back from the emergency dentist, any advice helps I will be honest I feel so unremarkably horrible but on the same hand I don’t feel like I should stay here. Thank you if you have read this far I hope you have a wonderful day/night/evening