yeah what it says.
Idk why, but whenever I’m meeting someone new or even just causally speaking to someone I’ll never see again - I lie. About things that don’t even matter.
Given the context of most of them, I think I’m trying to impress them so they like me??
Either way, it makes me feel icky & I’d like to stop. Any advice would be appreciated.
i am so tired of people acting like exercise is a permanent solution to chronic major depression and anxiety or really to any form or depression and anxiety since multiple types exist for both or um it’s like a way to manage bpd as well
Do I feel physically better after loosing some weight, at least walking every day, and hell even reducing my binge eating sugary things by having at least a bit more balance to my eating habits? Yea, I do. I know the research exists that working out releases like dopamine and stuff and that’s like a very simplified explanation of why mental health professionals recommend it so much . I understand that part now and why my therapist in college kept talking about it now.
Sure, I can agree with that. However, I am sick and tired of people on social media and irl like my damn brother for example acting like you can out-exercise your trauma? Like it’s a one size fits all permanent solution?
I am 21 and still actively mentally living with the burdens of my trauma that made me develop depression, anxiety and borderline personality disorder in the first place since I was a child. I couldn’t even get an official diagnosis until college because I come from a fucked up Indian family that doesn’t believe in mental health.
I am just so tired like I’m sorry the second I have a job again and I can afford to resume therapy and meds again is the only time I will probably learn how to permanently help myself mentally
Like my dark thoughts are always in my brain I may just not think about it during my 30 mins of sunlight in the morning or my one hour walk in the evening but they creep back to the forefront rather quickly when I’m done with either of those activities
He didn’t touch me. He did threaten me and break things. It was scary and he was out of control so I called 911. They told me they were taking him to the hospital and would involuntarily commit him. Instead, he’s been in jail for more than 3 weeks with no bond set. He can’t contact me. The only news I have is that he’s been on suicide watch and the lawyer told me all he would say is that he’s terrified I’ll leave. I just don’t know what to do.
I was wondering if anyone could maybe give me some ideas on things I could do when I feel the urge to self harm so that I can catch myself and intercept before I reach the point of no return? Self harm usually comes with feeling pain or sadness. I do it to release hurt.
Did I think I’d ever make it here? Nope. And I’m exhausted. Tired of struggling, tired of feeling like this, tired of it all. And the universe is sending me hit after hit. I get back up and immediately get knocked back down. My best friend, watching it all happen… “why can’t you catch a break?” I wish I freaking knew.
My kids asked me today if they are part of the reason I’m still here. The 14 year old asked me. I said yes and no. Yes, because I love them so much and they are awesome kids. No because if I leave, they still have their dads and step moms. They are taken care of.
Idk the point of this post. Making it to 40 is possible? I’m still miserable though.