u/Queefems

I'm really trying to get Krieg to UVHM asap but it's been sort of slow going.. not as bad as Zero but definitely way slower progression than Sal or Maya. I'm running mania tree with a grog, a herald, a shock ladyfist and a corrosive teapot currently. Level 38, my next MSQ is the Hyperion preserve. I'm in the process of farming a rough rider shield from the hammerlock dlc seeing as I have like 4 levels to go before I'm on-level for bloodwing. I know that will fall off eventually but I figured it would help for a while. Any skills or gear I should go for in particular? Maybe a good rocket launcher or something? Would an orphan maker be good? Also I wanted to ask about light the fuse, I fucking hate it. Makes it 10x harder to get second winds in tvhm. Does it eventually become worth it? Also would I have better luck speccing into bloodlust or hellborn till uvhm? I do enjoy the mania play style quite a bit, although I die a lot from hitting myself in the face while rampaging in RTB. Any tips for that? I feel like silence the voices is too big a buff to pass up.

My wife and I are 36 and 35. Our identical twin daughters turned 3 recently. We both work and it's been really hard. We've been together since we were 19, and been married ten years. When we got married neither one of us wanted kids, and were very much on the same page about it. When she hit her late 20's she started to talk about wanting them, and before I knew it she was begging me and simply telling me she had to have a child. I would tell her point blank that I wasn't ready and felt completely emotionally unequipped to have children. I knew it was WAY more responsibility than I could handle with my various issues, bad childhood etc.. NO part of me wanted to do it. But anytime I was honest with her about it she would break down crying and we'd fight, then I would be depressed because I was starting to sense that if I didn't give her what she wanted she would end up divorcing me or at least resenting me. I oscillated between feeling selfish and feeling like she was being selfish for trying to pressure me into it, an endeavor in which she was eventually successful. I consulted friends, even my boss, most people were just like "yea, that's her biological clock, give her a kid or your marriage is done". So after 2 years of fighting and worrying about our relationship I VERY reluctantly conceded to having a child, and I didn't feel comfortable with it at all. Then, for another 2 years we tried. Although I lied about taking any supplements she gave me to increase fertility, and I secretly hoped that I was shooting blanks after a while. Then she got pregnant with twins, and my life has obviously not been my own ever since. Additionally my wife has become religious in the past few years (I am not) and there has been practically zero intimacy in our marriage since they were born. She is pretty much completely asexual these days. I am not. Any mention of it and she just shrugs and apologizes about it. If I tell her how overwhelmed I am taking care of kids all the time and never getting a break, she just tells me to appreciate what I have and tells me "life could be a lot worse, you've got two beautiful daughters". Which is very true, I love them so much and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I knew I'd love them, that wasn't the issue. I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle the stress of parenting, which is also true. I am losing my shit all the time. I've been in therapy, and it's the only place for me to vent my frustrations, my wife gets furious if I bring up the fact that I didn't want children. My issue is resentment. I wish I could just go with the flow and appreciate my kids, they are hilarious and adorable, but I'm incredibly pissed off and don't know where to put that anger. My wife has no idea how pissed off I am all the time, denial is a river in Egypt I suppose. She gets frustrated with how stressed I am all the time and says it stresses her out that she has to deal with a husband who is freaking out all the time in addition to the girls. So in addition to having sacrificed my life and signing on for an 18+ year long contract of indentured servitude and absolutely ceaseless obligations and responsibilities, she makes me feel guilty all the time on top of exhausted. She doesn't seem to understand how different parenting is when it wasn't what you initially wanted. I can't leave, i'd miss them too much.. but I am extremely frustrated with my wife and I don't know what to do.. a divorce would be a catastrophic thing, we need each other's help with the girls. I feel like I just need to hang in there and be there for my kids and when they get older we'll either split or work it out but idk man this is a fuckin mess and I'm seriously miserable. The shittiest part is that I agreed to this out of fear of losing her, and I feel like I lost her anyway. My soul mate is now my cell mate. Any advice would be appreciated, but particularly from parents who didn't initially want kids I'd love to hear those perspectives. Cause it's different. I asked my mother if she ever felt trapped when I was little and she said "oh God, no, it was what I wanted". That's the difference, this life feels like an absolute prison to me. Maybe I'm selfish but that's the honest truth and unfortunate fact of the matter