u/QueenAsh47

Im 4 weeks and 1 day. I ovulated July 31st at 11 pm. Had the classic uterus cramping with right side pain. (My usual ovulation pain) I implanted at 10 dpo. I had the cramps and spotting that was very light. Then at 12 dpo at night I finally got a line. The line has gotten darker but at 16 dpo it's still lighter than the control line. 5 days ago I had spotting all day. It went away completely. Then yesterday I had a sharp heartbeat pain for maybe 3 minutes on my left side where the meat is above the gentials. (Low pelvic area) It's odd to me since that's not the side I felt ovulation pain at. It was the opposite side. Well I started spotting very light 2 hours later. 2 times there was a very time bit of red but then went back to very light. Then all night and most of the day no spotting. I started spotting today again at 2 pm. It's 2:33 pm. I had very high cramps where it feels like my stomach is cramping but no low pain anywhere. Yesterday was the first and only time I felt pain in this whole endeavor. Could this be ectopic?

So, I have been highly thinking about a 4th baby. The problem is my anxiety though. My past 3 births have all been 2nd degree tears of some degree. My first being the worst but by second and third not as bad. I have a lot of scar tissue in that area and I'm scared it could lead to a worse tear. I know my tract record isn't completely terrible but what if a 4th birth could be that limit and make the tear worse? I need stories from others. Am I pushing it? Or will it follow the path of scar tissue? Also, I've heard of tearing up but if it never happened to me, what would be my chances? Birth terrifies me in so many ways even after 3 births. I just don't feel done with 3. Something is telling me that a 4th is perfect.

So last year in February he confessed to porn usage for almost 2 years. He felt I was cheating on him and didn't really like him which eventually made him go to porn. He wasn't used to speaking his thoughts so resentment built up. Everything was good after he confessed. He only got stuck a minute twice looking at women and was open about it. He ended up distracting himself from it.

Well in August he said the thought creeped back up. (We were also going through a miscarriage but he claimed he doesn't think that's the reason) He kept quiet about it because he thought it would start us from scratch if he said women were catching his attention. (He didn't tell me until March 27th, 2026) I caught him doing things to porn on camera on January 21st and confronted him. He claims it was because I never gave him bjs much anymore and that is what he watched.

He was great for 2 weeks until I started showing him lingerie I wanted. I guess the pictures and videos got to him and he started secretly watching them. He got caught doing things to porn 2 more times. March 23rd and March 26th. He finally told me March 27th that he had a problem and didn't want to mention it because he thought it would just go away. Also note that we were doing it twice daily or more since his first confession last year. After Jan 21st happened, that increased to around 3 to 4 times and giving him exactly what he wanted. He still felt the need to look at women.

He masturbated a totally of 4 times, 1 of the times I never caught him because it was away from the camera. He claims this is the truth and I have to just believe him because what else can I do. I have to trust he's finally being open and honest with me. He tells me when he's struggling and when he has issues with me now which is something he didn't like doing before. I'm thankful for that. It is hard to believe him now but I still have faith for him. He's cut phones out of the equation now until he feels he can be around them again.

Anyone know how to figure out the root problem that caused this? Or can it just come from nowhere? I'm trying to also be open completely to him and I never judge him. I want him to become better and not be stuck objectifying other women. I know how harmful this stuff can be to the brain.