I Think I Like an Autistic Guy at My Gym—How Should I Approach Him?
I could really use some advice from autistic adults, especially autistic men.
I’m a behavior technician, so I work with autistic children, but I know autism in adults can look very different. There’s a guy at my gym who I suspect might be autistic based on some of his mannerisms, but I also know I could be completely wrong. I’m not trying to diagnose him—I just don’t want to communicate in a way that makes him uncomfortable if he is autistic.
We’ve never actually talked, but we’ve made eye contact quite a few times over the past several weeks. One time my friend even noticed him looking at me before he quickly looked away. Other than that, it’s just been repeated eye contact and seeing each other regularly at the gym.
I think he’s really cute and I’d like to introduce myself, but I’m nervous about coming across as weird or making him uncomfortable. I’ve heard people say autistic men often appreciate direct communication, but I don’t know what “direct” actually looks like in a situation like this.
If you were in his position, how would you want someone to approach you? What would make you feel comfortable? Is introducing myself and saying something like, “Hey, I always see you here and realized we’ve never met. I’m Tamara,” a good approach, or would you prefer something different?
I’d especially appreciate hearing from autistic men about what would make an interaction like this feel natural versus overwhelming