u/Quirky_Bug_5621

Hi! Ive always wanted to share this story and thought Id ask reddit!

Years ago, when I was still married to my ex husband, we had just finished a day of helping my parents move into their new home. Clearly, we were exhausted and decided stayed the night in their upstairs bonus room.
*info: this is not an older home. But the tiny town the new home was built in is older. Think founded in early 1800s
My ex always was prone to sleep paralysis episodes. Like maybe 1-2 a month. So often he pretty much was unaffected by them.
Well that night, I remember falling asleep and it almost felt like I was having an out of body experience. I dreamt that I was awake, and I was staring at the foot of the bed. What I saw was the image of a golden figure surrounded by light. It was probably the most beautiful image I’ve ever seen. It didn’t say anything. It just stared at me and smiled. I wasn’t afraid at all actually. I felt surprisingly comforted. For some reason, it reminded me of my grandmother and I felt safe. The only thing I remember this figure doing was almost touching my feet or my lower legs in a comforting/caressing manner. Again like a maternal figure would do to a child who was scared. And that was it. I woke up.
The next morning, when I woke up, I saw my ex-husband was visibly terrified. I’ve never seen him look this scared in my life. When I asked what was wrong, he described that he had probably the worst sleep paralysis episode in his life.
He described a scene a dark figure standing at the end of the bed. Completely head to toe in pitch black with deep black eyes and a monstrous smile with large teeth. He said that the figure was scratching at his feet or lower legs. That the figure would punch him and not say anything. And his dream ended with the figure crawling up his body and smiling in his face and mouthing the words “id wake up if I were you”and then he woke up panicking and crying only to find me peacefully sleeping with a “little smile on my face.”
When he told me this, I was shaken, and I didn’t know how to interpret it. I dont know why, but I never told him about my dream. Something in the back of my head told me to keep it to myself. This was probably the oddest encounter I have ever had. At this point in time I had never had any paranormal experiences in my life. This was a first.

When I told coworkers and friends about this, all of them feel that it was some form of omen. My ex-husband would later turn into a very cruel man. He became mean, manipulative and abusive (story for another day) and we would divorce years later. Im still not sure what this could have meant. I like think someone was protecting me?

TW: pregnancy loss and manipulation

This is my first time posting on Reddit so I’m sorry for the very long post. All real names are changed for privacy.

I (27 F) am not sure what to do about my friendship with my friend Faith (29 F) after what feels like a major betrayal…
Throughout the post I also want to put a disclaimer that I in no way feel like a completely innocent party in this. I understand I am human and I acted in what I felt was the best way at the time. But in hindsight I would change many things that I both said and did.
In 2024 I filed for a divorce from my ex husband. It was a long time coming and my best friend Faith and her husband Max (33 M), who happens to also be my family member, helped me through a lot of the struggles. I want to also bring up the point that Max and I were never close. It wasn’t until Faith and I became friends that he and I hung out and started talking more.
Also another disclosure, Max travels a lot for work. So he would be gone from 1 week to 1 month at a time for his line of work.
At the time of my filing, Faith was 2-3 months postpartum and a new mom. we really worked to help each other through this tough new season together. I knew that Faith and Max were struggling with many things. Money was tight, new baby, and tensions were high.
Before she got pregnant that Max had mentioned he didn’t want kids anymore. After his mother passed he became distant. He was struggling to find peace in a world where she was no longer present. Faith was distraught. She desperately wanted to be a mother. I watched her wrestle with this news for months and struggled with the reality that kids may not be on the table. They fought a lot and I often questioned if they would stay together over this.
Well in 2023 she became pregnant and had her baby by August of 2024. I remember her being not far into postpartum that I urged her to be careful because her chances of getting pregnant again were high after just having a baby. She expressed that they were extremely careful and that would not be happening anytime soon.
Fast forward to November 2024, She called me one day crying. She told me how she had just found out she was pregnant again this past week and she didn’t tell me because she wanted Max to know first, but they got into a huge fight and the next day she had a miscarriage while at work… I heard the news and was heartbroken for her. Max was now out of town so I went to see her and talk it out with her. She didn’t share many details but I could tell this entire situation rattled her and I at least wanted to make her feel safe and not alone. At the time that was the last I heard of the matter. While I was there she vented and would mention how she would ask him to help out more around the house and the baby, how she felt alone a lot when he traveled and she was often bringing work home with a newborn and felt like she was drowning.

June 2025: up until this point everything seemed normal. Until I get a random call from Faith one day, which is not unusual for her seeing that we called multiple times a week to check in. When i picked up the phone she was crying. She immediately started talking about how she wanted to leave Max… I was taken aback. Nothing had been mentioned about any more fighting. I remembered she had talked to him about being more involved and present. I remember she even asked him to give up travel jobs to stay home because she wanted him home more.
When I asked her about these scenarios she would say that nothing has improved and that she was at her wits end.
My initial gut reaction was to tell her to leave if she wasn’t happy… but then I paused. I urged her to consider counseling just to talk to an impartial party about her feelings and concerns. I made sure to tell her this was a complicated stance for me. She may be my best friend but he is also my family member. She said she would look into it. I told her, “as your friend, I am asking you to take time. Think on this. Pray on it. If this is what you want and what is best for you and your baby, then I cant stop you. But I am saying this because I just went through a divorce… it is hard and I don’t want you to make an rash decisions.” She agreed understood what I was trying to say.

Early July 2025: Once again I get a random call from Faith. And this time shes packing her bags, tears in her eyes, and she is leaving now that Max is out of town. She disabled the house cameras. Hes calling her constantly. Im trying to calm her down and talk her through this but shes just going full speed and barely slowing her speech. So I let her vent. And wow…. Did I get more details about what happened in November of 2024

Everything I say next is ALLEGED because this is only from her words.
She said when she found out she was pregnant in November 2024, Max was not happy. So angry in fact that he shouted “WE ARE FUCKED!” And he threw money at her. He told her that she was getting an abortion. She disagreed and said that was absolutely not happening. She told me that he said “even if I have to drag you into my car to the clinic myself, you are getting an abortion.” They continued to fight. She had a miscarriage at work the next day.
When I heard this I was disgusted and distraught…. I wasnt handling this news well. And I was angry for her. I told her if she was unsafe/unhappy then she needed to leave… So she went to her mothers house and took the baby with her….
Max begins blowing up my phone now. Telling me “You are the only one who can get through to her. You are the only person she will listen to. You have to help me. You have to help me save my marriage! I cant have another failed marriage (Faith is his second). You cant let her take my baby. Stop helping her with the baby. Thats my job”
I said “max, I understand there is a lot of confusion and hurt right now… I know how it feels. I just went through a divorce. I know that pain.”
He responded , “dont compare me to your shitty ex husband. You got me so angry right now I need to go punch something.”
And while i agreed he was a piece of shit… that was uncalled for. So i ended the call and left it at that.

Middle July 2025: im skipping over a large amount of back and forth fighting but essentially, Faith was separated from Max. Literally completely unprovoked, one day Faith mentioned talking to her ex fiancé Grayson again…. Im… confused? She said they had been talking for a little bit and catching up. And I asked if this was strictly platonic if there was something I should know. She said “yes. Platonic…In a way.”
I told her to be careful. I wasnt comfortable with any of this and that I felt it was a bit soon after leaving Max to start talking to someone else. She said that nothing was going to happen. She later confessed that she never lost feelings for grayson and that she felt that she still loved him. I heard her out And while I was still not sure or comfortable, i told her she was a grown woman and if she wanted to make her own choices she could. But I specifically told her, “do not jump into another relationship not even a month after leaving your husband, dont sleep with him, and the BIGGEST ONE, do NOT bring your baby around this man. That is not her father and she needs stability. Plus you havent spoken to this man in years.”
She agreed and promised she wouldn’t do anything like that
2 days later: she texted me saying she slept over at grayson’s and brought the baby with her… I was livid.
She later goes on to sleep over at this place every week. Ghosting max. Going through with divorce lawyers. Leaving Max with little to no contact with the baby.

Late Aug/early Sept 2025: Faith calls crying again… she is now regretting leaving Max…. Shes beside herself and doesn’t know what to do. I told her id talk her through it again, but deep down, im beginning to feel annoyed and honestly not sure what to think. Ive heard so much bad about Max, and now you want me to support you going back to him? Im getting whiplash. She came over to my place on a night im on call for work and she brings her baby. She spills everything. How she had been talking to Grayson back in June of 2025 before even leaving Max and how she felt like the attention she got from Grayson was what she wanted from Max the entire time and she actually missed Max. Shes crying. Hysterical. I asked her about all the things she had been telling me and her response was simply,” i may have exaggerated a lot of what I said about him to you,” and all I could be was …. Annoyed…. But I didn’t know what to believe. Was she telling me the truth? Was she manipulating me this entire time to get me to believe her…. i was fragile…. I just got out of a manipulative relationship where I was a shell of myself. Now this? Was she having a mental breakdown? Did she ever go to counseling like I told her??
I had to go to the bathroom and breathe for a second and when I walked out suddenly, me and the baby were alone… and where was faith? On my patio, on the phone With Max confessing EVERYTHING. Even her nights with Grayson. Shes on the phone with him for hours… and somehow I turned into a free babysitter and her baby is screaming nonstop. Im angrier and then I get a call… WORK?!? So i had to go interrupt their phone call and tell her I had to leave. She asked to stay at my house to talk to max and without thinking I blurted out “NO! I need to go to work and you need to go home and figure out what you want.”
I look back and Im mad at myself but its how I felt. And I was pissed and I genuinely wanted her out of my house because what the hell was going on? She wiped her tears and grabbed her baby and left and I went to work….
Later that week I sent a message saying that I would probably not be contacting them much for a while. I told them I would give them space to figure out what they need and that this was not a space I should be in.

Sept 2025: she calls me as im walking out if house to go to work to check on me. Shes acting like everything is normal. Like Nothing happened. She and Max were back together. They were in individual counseling and they were in couples counseling. Im still upset at the time. Later in the conversation shes being odd. Suddenly she mentions that I probably need to reach out to Max. When I asked what was going on, she said that max felt he needed an apology and that I was encouraging Faith to have an affair. That since I got a divorce then that must have made me want to push her to do it too so we could bond better and i pushed her to get pregnant again. i laughed and said that was ridiculous and she just sat there without saying anything. I asked her “well did you tell him I told you to think on it, to go to counseling, to not be impulsive, to pray on it, to not jump into another relationship or sleep with someone so quick, to not bring your baby around him? Did any of that come up at all?”
Her response, “i havent gotten around to it.”
I stood there broken and silent. Minutes went by and till nothing from her. My response “so you’re telling me… you are going to allow him to think that I encouraged you to do this…. You are going to allow me to be a scapegoat… That this is all MY FAULT?”
She just said, “ im not saying thattttt. But he feels that way, yes. Yall just need to talk”
I was now really pissed…. When I reached out to him it was the same thing. Blaming me… for all of it. He told me that he was setting boundaries with ME and he would reach out when HE was ready.

So I honored that. I stopped responding. To EVERYTHING. I stopped answering her calls. Her random “miss you”, “love you”, “how are you?”, and my personal favorite “i hope I can still be your maid of honor” texts. I wasnt sure how to respond to that.
It is currently aug 2026…. Its been a year. And im still mourning. That was my best friend and i feel like someone still hasnt pulled out the knife that was buried in my back… im not sure what to do. Thats my family member so I cant guarantee Ill never see them again.

Again sorry for the long postand again im not excusing my own behavior and things i could have handled differently. I said a lot of stuff i probably shouldn’t have said. And hindsight says maybe she was suffering from some major postpartum depression which I know is a completely real thing. But part of me feels that some of this felt too calculated. So as for this friendship Idk if i can trust her again… that truly broke me.