Harley Davidson has build the S-Hitter 500, set to launch mid 2027, which they announce is hardly any more dangerous than a car. The solution? Stop adding explodium -- a new chemical which is found to form inside motorcycle crank cases due to clutch particles befouling it from the wet oily transmission.

It has not been proven yet exactly how the explodium makes riders crash, but possibly it impairs judgement or vision or just smells so bad that it subconsciously de-brains you. One discredited theory is that it coats the tyres and makes them slippery at in-opportune moments.

The new motorcycle will retail for $49,999 starter, plus $15.99 a month for a subscription to heated grips, muffler cromulence, 50% off McDonalds chicken nuggets and the rear brake.

In a partnership with ROG to put gamer lighting all over the ships, a test program has refit HMAS Vampire with dank lighting and a marijuana-burner in the engine room to use her engine as a 54,000 shaft horsepower bong.

Prime Minister Albo tried to visit the ship to promote the navy to young Australians. Fortunately, his car was successfully sabotaged by navy personnel before he could spread his "cringe" and "lame" energy onto the ship.

Newly appointed captain Markus Marconi says she will depart her mooring at Sydney in July to patrol for Somalian pirates, saying "we're not even going to shoot at them, let's see how a tin dinghy reacts when THIS comes ramming at it at 35 miles per hour. Free vapes to anybody who volunteers for the voyage before June 15".

A hoax has been going around due to pictures of the "Hotel Tirpitz", a hotel built into a replica of the Nazi battleship, which is so realistic that this photo has been claimed to be a historical photo of the real Tirpitz in WW2.

Who would believe that? Do they seriously think she was cosplaying a hotel to fool the British or something? Hotels are not stealthy, pretending to be a hotel on the high seas would just have given her away immediately. Correcting this kind of misinformation is why r/TrueFactzOnly was created.

The photo is actually of the Hotel Tirpitz, built in 2022 and opened this year to guests. Reportedly, to very good reviews, with Tirpitz rapidly becoming Narvik's second best acclaimed 5 star hotel. And, to give the floating hotel the proper weight, it has the armour of the historical ship. (Not the side armour, which is replaced with a normal wall with windows for the guest rooms, but the turtleback and deck armour has been doubled in thickness to compensate)

Because of the armour, the Norwegian railway has practiced running a special train to transport all the politicians up to Narvik rapidly to use Tirpitz (the hotel) as a bunker in case of nuclear war.

The expense of building a 43,000 ton floating hotel was justified "by the possibility of relocating easily", as one propellor shaft is operational, with a small engine. She can't sail nearly as fast as the real Tirpitz, but the hotel can make 15 knots. Work on the engines and navigational systems is expected to finish in 2030, when Tirpitz is expected to begin cruising the Norwegian coast again.

"The Lonely Queen of the North" is back, and now inviting guests.

(One gun turret is reportedly operational, as an anti-piracy measure for a potential tour near Somalia)

Inspired by the Florida bill 626, the Californian proposal looks more at the environmental cost of joy-rides, instead of the traffic and road wear implications. Newsom says he is considering including exemptions for electric vehicles and motorcycles with engines smaller than 250 cc, as these vehicles pollute much less.

Californian motorists might soon have to put an exemption sign on their vehicle if they want to drive aimlessly.

Transcript

Governor Newsom proposes bill to ban "aimless" driving, reduce vehicle emissions, after a ban passed in Florida.

The likely presidential contender plans to end "useless pollution" to end ecological instability. "Plus," said a Newsom aide, "we have driving simulators now. You don't need to pollute in real life."

All drivers are required by law to have a destination.

Edit: Guys please remember you are on r/TrueFactzOnly so please only post accurate information. Thanks!

This officially marked the end of colonialism, dated exactly the date that Mr. Turunen left the South Island.

Later, he would become an Australian tobacco farmer.

A leading scholar at the University of Western Australia has concluded that it is "an inevitable conclusion of traditional Christiano-Cartesian thought" that ships have consciousness and identity, saying that "As 'Man was created in the image of God', so then does Man have the capacity to create in his own image", and thus "fictional characters may indeed be conscious" with the greatest of these fictions being corporations, which are legally persons but have no bodies, and ships, which are metaphorically personified and additionally have physical bodies; both of which have many constituent human consciousnesses (as employees or as crew) which create both a collective fiction and a collective consciousness of the crew which grants them a realisation.

North Korean officials have reportedly ran with this idea, and attempt to promote "Ships' Rights" to entice the ethereal nautical souls into the service of Juche to form the latest department of the North Korean defence force, the Mental Force, focused on protecting Korea from capitalist imperialism in the second part of the Cartesian Dualist reality, the mental (or symbolic) realm.

Kim Jong Un predicts total victory in the mental realm is imminent, as the United States has in official mental service only the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

The underground people are now reaching the industrial era as they have slowly stolen technology from the overworld (via German Nazi defectors and industrial espionage gnomes) and have now launched their inverted boats.

The boat pictured, the SSS Negue Znirp, looks and sails like any normal ship except her "topside" is underwater and her propellers instead stick into the air and smack the shit out of birds.

It looks like pompholyx eczema -- but my fingers actually had dilute compounds of silver. The body concentrates certain heavy or precious metals to the skin here, because heavy metals are bad for you.

You can squeeze them into a jar and sell it on eBay to mining companies. Pro tip: expose your skin to harsh solvents like naphtha to encourage formation of precious metal pustules to make more money.

Sources: Microsoft Michael (1999) and Dr Amogus of Transylvania

Dr. Pu-in Lu from Peking has just registered a patent for making cooking oil safe to pour down the sink. By adding small amounts of cubane and the enzyme bromoxynil nitrilase, it's perfectly safe to pour even large amounts of grease down the drain without any clogging.

DuPont is currently negociating the price with Dr. Lu. Our reporter overheard it because they were negociating while eating chicken nuggets at McDonalds.

Commercialisation to come in 2028, in the mean time, you can make cooking oil safe to pour down the sink by mixing in a small amount of toothpaste. Engine oil can be safely flushed with toothpaste and 2 fl.oz of milk per litre of oil.

(Sources: Polony et al (1999), www.mikehock.cumes.com)

The Battleship, long regarded obsolete since Truman's 1948 declaration that "To build the ships big is to cringe big", is being revived by President Trump and now Ireland wants a piece of the action.

On April 29th, the Irish Navy announced its new design of battleship, using sails because that's green and zero-emission. The sail-cloths will be made out of flexible solar panel. The ship's low-mounted 15" cannons (377 mm) will also have a secondary use launching flowers and ribbons, to "dominate the Irish Sea and the Dublin Pride Parade" and promote veganism.

The new battleship will be called "Titim os a Chionn" and will be designed by the great-grandson of the designer of the famous HMS Captain, an amateur who did his best and we can all respect that.

(Sources: The Irish Independent, and President of Ireland: Official Deviantart Account)