Need to vent.
I am currently engaged to someone who has struggled with addiction to 7oh and other opioids. We don’t live together and hadn’t had time to spend together in a while so I went to stay at his house for a few nights. Before coming over he called and informed me he had relapsed. I told him I’d be with him through the withdrawal and it would be ok. Anyways… he claims to be withdrawing and a few days later we’re lying in bed and he starts telling me he’s having a panic attack. I knew in my gut it wasn’t a panic attack. His heart wasn’t racing. And he began breathing extremely shallowly. He told me he felt weightless and like he could pass out. Also told me he couldn’t feel his hands or legs. I asked him if I should get help (as someone who’s experienced panic attacks I knew this wasn’t one) and he insisted I don’t. I kept having to talk loudly and poke at him to get him to breathe. He ended up hyperventilating for a few seconds then settled back into the shallow breathing. I tried to believe it was a panic attack even when I knew it wasn’t. I should’ve gotten help and I feel so guilty. He’s fine but he could’ve overdosed and I would’ve been the only person there and I wouldn’t have done anything about it. I even got up and went to the bathroom and began googling symptoms but chose to trust him. I feel so horrible about it. He could barely keep his eyes open or maintain a train of thought. He admitted to me a few days later that he had used again and felt bad for lying to me. Idk how to feel.