u/RadiSkates

My abusive father has since learned he is not welcome at my wedding, and is pouting around the house, saying things that are obviously him trying to prompt my other family members into getting him to talk about how he feels about it.
My grandpa (an amazing person, whose been there for me more than my own father has) sat him down & said he needs to get over his fears & insecurities that destroyed our relationship, and apparently a lot more that wasn’t shared.
I don’t WANT a relationship with an emotional terrorist who beat me, denied me as his daughter, and tore me down with sexism as a child. So I’m frustrated my grandpa did this.
I only know this happened because my mother called, and asked if she could give my father my phone number, so “he can extend an olive branch.”
My mother asked “what did your father do?” And I lost it. I literally broke down screaming and crying about every time he hit me, until I couldn’t breathe and nearly hung up the phone. I wish I did.
I’m literally less than a month out from my wedding, and every single time I speak to my mother, this is all she’ll talk about! The amount of stress this is putting on me makes me want to check myself into the hospital. I just want to enjoy these last few weeks of planning & prepping my wedding with my fiancé, and it feels like they’re trying to sabotage it….

I’m on mobile so I’m sorry for crappy formatting.

I’m getting married soon, I’ve posted here about this situation before, and I have some updates.

My mother somewhat ambushed me during a visit about her abusive husband getting an invite to the wedding. He is my biological father, but denied my lineage and abused me my entire childhood, until I took a dna test at 23 that showed I’m his daughter.

She said she’d do anything to get him an invite, and I explicitly stated that there’s nothing that can be done, he is who he is and that means he will not be invited to the happiest day of my life so far. She then said I need to accept his “love” (never speaking to me in adulthood, abusing me as a child is love?!) that he is not perfect, but neither am I.

She demands I “extend an olive branch” or else she will lie to both him and I to get us in a room together, and lock us in until we “can work this out.”

She begged once more to “not break her heart and rethink my decision” before I left her home, and I stated “ I have had months to think about this, the answer is no.”

I feel so exhausted, unsafe, and unloved after this conversation. I came home and raged, cried & screamed as my fiance held me. He said he would shut the conversation down with her if he needed to, and he has my back. I feel like I didn’t stand up for myself enough, she had me locked in her car as she drove to get herself dinner, so I couldn’t safely leave.