Hi, DD was 1 year ago and I still talk about the affair most days! I’m still so mad and heartbroken. I still have so many questions and I still just grill him always!
I’m realising I can’t do it and I think I’m making it worse! All I can do is leave!
Do you think emotional cheating is enough to break up my family? Happend 8 years ago sexting on a reddit type chat! said no more ever!! He agreed it was stupid!
Then happened again 2 years ago, found out 10 months ago! Then there were another joke about having sex with a co worker. Because it’s a joke apparently it’s ok!
I don’t think he’s an asshole, I think he’s more screwed up mentally than anything. I don’t hate him but can’t be with him anymore and I feel bad!
Husband had a few cheating episodes, needs validation from outside. One lasted 6 weeks!
He’s so messed up! He’s got major mental issues and can’t handle conflict! So everytime I need to talk about the affair it comes this confusing conversation. Husband said I’m manipulating him! Because I’m pushing for the truth! Said I changed my world to trick him into saying the wrong thing!
It’s really hard because he doesn’t actually respond to most of what I say! So I might repeat it. He also actually falls awhile I’m talking (because it’s often night when I want to talk and he’s also got sleep issues so he’s more important 🤔)
I’m not trying to do anything to be honest I just need to know what he thinks and feels!
I’m moving into the back room! It’s been 10 months of this shit and I’m ready to move on!
My husband was having a 6 week emotional affair! Messages daily! Group hangs etc. not the first time either. He’s seriously trying so hard to fix things! I’m basically just a lump at the moment. I don’t work many hours! I’m home and I cry! I just can’t get anything done! Everything feels useless. Like does it matter if the kids just watch tv? Does it really matter if the house is tidy! Because everything I did before I found out was just forgotten I wasn’t appreciated before! I wasn’t valued! Not surprised moments, no flowers, no plans!
He’s seriously trying and doing lots of the house stuff etc. but it just doesn’t even matter! It makes no difference I just won’t ever get over it!
I’m randomly thinking about a teacher from the daughter’s school, not her teacher just a teacher at the school. I’ve never really even noticed other men! I’ve never thought about someone this much! He seems very nice, seems to notice the small things etc!
It actually makes me feel hopeful again! I 100 percent know that a teacher isn’t the ideal situation and I don’t even know if he’s taken!
It’s all so weird!
I know I need to leave! It’s just so hard to actually do it!
Hello, how does anyone ever get over the nice things that were said to the affair partner.
My husband’s never been over complimentary towards me, never seemed to bother with birthday surprises etc. never made a fuss out of me. I even remember after we came home from the hospital with our second I had to make my own toasted sandwich for dinner because he never “looked after me” he even went straight back to work after our first born was born.
But when I saw the msg to his AP they were very complimentary, very caring! He told her how great she was and what a catch she was. He offered to bring her comfort food when something had happened. But yet never offered to pick up food if I had a bad day etc! He never cooked so cooking our family food was never going to happen.
It’s like he did all the things I was asking him to do for me but did it for her!
I can’t even look at him! He seems so pathetic and weak to me now! But he’s determined to save our marriage.
I don’t understand why now he wants to save it! He had 20 years to make an effort and he didn’t! Then when the times comes to be loyal he couldn’t. That tells me I’m not very important to him!
Do you ever get past it?
Hello, husband works in a high stress job money is good so I’m lucky to stay at home. I’ve started making some cakes from home which bring me between 200-300 a week.
So I’ve done basically most of the child Care because I’m home which is perfectly normal. Even on weekends I’m the one who takes them to Sports and I let my husband stay home so he can have a bit of a weekend. Any completion etc are all me because I didn’t want him to have to sit there all day!
There’s times that I feel like I could use some help in the evening and I wish at times he would just step in with the kids without me asking!
He always said “just ask and I’ll help”
I don’t want to ask for help for one I don’t want to bother him because he came home from work but there’s moments when I feel I’m like a kettle about to pop. Then I might have a little moments but then I often apologise.
He got to the point where he felt that it was personal and I started to hate him! This led to him and I distancing from each other etc! He really got offended by my moments! Never cared if I was ok tho but thinking about it I was probably depressed and Peri menopausal. But he never thought about me enough only about how he felt.
This basically led to him having an emotional affair and me becoming the Villian!! He makes it sound like I was basically going out of my way to fuck him over!
Yeah I’m not perfect but I do a lot and there’s still a lot of good!
Am I the asshole?
Hello, husband works in a high stress long hours job money is good so I’m lucky to stay at home. I’ve started making some cakes from home which bring me between 200-300 a week.
So I’ve done basically most of the child Care because I’m home which is perfectly normal. Even on weekends I’m the one who takes them to Sports and I let my husband stay home so he can have a bit of a weekend. But he does all the outside work for our house. He’s a very hard worker I’m not saying he’s lazy at all. Any completions for kids on weekends etc are all me because I didn’t want him to have to sit there all day!
There’s times that I feel like I could use some help in the evening and I wish at times he would just step in with the kids without me asking!
He always said “just ask and I’ll help”
I don’t want to ask for help for one I don’t want to bother him because he came home from work but there’s moments when I feel I’m like a kettle about to pop. Then I might have a little moments but then I often apologise.
He got to the point where he felt that it was personal and thought I started to hate him! This led to him and I distancing from each other etc! He really got offended by my moments! Never said it was becoming a problem. Never cared if I was ok tho but thinking about it I was probably depressed and Peri menopausal. But he never thought about me enough only about how he felt.
This basically led to him having an emotional affair and me becoming the Villian!! He makes it sound like I was basically going out of my way to fuck him over!
Yeah I’m not perfect but I do a lot and there’s still a lot of good!
Husband had an 8 week emotional affair ( least that’s what he said) but he did visit her house a few times.
There’s been other smaller things years ago. A joke on some chat where he was sexting some stranger. That was 8 years ago!
This time round was also due to his depression. Felt hopeless and that we were drifting! He’s a total Avoidant said he couldn’t come talk to me even tho I told him the things that were bothering me.
There was no flowers, no birthday, no anniversary etc. I felt extremely alone. Kids and house were all mine to care for. He was so drained from his job to be a good dad.
6 months later found flirting jokes with a lady from work. Once again he said it was just jokes and banter. That’s the type of office they have! Like telling her she looked good in a dress. Jokes about sex etc.
I know I need to leave but I’ve got kids with him too. He still wants to work on things and I did at first. But recently met a friend from the gym who I kinda like and I’m now less scared to move on and feeling hopeful.
Is it wrong I’m still in the same house but making friends outside? I’m basically doing the same thing in a way. Except I do tell my husband about this friend so maybe not the same.
Advice please