u/RadicalBehavior1

Hello everyone,

If you don't know me by now, I am a behavioral scientist and a therapist for developmental and intellectual disabilities

I have been happily married to a diagnosed OCPD person for most of my life

Like all personality disorders, OCPD begins in childhood with instability and uncertainty.

Trauma accelerates the onset of OCPD traits, but it's not a necessary component.

OCPD is not the embedded conviction that everything must change to suit the preference of the OCPD individual.

An adaptive behavior is one that meets a need in a socially acceptable and functionality appropriate way

A maladaptive behavior is one that meets a need in a functional but inappropriate way

There are maladaptive behaviors that are socially acceptable.

Attenuating a lack of rest with nicotine and caffeine are socially acceptable, maladaptive behaviors.

Speaking from experience

Attenuating a fear of personal judgement, environmental sanitation, monetary or housing instability, hygiene insufficiency, moral ineptitude, religious commitment, or work quality by endlessly attempting to _correct the behavior of others_ is a socially unacceptable, maladaptive behavior

OCPD is a set of traits defined by a material and everlasting fear of RELIVING even greater stress than the sufferer is experiencing in every moment

With all fear based disorders, we see a causal chain of three hallmark occurrences

The observation of something that may introduce an unpredictable event

The fear that by not correcting the observed problem, the unpredictable event will become a certainty

An often failed attempt to control the fear so that it does not escalate to panic

With OCPD, reactions are episodic and astonishingly reliable

If you're not afraid of what I'm afraid of, you're not paying attention

If you're not paying attention, you should be

If you were paying attention like you should be, you would be afraid of what I'm afraid of

I can't believe I'm once again the only one left to secure stability for us ALL

because you won't just pay attention

That's it.

"Leave me alone" now sounds like I don't care about what's important

"You're asking too much" now sounds like I am not willing to do my part

"I can't do everything you want me to do" now sounds like I don't care enough about you to match your level of effort

"I don't understand why you're mad" now sounds like I'm ok with you being the one to fix everything even if it is driving you crazy

I hope this helps you to understand your loved ones.

This does not make any of the controlling behavior ok or even remotely acceptable. It is still maladaptive. It still needs to be addressed. But it cannot be addressed without understanding what it really is.

American here.

My wife and I were working toward making Aliyah up until the pandemic, so we stayed back. Then, the October 7th terrorism held us back still.

Now, if you haven't been to the USA lately, the insidious hate has once more become so pervasive and normalized that the air is saturated.

Our own very progressive (former) friends who forgot that we're Jewish now openly throw the old 'I'm an anti-Zionist not an antisemite' line about. When we tell them that it's the same thing, they actually argue with us. All of them. All of them.

I know this isn't a jobs for Olim forum. I have my master's degree in behavioral science, am a certified behavior analyst, and I work with Autistic children in clinic. But, I know that this kind of work isn't necessarily a profession outside of North America and Japan.

My wife is a project manager, and a really good one.

I know it's the hard decision we all have to make and I'll make the decision to start over if I have to. But, is there anything resembling this type of work in Israel?

Thanks for any advice.

I fully acknowledge this is my own fault because I know they do weekly maintenance at this time.

But I had just written about a 12 paragraph observational data analysis on a child's safety related behavioral history, really putting my literary art to it, when I was abruptly booted and hit with the "WE'LL BE BACK SOON" page.

Good job central reach. I am now fully committed to developing and motivated to create an entirely identical product and offering it for free.

It'll be called Middle Grasp and the only difference it will have is a fucking autosave feature.

With no unmet needs!