u/Radioactive644

Hello wonderful members of r/turtles!!! I come here today seeking the almighty knowledge of thy.

I have loved turtles for years and years and years now. They are absolutely my favorite animal, I ADORE them. So, naturally (considering this adoration started when I was very young), I had made up my mind on what I wanted.

"I'm going to have a pet painted turtle and he will be named Jester and I will pet him and hold him and cuddle him and it will be perfect!!"

I turned 18 nearly 6 months ago and graduated high school 3 months ago. I'm officially an adult, so I realised I should actually look into the steps of getting and caring for a turtle-- having a pet turtle is no longer a "maybe one day!", but a genuine possibility I can achieve. So, I did my research.

Oh boy. Jezus christ. I was so, so off.

From what I could tell, painted turtles require SO much experience, and so much space and money and time and I would absolutely be willing to put in the effort for the little guy, but realistically it might not be feasible and I don't want to risk giving a turtle a bad life. So, reddit, I turn to you.

As I said, I did do research, but I was seeing alot of conflicting things, and with the ever growing, all consuming force that is AI seeping its way into everything, I didn’t know what I could trust. What are some turtles that are best for begginers and also are okay with being held or pet sometimes, as well as not requiring a shit ton of space? If they're semi-aquatic that'd be swell (or should I say.... shell?) but I'm flexible. Can people also set some realistic guesstimates of how much space I should expect to need, as well as costs and amount of care?

Thank you everyone!

(P.S. don't worry- this is still absolutely a future me plan. Just more near future now. I'm still living with my parents lmao, I wouldn't go out and buy a turtle unless I have a somewhat long-term space to call my own)

Hey guys! I was wondering if anyone knows whether or not the current owner of Banbury is chill or not? I would absolutley LOVE to ask about potentially exploring some of the creepier parts of it, but obviously would want to get permission first. I'm just scared to reach out and don't want to if its some scary guy that will be mean lol

Hi-- I don't know if this is the right place to go, but I genuinely don't know what else to do or who to ask. It doesn't say anything in the rules about it so I think I'm clear?

I'm an abuser, and fuck, I really don't want to be.

Ive been "aware" of it for a while. I've hated myself for it for just as long. I knew that yes, I am emotionally abusive towards the people closest to me. I have manipulative tendencies and even though I'm not acting out of malice, it's still really harmful. But today is the day that it genuinley hit me-- I AM an abuser. The person who has faced the brunt of it said something that just... broke me. This is our conversation:

~

(M is me, A is my friend)

M- I think thats the closest ive ever been to crying in therapy lol

God im a mess arent I?

I hate myself lol

A- How so?

M- How so what?

A- How are you a mess and why cry?

M- Because i was talking about how i have what can basically be called an addiction

A- To?

M- And even though ive been "clean" for a couple years now, i feel worse than when I wasnt

(Replying to A's message) Comphort

And she didnt really belive me lol, she was like "maybe it was some sort of sadistic thing that you miss?" But no

Its being comphorted. Lashing out and having someone catch me despite getting punched in the process

A- I see

M- And im a mess because im borderline lol

A- Real lol

M- Fuck man, how did you put up with me for so long

A- Oh boy, heavy emotion apparently? Masochism? Endless devotion? Desperation? Praying that youd change if I just cared more? Thinking it was my fault for you being upset? Thinking about it now, it felt like a wire with a husband who hits her. I think a lot of relationships have been like that. I should deal with that. Fuck.

~

"I felt like a wife with a husband who hits her." That message is... awful. I hate it. I hate that I'm like this and my first reaction is (and was, I admit I acted on the impulse) to block her so she never has to see me again. But I know I won't be able to sustain that. I'm dependent on her. I've been working so hard to change and be better but it just-- I don't know what to do. What should I do?? I know I don't deserve sympathy and I don't want it-- I just need to know how to deal with this. How can I actually change? How can I stop hurting the people I care about?

I want to be a better person.

(P.s. if you know any good songs about being abusive please share. Music is how I can best cope with big feelings and shit)