u/Rakshas-93

Let’s start off with a very extreme example.

A man 🍇’s a minor.

Unforgivable. Lock him up and throw away the key.

I think everyone on the planet can unanimously agree that this person in the example doesn’t deserve any form of sympathy, treated equally or seen as a member of society.

But time and time again I keep hearing it. It was in the past. They’re not that person now.

In this example. I think that statement is void. And I’d like to believe a lot of people would agree with me.

Yet there are people on this planet. Men AND women. That would give a man like this a second chance. Even a home, a family, and a loving partner.

Okay another example.

A in her early 20s woman swindles senile, almost demintia ridden old men off their money. Less common but happens someone in the world. Even if the intent isn’t evil. They’re still doing an incredibly immoral thing. Yet a lot of misandrists will defend this woman in the example. Saying she had to do it survive in a patriarchal world. And some fool of a man would agree and marry her. She’d still have a strong network of support and go about her life knowing that she not only ruined the life of these old men. But the lives of the people the money was meant for.

Another example. Which is unfortunately common at this point. Cheaters.
At this point. It’s pretty much taboo to ASK. And if you do doubt them for their past actions. YOU’RE labelled as insecure and told to go therapy. Even so far as been called a horrible person for judging someone on their past actions as it doesn’t represent who they are now.

Yet cheaters have no remorse usually and move on without consequences. And while some people can get over it. Just because THEY could. Doesn’t meant others can. No matter how much therapy they have. It’s a part of them now. They have to live with it. And for a lot of people. They don’t find new love. They’re just unlucky. Some just don’t recover even if they are doing the right things to build themselves up.

Just because a group of loud people scream a dogmatic wave of opinion. Doesn’t mean it’s the right answer for you as an individual

Let’s take therapy for example. Redditors favourite back pocket weapon comment while they’re fingering their arseholes. I’ve been going for the past decade for various reasons.

I’ve seen multiple therapists, and while they’re all for different reasons of depression. They dealt with it depression. I’m not even lying when I say this. But each time I came to them with a subject or topic, each of their answers were vastly different.

Well it’s what works you right? Sure! But then i keep seeing comments like “your therapist is wrong. See a different one”. So now i need to find cycle through different therapist till I get one that agrees with you?

At this point why even go to therapy? If the overall life lesson is “do what you want and ignore what everyone says”? I get therapy has it uses. But ask let’s say an incel to go therapy, only for the therapist to give any answer that the average Redditor doesn’t have the balls to understand, BY A PROFESSIONAL!!!

At that point who’s wrong. The Redditor or the therapist? To say that a therapist is wrong is a dumb take.

I’ve been on Reddit for a long time. I’ve seen posts where people have been in therapy their whole lives and still want to end their lives. Or Redditors commenting that the therapist is wrong.

Okay let’s switch to a different profession. Medical professionals.

I’ve been suffering from many physical and mental issues. For the past 20 years I’ve gone to various doctors to get them treated.

I don’t know if I live in some alternate universe where going to a doctor means you’re instantly cured, but to give you some context. I’ve presented an issue I was having with my body as a teen. In now in my 30s and it’s getting worse. And one FOLLOWED everything the doctors said. Go gym, change diet, switch jobs, stop smoking & drinking, do stretches, do breathing exercises.

Yet my condition keeps getting worse and they keep throwing every medication under the sun on me, and when I go back saying this medication or treatment isn’t working they keep changing the meds, until at they just shrug their shoulders and say well looks like you have to live with it.

Another example. I started suffering from nosebleed randomly in my late 20s. I was working 16 hour shifts, 10-13 days back to back for months. It was obvious my body was pushing itself past its limits. Even though I had given up every major addiction at that point. Had a balance diet and went gym regularly.
Yet for some reason. After months of seeing doctors, I’m due an operation to correct my septum…

Okay so sometime to know about this. When I spoke to the pre-assessment doctor, the doctor before the actual operation, I asked them. Is this going to fix my nose bleeds?

He looked at me puzzled and said. You get nose bleeds? I thought you were here for a standard septum correction. No you’ll get still suffer from nose bleeds. Septum correction has nothing to do with nose bleeds. Go back and talk to your doctor.

So I went back to the doctor. Back to square one. Months of waiting, months of random medication that didn’t help. Only to be REFERRED BACK TO SEPTUM CORRECTION TREATMENT!!! And it was only a few months ago I asked the same thing to a different pre-assessment doctor. Will this fix my nose bleeds. Same answer!!!

Anyone I speak to. Friend, family. Work. It’s all the same story. Go to a “professional”, different answers every time. Medication rotation, no results. Either dropped by the doctor or told to live with it without actually studying and analysing what it is.

It sucks. My mums getting old and her conditions getting worse, pain medication doesn’t work anymore coz her bodies used to it. My body is failing me even though I go gym 4-5 times a week and have a clean diet. My friends mental health is bad, clearly suffering from some form of bipolar, yet they’ve dropped him. I’ve had work colleagues been given treatment after treatment, only to hear a few years later that it’s gotten so bad theyre on some government welfare or benefit and have to be off work because they doctor didn’t catch one small thing that blew up in to a big thing.

I’ve seen people smoke and drink. Inject shit into their arms and shove shit up their nose, yet they’re strong as an ox after giving all that up. But some people who haven’t even touched a drug or substance in their life randomly fall ill.

Go to a professional? Well fucking duh! That’s the first thing anyone would do. It’s such a cop out lazy comment Redditors say while they’re smelling their own farts.

Like it’s keeping us divided, to a degree that it almost feels as if we don’t share the same gender or sex because of the topic, challenges or struggles.

For example. Dating. Some men in extreme cases have never had a GF or sex in their entire life. Yet some men would say it was easy for them so it should be easy for you, others would say just go therapy, others would assume they just hate women, while another group would say it’s just about confidence. So many different explanations without any understanding of ‘lived’ experience.

Another example would be the topic of Masculinity. Some men would say go gym, have a strict schedule, put women and kids first and completely bottle up and ignore your feelings. Others would say it’s about embracing your feminine emotions, that it’s okay to have whatever body you want, it should be acceptable to have non masculine hobbies and interests. While another group would say it’s all about money, finance, and building an empire. Is it all of these. Is it some of these. It is none of these? Yet most men would butt heads on what the ideology of it REALLY is.

My point overall is that in the 21st a lot of the burdens, responsibilities and obligations the previous generation of men before us is something we don’t share as much anymore. Women are capable of providing for themselves. Kids don’t need an in person male figure in their lives to teach them things, and men, 50-100 years ago are completely different to what we are now. Leaving us men of this generation trying to figure ourselves out and where we belong in this new age of society.

This is more of a philosophical discussion. I hope it doesn’t devolve into chaos 😅