The Alien Epoch Hypothesis: Are "aliens" just our long-lost terrestrial cousins?
Greetings fellow Seekers, Dreamers, and True Believers!
In this missive, we will make several outlandish claims: claims that even the greatest alien conspirators might think are a step too far.
But we are bringing all the evidence in a clear and concise manner, or at least as much as a Reddit post written on a smartphone will allow.
The crux of this theory is that the modern human is not the first species to conquer this planet; as outlined below, we may not even be in the top three.
This will be a small novel in order to articulate and answer each postulated hypothetical. Each alien will be tied to its own chapter, not only of this post, but of geological eons of this planet.
There will, of course, be a TL;DR at the bottom for those who want the quick and dirty version, written with the kind of person who needs that version in mind.
This also assumes there has to be some outside force that demands an apex species or, for lack of a better term, a "human-like" winner of that era. What this force is is beyond the scope of this theory and should probably be discussed by theologians instead of conspirators. Please try to keep talk of this obvious plot hole out of the discussion so as to avoid derailing the conversation in the comments entirely.
Chapter One: The Greys and the Ordovician Period.
In this age, there was not much more than simple plant life and new, smaller creatures that defy any classical classification, as they are very alien in their own right.
In this primal ocean, a species that lived in the deepest waters took over the planet. They were small and grey. Sponge-like and weak, they had huge black eyes to capture the faint light that drifted down to the bottom of the ocean.
They are most famous for technology that doesn't seem to care if it is traveling through water, air, or space, as they would have had to solve for the pressures of the crushing oceans to make it to the stars.
This period ended with undersea volcanic explosions, which seems exactly like what would happen when a species that grew up using that energy let it get out of hand. So, they escaped in their crafts to the stars.
Chapter Two: The Norn and the Devonian Period.
Next came the age of the fishes, still in the water but slowly moving toward land. The creatures of this era were slowly becoming amphibians, taking steps to stay near the oceans, but also taking their technologies to the water's surface.
The Nordics are so named because they are long, graceful, and nearly elvish. The comparison to the Norse depictions of the álfar has evoked their modern name.
They ate the algae that led them to the surface in the first place, and they undoubtedly found ways to increase their yields. Maybe too well.
This period ended in a great algae explosion: one so great it seems almost like an industrial accident on a global scale. They too ascended somehow, maybe via the Bifröst if the theory about them being sea elves pans out. It is open to interpretation, as all good theories are.
Chapter Three: The Mantids and the Permian Period.
With the rise in oxygenation from the bloom, creatures great and small moved to the land where the first primal forests existed. The air here was just plain different, and insects grew huge and prolific. In this age of tiny giants, we have the Mantids. Adept at hiding and mimicry, they developed their minds instead of developing tunnel vision regarding their technology.
They did not cause their own extinction, we believe; this was just bad luck, as a super-volcano is not a pleasant alarm clock, but it is quite the herald of the end of their civilization.
Mantis people are known for their telepathy and their ability to change dimensions on the fly. They are known to be perfectionists and scientists, so they would have seen the signs coming and simply jumped to a parallel dimension, where they remain today.
Chapter Four: The Reptilians and the Triassic Period.
The new atmosphere led to the age of the mighty lizards we know and love. Our scaly shapeshifters ruled this period with intellect and claw alike.
They did so well, they conquered the entirety of Pangea, and not the even the Jurassic could slow them down. They lived all over until Pangea broke apart, and extreme climate changes forced them underground.
They are famously known for living under Antarctica, so they probably never escaped in the traditional sense; they just sealed themselves away. Hollow Earth, maybe? Any reptilians reading want to shed some light on this one? Probably not, but it was worth a shot, right?
Chapter Five: The Anunnaki and the Cretaceous Period.
There is so much information about the Anunnaki that trying to do it justice in this short form is practically insulting.
As such, instead of explaining all the things you probably already know from this subreddit and others like it, we will just focus on what caused them to leave the planet.
Chicxulub. That massive rock. Just pure, unstoppable, random chance.
We would leave the planet, too, if we saw that thing coming for us, and humanity would band together, too. Or, at least, what we would like to believe, contrary to contemporary evidence.
The story goes that they came back and somehow made humans in their image, but this also is outside the scope of this post, so please discuss this facet of their story elsewhere.
We are only discussing the possibility of there being a reason they left that is in alignment with all the other chapters.
Please do not derail this discussion.
Chapter Six: The Homo sapiens and the Modern Period.
We are the current rulers of this planet, but the logical conclusion of this hypothetical postulates that we are only the latest in the chain, and even in a worst case scenario, there will be a new period without us. We would not be unique in that respect, which we find bittersweet.
But this is also not a discussion about current events or where we are going as a species. This is entirely about the scope of the planet's past and the possibility that we are closer to what we consider "aliens" than we believe.
They may just be long lost cousins who come back to the place where they were created: like driving by your childhood home after growing up.
Sometimes they pick out members of our species for a health check. Sometimes, cruel individuals torture or kill small numbers of humans before the rest of their species stops them.
And very rarely, they let their teenagers drive the ship, and they show off a bit too much and get seen. Even more rarely, they just straight up crash.
These rare events are how we know about them, but we have to imagine they know about each other in some way, and there is a non-aggression pact that keeps them from revealing themselves to us fully.
The only reason we can think of that all these different species would all agree to something like this at all is that this hypothetical is true, and they each have a vested interest in keeping the planet viable.
TL;DR
This is everyone's home. This is the only one. We are all cousins, separated by millions or even billions of years.
This planet is so old it's hard for us to wrap our heads around it. There must have been apex species in the past that made it past the Great Filters of extinction events.
Thank you for reading with an open mind.
Please keep it civil and limit the tangents to the scope of this post. The person who wrote this is imperfect, too, and things may reflect that in the writing.
This is only about this one hypothesis. If this sparks ideas, please create a new post to discuss them.
Thank you again.
At the time of publishing this, we are aiming to cooperate fully with the subreddit's standards and guidelines. With the mod team's ongoing guidance for the community, we ask that you all please keep the discussion civil, but let your imagination run wild