u/Reasonable-Side6967

New kitten

My cat is a 1.5 year old neutered male indoor cat. I have had him since he was a kitten.

I want to add a new kitten or cat to the family so my cat can have a friend. But I have been debating what route to go here.

My cat is a very playful guy and I think it would be very beneficial for him to have another cat to play with. But also he's kind of a cat who does his own thing, he's not cuddly at all. And I wish to find a cat who is more cuddly. That led me to believe I should go to a shelter and adopt a cat that's already grown into their personality, so I'd know if it "chooses me" and if it's a lover. But someone told me that if I am introducing a new cat he would probably take better to a kitten than an adult cat because he can "raise him up" in a sense. Is this true?? And if it were true, will that kitten then take on the same personality as my cat??

Also not sure if I should get a female or male cat. I was thinking of getting a female, but I was also told that sometimes females can be just as territorial if not more?? I was under the impression that if there was 2 males it can be an issue, even if they are neutered?? Or does being neutered pretty much rule out the male to male competition??

And as stupid as this sounds, I am also afraid if I get another cat who is more cuddly I would somehow love the cat I have less. That's a genuine fear.

I am an overthinker so I tend to get myself going, so if any of this sounds ridiculous, I apologize. 🤣🤣

Has anyone else found it particularly difficult to debate about a topic with Gen Z?

What I mean about that is I enjoy a true good debate about topics where each individual is open minded about a perspective that might not be theirs. I don't mean they have to take on the same view as me, but at least be open enough to listen to the other side of the argument and actually think/discuss about the topic in an intellectual way.

What I have come across typically is them not willing to listen and being very guarded. And no this isn't regarding any particular topic, just in general.

And please no trash talk comments because that's not my intent. I have Gen Z nieces and nephews that I love and cherish. And there are so many good things I could say about the generation compared to ours. But I'm just genuinely curious if anyone else felt like they were very one sided when talking about topics.

🤔🤔

Is anyone else out there one of those "lucky" folks to start Perimenopause in their 30s?

Also anyone sooo lucky that their ADHD just went off the richter scale??

I'm 35 and honestly I just thought I had reached a level of stress in life where I had lost my mind. Turns out my body just wanted to start Perimenopause. 🤣

I would be interested in knowing I'm not the only early bird. 🧐

I am a 35 F, I have been to therapy several times in my lifetime, but I have never quite found the right person for me. I am interested in possibly finding someone again but I really want to hear from others and their experience. I have a past history of trauma, my current life situation/responsibilities are very overwhelming and I'm dealing with chronic stress.

If anyone would be willing to share who they see/have seen and why their experience is/was a positive one, I'd be interested to hear some stories. 😊

I am honestly beyond frustrated. I have a 6 year old with level 3 autism. I used to work, but the past year I have not been able to work because I have no idea how to get a plan in place for someone to watch him. In the past I was working 1st shift and his father worked 3rd shift, we would basically work and trade off caring for him each day. Well his father ended up caring for him all day and working all night. Last May he was so exhausted from this he got into a really bad car accident, which was enough to scare me , so I quit working and have been watching him during the day ever since. Now we are on one income and whatever little bit SSI gives us (which isn't barely anything), we are still barely getting by. I really want to go back to work, but there are no options that I can find for childcare that would work for him. Actual daycare if not an option because I don't know of any that would handle his level of care. Respite care is only meant as something to relieve a caregiver, not something that can be used on the regular as childcare. Then there is the children's waiver program which is more of an in-home personal care that is meant to help with personal care, living supports or health/nursing support, and I am not sure if this means they can be with the child alone (or if I would even know who to trust to be alone with him) or if the parent has to be present during care. Either way in order to find out you have to go through the Community Mental Health Center in my area, and I have had a terrible experience with them in the past with my older son. And I have noticed that even a "loving caring family" will ghost on you when you have a child with profound autism, because nobody wants to deal with it no matter how much they know you are suffering, it's "your problem" basically. Yes there are Autism centers in my area, but they are all ABA based, and we do not believe ABA is the best idea for him and neither does is occupational therapist, she actually advised against it. (No I do not want to turn this post into an ABA debate so please save the comments). When he was 4 we were going to get him into an early childhood special education class through the public school in my area, but they wanted to have 12 special needs kids per class and 2 adults, my son would need one person for him alone. Now that he is 6 he can get into special education at the elementary school for kindergarten. So I spoke to the principal and informed her he really needs a 1 on 1 and that is the only way I would feel comfortable with him going to school (he is an eloper on the highest level, he's a track star. and has zero safety awareness when it comes to things that can harm him, including putting dangerous items and substances in his mouth). She had me schedule a meeting with her and other supports at the school to discuss possibly enrolling him in Kindergarten and getting the support he needs. Well shorty after I scheduled this meeting, my other son who is in 3rd grade at the same school had conferences, and I just so happened to bump into the behavioral specialist at the elementary school (who also has a son with autism) and she quietly said to me so nobody could hear her "do not enroll him in this school, they are not equipped to handle him". That scared the crap out of me and I cancelled the meeting so quick. There is a special needs school in my area that is equipped but in my state there is the "least restrictive law" which means they need to fail public school prior to being placed there, well failing for my child could mean he elopes or hurts himself, this is risk I AM NOT willing to take. One day I randomly ran into a woman who is an advocate for those with disabilities and she told me that this is not true, that they just don't want to sign off because for every kid they loose funding. I am very frustrated and confused and have no clue where to start.