r/AutismParent

I only say toddler because that's my boy.

PLEASE consider TSA Cares. I cannot beg you enough. This saved my sanity this summer. It was life changing (not exaggerating here).

Edit to add: Many of you already know this. This advice may be for new-to-the-community parents.

Our health visitor came today for my daughter’s 2 year developmental review. She scored low in almost every area except social awareness.
She turned two three weeks ago and still isn’t talking. She doesn’t point, has very little pretend play, and tends to play in repetitive ways. At the same time, she has remarkable attention to detail.

She loves lining up and sorting animals into the correct groups, builds towers, and accurately matches and categorizes colors. Her health visitor found her ability to recognize patterns and organise toys quite impressive. What somehow makes me less concerned is that she shifts out of activities and routines fairly quickly and diverts her attention to me. And she loves recruiting us into tasks and activities, but still…

We’re now waiting for the next stage of the assessment, and the uncertainty is already eating me alive. If anyone has been through something similar with their child, I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience. And if you have any questions about my daughter, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m happy to answer anything if it helps you get a clearer picture and offer more informed advice.

My son (3) is speech delayed. His SLP says he is about 7 months delayed. He knows all his numbers, colors, songs, etc but is not fully conversational. He JUST started to be able to have some back and forth conversation. He also scripts sometimes. He has ARFID and only eats about 5 foods. My greatest concern is he has had a lot of issues with biting and hiting despite talks, books, social stories, OT, and everything else under the sun I can think of. He is also having a lot of trouble staying dry with potty training. We got him evaluated from an ABA center the other day and both the doctor and 3 BCBAs agreed he does not have ASD. They said they saw some rigidity but that he was social, made eye contact, had reciprocity, and no other unusual behaviors/stims. She said she doesn’t like to diagnose ADHD until 4, but to look out for it.

On one hand I am relived. I love a lot of my students with ASD, but there are challenges he could have faced. However, I was hoping the ABA therapy could help him with some of the behavioral issues like biting and hiting and now we don’t have that as an option and neurotypical preschool was not working out great for him.

Has anyone else been through this feeling of relief and also….well there’s still behavioral and language issues…so now what?

Mine keeps getting stuck on the first step. I'm trying to work on simple 2-step directions with my almost 3-year-old, but we're not getting very far. If I say something like, "Pick up the toy and put it in the bin," he'll do the first part just fine... then completely forget about the second part.

I'm not sure if two-step directions are just too advanced for him right now or if there's a better way to teach it. We've had a lot more success with one-step directions, so maybe I'm moving too fast.

For anyone who's been through this, what helped your kid make that jump?

my best friend has a child who is nonverbal autistic.
My kids are accustomed to being around her and we have age-appropriate conversations about how she communicates differently.
This past weekend, we had a birthday party for my son and my friends daughter became overstimulated and had a meltdown. both mother and child left in tears, despite my best efforts to accommodate them inside with no noise and no people to calm down.

If you are a parent of a non-verbal autistic child, what are some ways I can be as supportive as possible verbally? What can I say as a friend to help her? what should I avoid saying?, I want her to feel as though my house is a safe place for her and her child and maintain sensitivity to something that I don’t experience at all. Any kind advice would be appreciated

Father of 7yo with autism adhd and intellectual disability. Just want someone to vent with, tips and suggestions or just a supportive shoulder to lean on.
Just feel so isolated and alone with no one in my proximity that understands and yeah just throwing a question out there for someone who gets it.

My daughter is 1 month old and I need to decided on vaccinations.. most material I read says no effect, but I feel like a lot of kids are autistic, more than when I was younger (I could of just been unaware) but I’m wondering from the community, how parents feel about this? I’m also 39, so far she’s completely normal as far as we can tell.

Are any of your kids obsessed with commercials? My 7 year old is obsessed. The videography, music, jingles, etc.

. He even likes old school commercials from the 90s. For example, he’ll look up Kellogg on YouTube, and play all their commercials. SC Johnsonn etc.

If I’m out with him, he notices the smallest SC Johnson logos on items (they do so much) and it seems like it’s pattern recognition thing mixed with it just is something he’s into.

My 2-year-old nephew has never developed normal speech, and our family is very worried. We recently saw a doctor who told us that his brain was working normally till 1 year but now he doesn't seem to be processing language and communication normally and said that we should have took action earlier but we thought it was normal for a kid to develop speech (my mom said i started talking when i was 3+ years) and doctor recommended intensive therapy (around ₹45,000/month), but we were not given a clear diagnosis.

Here are his symptoms:

• He does not respond to his name most of the time, although he does react to loud sounds or when someone shouts.
• He makes good eye contact.
• He does not say any meaningful words. He sometimes mumbles sounds like "mamama," but not to call or communicate with anyone.
• When he wants something, he doesn't point or ask for it. Instead, he takes our hand and leads us to what he wants.
• If we give him what he wants, he is immediately happy. If we don't, he cries very intensely until he gets it. The crying stops almost instantly (within a second) once he gets what he wanted.
• He has never developed normal speech and has not lost any skills—he simply never started talking properly.
• He clearly shows a wide range of emotions. He smiles, laughs, gets excited, feels shy around some people, blushes, becomes sad, and is very affectionate with family. He gets extremely happy when he sees his dad and jumps with excitement. He is also very energetic and active while playing. Emotionally, he doesn't seem "blank"

Some things that seem completely normal:

• He is extremely active and loves running and playing.
• He gets very excited when he sees his dad, smiles, jumps, and clearly shows happiness.
• He recognizes family members and interacts with us in his own way.
• He understands how to show us what he wants, even though he doesn't use words.

Other things we've noticed:

• Feeding him is difficult. He often cries during meals, although he'll sometimes happily eat fast food or non-vegetarian food without crying.
• He often wants a phone or TV. His mother sometimes puts on cartoons while doing household work because she can't play with him every minute. When the TV or phone is taken away, he cries. I'm not sure if this is just typical toddler behavior or related to his developmental issues.

At the moment, our biggest concerns are:

1. He doesn't understand or respond to communication the way other children his age do.
2. He cannot use words to communicate.
3. He has very intense crying when he wants something, but calms down immediately once he gets it.

The therapy the doctor recommended costs around ₹45,000 per month, which is a very large amount for our family. We are willing to do whatever is best for him, but we're scared because we don't know whether this therapy is the right choice or if it's worth the cost. We also don't know how to judge whether the center is legitimate and providing evidence-based therapy. Has anyone been in a similar situation? What questions should we ask before committing, and how can we tell if a therapy program is genuine and appropriate for a child like him?

If I've forgotten any important details, I'll add them in the comments. Please feel free to ask me any questions that might help. I would really appreciate any advice or shared experiences from parents or medical professionals.

Hey everyone,
Looking for swim diaper recommendations. Finding a huge size gap online, with nothing in what we need.
42 lbs, currently wearing 5/6 pull ups.
TIA : )

He's been in early intervention for two months and does decently with imitation. The therapist is convinced his communication will come after he starts walking. We've scheduled a neurological assessment and autism evaluation in 2 weeks. Is there any hope he catches up?

I am honestly beyond frustrated. I have a 6 year old with level 3 autism. I used to work, but the past year I have not been able to work because I have no idea how to get a plan in place for someone to watch him. In the past I was working 1st shift and his father worked 3rd shift, we would basically work and trade off caring for him each day. Well his father ended up caring for him all day and working all night. Last May he was so exhausted from this he got into a really bad car accident, which was enough to scare me , so I quit working and have been watching him during the day ever since. Now we are on one income and whatever little bit SSI gives us (which isn't barely anything), we are still barely getting by. I really want to go back to work, but there are no options that I can find for childcare that would work for him. Actual daycare if not an option because I don't know of any that would handle his level of care. Respite care is only meant as something to relieve a caregiver, not something that can be used on the regular as childcare. Then there is the children's waiver program which is more of an in-home personal care that is meant to help with personal care, living supports or health/nursing support, and I am not sure if this means they can be with the child alone (or if I would even know who to trust to be alone with him) or if the parent has to be present during care. Either way in order to find out you have to go through the Community Mental Health Center in my area, and I have had a terrible experience with them in the past with my older son. And I have noticed that even a "loving caring family" will ghost on you when you have a child with profound autism, because nobody wants to deal with it no matter how much they know you are suffering, it's "your problem" basically. Yes there are Autism centers in my area, but they are all ABA based, and we do not believe ABA is the best idea for him and neither does is occupational therapist, she actually advised against it. (No I do not want to turn this post into an ABA debate so please save the comments). When he was 4 we were going to get him into an early childhood special education class through the public school in my area, but they wanted to have 12 special needs kids per class and 2 adults, my son would need one person for him alone. Now that he is 6 he can get into special education at the elementary school for kindergarten. So I spoke to the principal and informed her he really needs a 1 on 1 and that is the only way I would feel comfortable with him going to school (he is an eloper on the highest level, he's a track star. and has zero safety awareness when it comes to things that can harm him, including putting dangerous items and substances in his mouth). She had me schedule a meeting with her and other supports at the school to discuss possibly enrolling him in Kindergarten and getting the support he needs. Well shorty after I scheduled this meeting, my other son who is in 3rd grade at the same school had conferences, and I just so happened to bump into the behavioral specialist at the elementary school (who also has a son with autism) and she quietly said to me so nobody could hear her "do not enroll him in this school, they are not equipped to handle him". That scared the crap out of me and I cancelled the meeting so quick. There is a special needs school in my area that is equipped but in my state there is the "least restrictive law" which means they need to fail public school prior to being placed there, well failing for my child could mean he elopes or hurts himself, this is risk I AM NOT willing to take. One day I randomly ran into a woman who is an advocate for those with disabilities and she told me that this is not true, that they just don't want to sign off because for every kid they loose funding. I am very frustrated and confused and have no clue where to start.

Last week was my son’s 2.5 yr visit to the pediatrician. He hated going to the doctor, which I think is normal. At this appointment he was fine in the waiting room but once we went back he was in distress, crying, screaming and wouldn’t calm down. He wouldn’t even stand on the scale, we had to hold him. He kept saying “go back car seat” and “go to park” or “go potty”, “potty feeling”. I know he just didn’t feel comfortable. So when the doctor came in, he told her “bye bye” and started to cry. She tried to talk to him but he just kept crying and asking to leave. It was a rough appointment. She tried to get him to tell her his name but he was just crying, he did tell her who me and my wife were and he even said the doctors name. When she asked him to take the pen from her and draw a straight line, he didn’t want to get close to her to take the pen. He was also toe walking when she asked him to walk around, while he was still screaming.

After that 10 mins she told us that she would recommend getting him screened for autism, we asked why and she said because of him repeating himself and toe walking. She also referred us to a PT for the toe walking.

This was shocking, let me give you some background. My son is in music class and an early preschool class. He has no speech delay, high vocabulary and is using 3-4 word sentences. He has no issues with eye contact. He sees people in the store and says “hi friend, how you today?”, says “thank you, momma” and “I love animals”. In class he plays chase with other kids and rolls balls with them. He’s meeting every milestone and the doctor has never shared any concerns about his development. He does toe walk daily, but drops to flat feet when we remind him.

We’re going to get him evaluated because we understand that autism looks different child to child but this just isn’t sitting right with me. I really don’t see any symptoms. Also, the doctor didn’t tell us about trying a screening like M-Chat-r. A friend told me about it and my son was a 1 - low likelihood. I just don’t understand why she referred us so quickly, when he doesn’t have any social issues. It doesn’t sit right with me. She also didn’t take any time to explain anything about the referral or the process, just told us to call the number and gave us a paper. Am I over reacting?

My son is 5 with level 2 autism and adhd. He just finished Pre-K and is heading to kindergarten with an IEP and a wonderful support group! Two years of Pre-K with speech therapy and OT and some amazing teachers helped my son thrive and he loves school. His speech and regulation skills increased tremendously.

Since he was diagnosed last year, his psychiatrist believes it would be good to get him into ABA, to help improve his regulation skills (we still have many meltdowns, ect) to help prior to kindergarten. After months of fighting with my insurance, we finally found a place for him to start ABA therapy at home. He has been in it for a couple months and he absolutely HATES when the techs come over. He has 3 four hour sessions a week and the first hour is trying to get him to calm down and interact with them. He is always angry when they are here and doesn't really want to play with them. I think he gets frustrated with the repetitive questions and games. I've talked with them about it but they seem to think things will eventually get better with him and I trust experts but I feel like I'm seeing regression in him.

I guess I'm just looking to see if anyone has a similar experience and can share if ABA is worth it? Is it the right fit for most autistic individuals?

My child is at the higher end of the spectrum and requires substantial support. He will never live independently and that's something that keeps me up at night. I want to make sure he's taken care of and not neglected once I can't care for him anymore.

He has siblings but we're not expecting them to take on this responsibility unless they feel they can do it. Are there specific accounts we should set up? How do we plan for his care in adulthood? Also would having these savings disrupt SSI?

My older son was just diagnosed level 2. His younger brother is 10 months old and they are very different babies in a lot of ways but I’m starting to see some things in my younger son that we also saw in my older at this age. He’s 10 months and still not reaching to be picked up, not clapping, not waving, not pointing, he’s got a few stimmy movements (twirling hands and feet, tensing his legs a lot,
Rubbing his fingers together), rubs his face into us a lot etc. He’s very happy, and really good at answering to his name and making the contact (but to be honest so did my older son at this age). I don’t know. Did anyone think they saw traits in their younger children once their oldest was diagnosed?