u/Reasonable_Arm_5314

Pretty much everyone I know who has gone to job corps, or even considered it, are from low economic backgrounds. My family is upper middle class, and we live in the suburbs.

My parents make so much money in fact that I barely get anything in terms of aid from financial aid, so I’m forced to take out loans. I’m only considering jobcorp because in my area, the job opportunities are pretty lackluster and are being used up by everyone around me.

I’m just not sure if I should even use job corps, instead of letting the people around my age who are truly suffering use it. I’ve just been struggling to land any good jobs and I’m looking at trying everything until something sticks.

I don’t expect to receive any level of sympathy after I say this, but I’ve worked a LOT of jobs from my first one as a pizza chef at little ceasers (17) to now being technically unemployed while I wait for a seasonal job I work to open back up within August.

If I’m being honest, none of these jobs I had a valid reason of quitting besides maybe one?

My job history:

1. Little Ceasers (17) 8 months

2. Ross Department Store (18) 3 months

3. Advising Office Clerk (18) 3 months

4. Harris Teeter (19-20) 13 months

5. Newport News Shipyard (20-21) barely one month.

6. Christopher Newport University (21) Barely two months.

I do my best to make my resume look like the job hopping was for a purpose so employers don’t see it for what it is. Sometimes it works for actually landing interviews, other times they do not. Every job I quit for either not liking the role, or prioritizing other parts of my life other than having a job.

I try to look at this as a strength, that I have worked in so many roles that I now understand how most places intuitively work but i honestly feel like shit. I wish I can just go back in time and force myself to stick with whatever job I had until I either got fired, or was forced to move.

Ever since I quit my job at Harris teeter the job market has become damn near impossible to bounce back in.

I’m honestly lost on what I should do. Am I supposed to lie about my job experience and just pretend that I’ve never worked before? Do I be honest with the people interviewing me?

I feel that I have permanently fucked my life up, and I have no way to fix my mistakes. If anyone wants to see my resume just for curiosity sake, just dm me about it.

I’m honestly not sure what to do about my inability to deal with jealousy. Recently, a girl that rejected me got with a coworker of mine immediately afterwards. The job was a temp job so I don’t have to see them again until after the summer at least, but I couldn’t physically handle being around them for long.

Multiple times during my shift, I felt my heart race and tears about to come out of my eyes but I proceeded to force them back down. I made sure to clock out early just so I didn’t have to be around them being lovey dovey all the time.

This isn’t the first time that jealousy prevented me from accomplishing something. If a friend of mine gets any sorta win that I failed to get, I find that I distance myself from them to prevent myself from feeling like I’m in danger. I try to tell myself that I don’t really care about other people’s accomplishments, but for some reason I do.

Realistically speaking, I don’t even want a relationship but when I see people in them, I feel as if I’m wasting my time. Realistically speaking I don’t even care about people having a higher paying job than me, but I feel as if I’m wasting my time.

I like to think of myself as a man who only does things he cares about doing personally, and for the most part I am. But I feel guilty for some reason. I thought about having sex with a random women somewhere just to say to people that I lost my v card.

I’m just lost, I’m scared to talk to my dad about this because I feel that he wouldn’t understand.

For a while I was obsessed with people, specifically people I care about seeing me as a “good person.” I put so much mental bandwidth into thinking about it.

Depending on who you ask, I’m either a genuinely good person, or a horrible human being. Everytime I have tried to have a conversation with myself, about what I actually am I never get an answer.

I try my best to tell myself, that I tried my best. I try my best to tell myself that no matter what happens, I’ll get over it. But it always comes back no matter what. My therapist is lost on what to say about it. My friends don’t know what to say. Everyone keeps telling me to move on. That with enough time, the wound will either heal or scar.

I don’t have time. Everyday I think about how my crush started dating a coworker of mine, instead of me. I’m not sure why I should even try anymore. Why should I not treat this as anything more than just a temporary loss.

I’m a horrible, horrible excuse of a human being, wrapped in flesh.

I’m not sure what I can do.