u/RecoverLogical5903

Disclaimer: This is very much real unfortunately, but I used AI to help recap the whole situation and make this post. If she’s not gonna listen to us, maybe she will listen to a bunch of people on the internet. Please blow this up. Please talk some sense into her. Get her to understand the gravity of this situation. Thank you.

I am writing this because I am desperately trying to save someone I care about from an incredibly dangerous, life-altering mistake, and I need objective outside perspectives to show her how severe this situation is.

My friend (20s F) has been suffering from severe, crippling depression and a deep feeling of loneliness. The terrifying part is she hid it perfectly. To me and her other best friends, she was always joyous, happy, and smiling. Nobody had any idea she was drowning.

Because she felt isolated and desperately wanted to feel chosen, she met a guy in the military (Navy) and completely fast-forwarded her entire life on a split-second impulse.

The timeline of this relationship is absolutely terrifying. They met less than two months ago, and he proposed to her on their third time ever seeing each other in person. Think about that. They are literal strangers. You cannot possibly know a single thing about a person's character, history, or temper in three meetings. Desperate for stability and an escape from her depression, she agreed and legally married him anyway. They are currently in Florida, and the plan is for her to move across the world with him to Spain. She said that she has been exhausted and liked that he “chose her instantly”. She wants the “safety” and “stability”.

Here are the facts she has admitted to me:

1 The proposal timing is a massive red flag: Proposing to someone the third time you lay eyes on them is not a "fairytale" or "devotion." It is a calculated tactic used by unstable or controlling people to lock a person down legally before the mask slips and they show their true colors.

2 He is dangerous and armed: When he was helping her move out of her apartment recently, someone honked their horn at them. This guy’s immediate reaction was to pull a gun out of his car.

3. He completely ignores her boundaries: Yesterday, she built up the courage to tell him she wanted to go back home to Louisiana. His response? He went dead silent, completely iced her out, ignored her pain, and just kept physically moving her things into the apartment to trap her. He is pretending the conversation never happened, hoping she’ll just submit.

4. She is scared of his reaction: He keeps firearms in the house they are currently at. She explicitly told me she is actively afraid to tell him again that she wants to go home because she doesn't know how he will react, and thinks he might kill her. She says she doesn’t think he would, but also doesn’t know him well enough to know for sure.

I told her on the phone today that this is classic military isolation. He is on his best behavior right now to get her across the ocean. Once she is legally trapped in Spain, she will have no leverage, no friends, no family, and no support system, while he gets deployed and leaves her alone in a foreign country. He handles conflicts with silence and weapons. This is a domestic abuse tragedy waiting to happen.

I have offered to put my keys in the ignition right now, drive 9 hours to Jacksonville, pick her up in a public place, and bring her straight back to her apartment and her support system in Louisiana. Her other best friends are screaming at her to leave too.

She keeps saying, "Give me until the end of the week to make a decision," and says she is going to read our texts to decide. She is treating her own life like a movie she’s just watching happen instead of saving herself. She is afraid of hurting his feelings now. She doesn’t want to have an uncomfortable conversation. I am trying to explain to her that this is her life.

Reddit, please don't hold back. I need you to tell her the unvarnished truth so I can show her this post. What happens to women who move across the world with an armed stranger they are already afraid of? How do I force her to see the severity of this before she gets on that plane?

TLDR: My friend (20s F) married an active-duty Navy sailor on impulse after knowing him less than 2 months (he proposed on their 3rd time seeing each other). She did it during a severe depressive episode.
The Danger: They are in Florida, moving to Spain on military orders very soon. He keeps guns in the house, has pulled a firearm on someone in traffic, and she explicitly admitted she is terrified he will kill her if she tries to leave. When she asked to go home yesterday, he completely iced her out and kept moving her stuff into the apartment to trap her.
The Goal: We are ready to drive 9 hours to rescue her from Jacksonville today, but she is paralyzed by fear and asking for "until the end of the week." I am sending her the link to this post.
The Question: Please tell her the brutal truth. What happens to women who isolate themselves in a foreign country with an armed stranger they are already terrified of? How dangerous is this?

Disclaimer: This is very much real unfortunately, but I used AI to help recap the whole situation and make this post. If she’s not gonna listen to us, maybe she will listen to a bunch of people on the internet. Please blow this up. Please talk some sense into her. Get her to understand the gravity of this situation. Thank you.

I am writing this because I am desperately trying to save someone I care about from an incredibly dangerous, life-altering mistake, and I need objective outside perspectives to show her how severe this situation is.

My friend (20s F) has been suffering from severe, crippling depression and a deep feeling of loneliness. The terrifying part is she hid it perfectly. To me and her other best friends, she was always joyous, happy, and smiling. Nobody had any idea she was drowning.

Because she felt isolated and desperately wanted to feel chosen, she met a guy in the military (Navy) and completely fast-forwarded her entire life on a split-second impulse.

The timeline of this relationship is absolutely terrifying. They met less than two months ago, and he proposed to her on their third time ever seeing each other in person. Think about that. They are literal strangers. You cannot possibly know a single thing about a person's character, history, or temper in three meetings. Desperate for stability and an escape from her depression, she agreed and legally married him anyway. They are currently in Florida, and the plan is for her to move across the world with him to Spain. She said that she has been exhausted and liked that he “chose her instantly”. She wants the “safety” and “stability”.

Here are the facts she has admitted to me:

1 The proposal timing is a massive red flag: Proposing to someone the third time you lay eyes on them is not a "fairytale" or "devotion." It is a calculated tactic used by unstable or controlling people to lock a person down legally before the mask slips and they show their true colors.

2 He is dangerous and armed: When he was helping her move out of her apartment recently, someone honked their horn at them. This guy’s immediate reaction was to pull a gun out of his car.

3. He completely ignores her boundaries: Yesterday, she built up the courage to tell him she wanted to go back home to Louisiana. His response? He went dead silent, completely iced her out, ignored her pain, and just kept physically moving her things into the apartment to trap her. He is pretending the conversation never happened, hoping she’ll just submit.

4. She is scared of his reaction: He keeps firearms in the house they are currently at. She explicitly told me she is actively afraid to tell him again that she wants to go home because she doesn't know how he will react, and thinks he might kill her. She says she doesn’t think he would, but also doesn’t know him well enough to know for sure.

I told her on the phone today that this is classic military isolation. He is on his best behavior right now to get her across the ocean. Once she is legally trapped in Spain, she will have no leverage, no friends, no family, and no support system, while he gets deployed and leaves her alone in a foreign country. He handles conflicts with silence and weapons. This is a domestic abuse tragedy waiting to happen.

I have offered to put my keys in the ignition right now, drive 9 hours to Jacksonville, pick her up in a public place, and bring her straight back to her apartment and her support system in Louisiana. Her other best friends are screaming at her to leave too.

She keeps saying, "Give me until the end of the week to make a decision," and says she is going to read our texts to decide. She is treating her own life like a movie she’s just watching happen instead of saving herself. She is afraid of hurting his feelings now. She doesn’t want to have an uncomfortable conversation. I am trying to explain to her that this is her life.

Reddit, please don't hold back. I need you to tell her the unvarnished truth so I can show her this post. What happens to women who move across the world with an armed stranger they are already afraid of? How do I force her to see the severity of this before she gets on that plane?

Disclaimer: This is very much real unfortunately, but I used AI to help recap the whole situation and make this post. If she’s not gonna listen to us, maybe she will listen to a bunch of people on the internet. Please blow this up. Please talk some sense into her. Get her to understand the gravity of this situation. Thank you.

I am writing this because I am desperately trying to save someone I care about from an incredibly dangerous, life-altering mistake, and I need objective outside perspectives to show her how severe this situation is.

My friend (20s F) has been suffering from severe, crippling depression and a deep feeling of loneliness. The terrifying part is she hid it perfectly. To me and her other best friends, she was always joyous, happy, and smiling. Nobody had any idea she was drowning.

Because she felt isolated and desperately wanted to feel chosen, she met a guy in the military (Navy) and completely fast-forwarded her entire life on a split-second impulse.

The timeline of this relationship is absolutely terrifying. They met less than two months ago, and he proposed to her on their third time ever seeing each other in person. Think about that. They are literal strangers. You cannot possibly know a single thing about a person's character, history, or temper in three meetings. Desperate for stability and an escape from her depression, she agreed and legally married him anyway. They are currently in Florida, and the plan is for her to move across the world with him to Spain. She said that she has been exhausted and liked that he “chose her instantly”. She wants the “safety” and “stability”.

Here are the facts she has admitted to me:

1 The proposal timing is a massive red flag: Proposing to someone the third time you lay eyes on them is not a "fairytale" or "devotion." It is a calculated tactic used by unstable or controlling people to lock a person down legally before the mask slips and they show their true colors.

2 He is dangerous and armed: When he was helping her move out of her apartment recently, someone honked their horn at them. This guy’s immediate reaction was to pull a gun out of his car.

3. He completely ignores her boundaries: Yesterday, she built up the courage to tell him she wanted to go back home to Louisiana. His response? He went dead silent, completely iced her out, ignored her pain, and just kept physically moving her things into the apartment to trap her. He is pretending the conversation never happened, hoping she’ll just submit.

4. She is scared of his reaction: He keeps firearms in the house they are currently at. She explicitly told me she is actively afraid to tell him again that she wants to go home because she doesn't know how he will react, and thinks he might kill her. She says she doesn’t think he would, but also doesn’t know him well enough to know for sure.

I told her on the phone today that this is classic military isolation. He is on his best behavior right now to get her across the ocean. Once she is legally trapped in Spain, she will have no leverage, no friends, no family, and no support system, while he gets deployed and leaves her alone in a foreign country. He handles conflicts with silence and weapons. This is a domestic abuse tragedy waiting to happen.

I have offered to put my keys in the ignition right now, drive 9 hours to Jacksonville, pick her up in a public place, and bring her straight back to her apartment and her support system in Louisiana. Her other best friends are screaming at her to leave too.

She keeps saying, "Give me until the end of the week to make a decision," and says she is going to read our texts to decide. She is treating her own life like a movie she’s just watching happen instead of saving herself. She is afraid of hurting his feelings now. She doesn’t want to have an uncomfortable conversation. I am trying to explain to her that this is her life.

Reddit, please don't hold back. I need you to tell her the unvarnished truth so I can show her this post. What happens to women who move across the world with an armed stranger they are already afraid of? How do I force her to see the severity of this before she gets on that plane?