u/Redd1t0rNot

This situation has literally been killing me forever because I can’t tell anyone about this and idk what to do so I decided to post it here to hear what others think about it.

My best friend(straight female) and I(straight female) met around 2 years ago. At first we weren’t that close but after sharing our personal life with each other, we became each other’s bestfriend. We became so close that we would tell each other everything, always hug each other, hold hands, and even sleep on call every night.

I think it was obvious that there was already something happening between us. It got to the point where we would call each other “baby”(not in a joking way), cuddle with each other, have “I love you more” fights, and even make out with each other often. It got to a point where we would be naked with each other on bed but we never touched each other down there…

No one knows that we did all these stuff but our friends got suspicious about us being a thing because we were always so clingy to each other. We never talked about being “together” and it was really a blur line of where our relationship was. We would just keep testing each other on how far we would be willing to go and where our boundaries were. Plus we never had any romantic relationships before each other and we would always say we’re just each other’s “bestest friend.”

Even though we were doing all these, we still had a very deep personal and emotional connection with each other. We would always share things that we never told anyone else and we would always be there for each other whenever we needed a shoulder to cry on.

However, this all changed because we both finally acknowledged that what we were doing was wrong so we distanced ourselves from each other(or at least tried to). I was ofcourse hurt and cried a lot. We were still friends but sometimes we would still do some stuff because we couldn’t help it. We still talked a lot and it was like nothing happened.

That was a year ago. It was slowly shifting though and we were growing apart. We started to go with our different friends also stopped doing whatever we were doing. We didn’t really talk a lot anymore even though I tried to. Idk I felt like she was ignoring me because she would just look away when we passed by each other which was so weird because she would still talk to me casually whenever we hung out with our mutual friends. She would even like my tiktok reposts about her which were clearly for her. We stopped chatting eventually but idk I don’t rly understand if we’re really friends.

Recently, I chatted to her again(we had to do smth for our mutual friend) after how many months of not talking but she took a whole day to reply even though I know that she’s alwaysss on her phone and replies the fastest. We were talking casually but in the end she left me on read without finishing the conversation. I know she’s online too because she would always chat in the gc with our mutual friends. After that, we saw each other but like we were talking so idk why she ignored my text to her.

Some people(including me) have also noticed that she has been getting super close with this one girl for quite some time and they’re so touchy and clingy with each other like we were. Honestly, I still wish that I was still close to her because she really was my bestfriend at the end of the day. I still consider her as my friend because she really understood me and cared for me more than anyone. She was there for me when I needed her the most. I just want that friendship back with her and I regret ruining it by doing what we did.

Im sorry for making this so long and thank you so much if you read this far. Please share what you think what because I want your opinion and thoughts on this.