u/Relative_Fall_9829

About 2.5 months ago, my (f24) finance (m25) brought up getting a prenup out of nowhere in the middle of a conversation about our dream home and other happy, mushy marriage things. I personally never thought this was on the table for us, and he had never EVER mentioned anything about it thru our whole relationship, and he brought this up 4 months after we had already been engaged. I was extremely caught off guard by this, told him I don’t know how I feel about it because it made me feel like he was having doubts.

At first he was understanding and said we didn’t have to decide today, but now about every month we get into a blow up about it and he’s gone from understanding my POV and reassuring me it’s not doubt to saying “why do you think you’d deserve my money if we divorce” “you don’t know that you won’t change down the line” “we’re more likely to get divorced than to stay together” etc. I have reiterated every single time that I DO NOT CARE about his money, and the reason I’m struggling with this is because of HIS REACTION to my feelings. I was brought up in a household where prenups are frowned upon, and while I never saw myself getting one, I’m not saying I wouldn’t do it if it’s what he really wanted. But every time I bring up how his reaction is hurting me, how he’s not hearing what I’m actually saying, and how I need time to really think about this, he thinks it’s me thinking I’m entitled to his trust fund, or how I don’t want to be with him anymore.

He also refuses to tell me what lawyer friend of his he talked to said that a prenup that JUST has him protected in it would be fair and permissible for me to sign.

Anyway, since we’ve been having these intermittent blow ups, it’s been all ups and downs. Some days it feels like old times and I genuinely think everything will be ok. More days than I’d like to admit it seems like the only time he’s happy and wants to be around me is if we’re having sex. He’s been going out to the bar after work more and not telling me or not texting me that he got home alright, and most recently he told me he was going to help a friend move into his new house who lives multiple states away, but found out “on the car ride down” that “there was an issue with the paperwork so he wasn’t able to move that week” so instead he spent the last 3 days partying and drinking with his friend and all his friend’s friends from where he lives. Meanwhile, he barely texted me and ignored my calls while he was there and said he “passed out” or was “tired” and that’s why he didn’t respond.

In my head I’m thinking the worst, which is he knew all along he was just leaving to go drink and party

Another thing he’s begun recently is having an aversion to my family. We were out one night with my fam and my mom texted both of us asking where we parked. I didn’t have my phone with me so I asked him if he could text her back. He said no and I said “are you serious?” And he said “I’m not texting your mom.” Recently another time, I asked him if he could go get my brother who was just one room away and have him help me with something (I was in the middle of carrying something and couldn’t get him myself) and he scoffed and said “no I’m not bossing your brother around.” Mind you, had this been a year ago he never would have done this. He has changed so much.

What the hell do I do? My heart is so heavy and I am in absolute emotional agony. I just want the man I used to have back, and I’m scared I’ll never get him again, but am also scared that I’m being OVERLY sensitive and jumping ship too soon.

Is there anything I can say that I haven’t already to try to fix this? Because so far everything I’ve said either somehow gets turned around on me and I’m the bad guy for getting upset or he just doesn’t understand what I’m saying or says he’ll work on himself and than does for a week and that’s it. Or is it too late? Like I said, some days it feels like we can fix things and others I want to walk away right there.

TLDR Ever since prenup convo it seems like an emotional roller coaster and that we’re on the rocks and fiancé’s behavior has changed drastically in a negative way. What do I say to him

Hello, my family owns a very small feed/grain business. We have a large portion of customers who have tax-exempt farms that we service. We need to upgrade to a new register that will reflect our tax-exempt sales on the end of day Z report

Does anyone know of any registers (nothing too fancy) that have a dedicated “tax-exempt” button to make a WHOLE transaction tax exempt that will ALSO reflect on the Z-report? Our current register has this button but doesn’t show these non-taxable sales on our Z-report and it’s extremely time consuming to manually figure out everyday.

And every register we’ve looked into only has it where you would program certain departments to be tax-exempt, which would not work for us because one bag of grain at our store is not tax-exempt for every customer. If the only way around this without having to purchase a whole POS is to program specific departments, can anyone recommend registers that they like so I can copy our existing departments into tax exempt ones for those customers who it would be applicable to? We have about 35 existing departments.

TL:DR We need a register that we can still ring everyone up under the same departments, but at the end of the transaction make it either taxed or tax-exempt on an individual customer basis.

Thank you so much in advance 🙏🏻

Hello, my family and I own a small feed/grain business. We service a large amount of customers who have tax-exempt farms. We need to upgrade to a new register that will reflect our tax-exempt sales at the end of day report.

Does anyone know of any registers (nothing too fancy) that have a dedicated “tax-exempt” button to make a WHOLE transaction tax exempt that will ALSO reflect on the Z-report? Our current register has this button but doesn’t show these non-taxable sales on our Z-report and it’s extremely time consuming to manually figure out everyday.

And every register we’ve looked into only has it where you would program certain departments to be tax-exempt, which would not work for us because one bag of grain at our store is not tax-exempt for every customer, only those with a certificate. We need a register that we can still ring everyone up under the same departments, but at the end of the transaction make it either taxed or tax-exempt on an individual customer basis.

Thank you so much in advance 🙏🏻

My fiancé and I (in our early-mid 20s) are a couple months engaged and so far everything was good. Then a couple of weeks ago he brings up how he wants a prenup. This came out of the blue and it’s just not something I was expecting to be brought up, or at the very least, CONSIDERED. It was never touched upon by either of us before getting engaged, even when talking about our future home, kids, etc.

I admit I reacted a bit emotionally, but only because I took this as a sign that he was having second thoughts, AND it was really bad timing when he brought it up (which he eventually apologized for). So I start crying asking if he’s having doubts and he assured me that he’s not but that he just “wants us both to be protected” if we were to hypothetically divorce.

He has a pretty large inheritance of money, and I have an inheritance of property that we plan to put a house on, but hardly any money to my name. He makes more than me too, and I make very little. Additionally, i cannot sell the property i am to inherit soon in the event we split up. My parents worked extremely hard for it and I feel SICK even thinking about having to sell it and our future house that will be on top of it.

Recently, the conversation was rehashed and my fiancé swears up and down that he loves and trusts me but is adamant that if we were to divorce, I will become a totally different person and says I will try to steal his money which I don’t deserve to have if we split up.

Hearing this KILLED me and shattered my heart because I am the least money motivated person ever. I don’t come from it and I am very comfortable driving used cars, having hand me downs, living comfortably with what I have etc. I understand that the person you marry is not the person you divorce but still, I feel like he should know me better than that. When I found out about his inheritance I honestly couldn’t care less, and he even commented on how he can tell I’m not a gold digger given my reaction. Flash forward to now, he said my having an emotional reaction to this conversation is giving “gold digger energy.” He’s extremely hung up on the fact that I will become this evil money hungry witch if we choose to split up, which is really the crux of the issue I’m having.

I’ve come to 2 conclusions:
1. I feel that we’re not on the same financial playing field and I know nothing about how a prenup should be laid out fairly in our circumstance, and I’m extremely stressed about all this and don’t want to make any mistakes if I choose to sign one. I need time to do my due diligence on this before anything.

2.    My heartache and issue with all this really isn’t the actual signing of a prenup. It’s the fact that I’m feeling like he cares more about his inheritance than me and is choosing his money over our marriage. He never once brought this up while we were dating, and now a couple months being engaged it’s weighing on him and causing him to act differently. We haven’t even set a date yet and the fact that he’s this panicked about hypothetically losing “HIS” money worries me greatly, and I feel like he really only is interested in the prenup for his own protection and not mine. 

I’m at a total loss and hurting emotionally very badly. I truly am not interested in his money if we were to split up, it’s not something I ever even considered. To me marriage should be forever and I was willing to give US everything I possibly had—property, what money I have (I’ve been doing work on the side trying to earn more so I can contribute more) and most importantly TRUST.
I just can’t understand why now all the sudden he’s not all in anymore and I’m scared because I love him more than anything in this world and the thought of us breaking up is ruining my life atm, but I know I can’t go through with a marriage if I’m having second thoughts as well now.

I’d appreciate some advice on how I should go about this from a legal and also a moral standpoint, especially from someone who might’ve been in a similar boat as me

TL;DR Fiancé caught me off guard asking for a prenup after we’re already engaged, we have a money significant money disparity, and I’m feeling helpless in my decision making because I love him with all my heart and trust him with my life but I feel he doesn’t trust me and would rather lose me than his money