u/Relevant_Post_1519

Maybe I don’t understand darvo correctly, I feel like I’m losing my mind. He was totally fine for a few days and it made me cry bc I was so overwhelmed with it and wasn’t expecting him to be ok again after I went away for a couple months with our toddler. But some shit happened at work (it turns out when you’re weird and manic they get suspicious that something is going on) and now he wants support and is upset that he isn’t getting support from me. And was putting all this blame on me, which is absurd. I have other shit to deal with, including how he treated me the last year (while postpartum) and it honestly is a bit rich bc I had NO support from him for a year while he had his mental breakdown and so I sort of ended up turning it into that and how he never apologized or even was grateful for me doing 99% of the parenting for the past year. He should honestly be kissing the ground I fucking walk on and to complain to me about not having support after everything? I am still here. So maybe that triggered me, which made him say how I don’t let go of things and he doesn’t want to listen to the he said she said stuff (which I don’t think he remembers how poorly he treated me) but he says how he isn’t the only one at fault. Idk he twisted it into how he is the victim when honestly my son and I are the only victims in this and I just feel like my mind is a mess. I can’t really be the problem? I see little cracks forming again with his paranoia and I knew this good mood wouldn’t last. He changed his one medication fully over now.

This probably doesn’t make much sense, I just feel like he is making me crazy.

I will preface this with I’m in therapy and have anxiety medications and there’s a lot of other stuff going on in my life that is exacerbating this probably 🫠

My 1 year old son has allergies to peanut (severe) and egg (not severe), we have an allergist, epi pens, and are starting OIT for peanut soon. I went and visited family this weekend and I didn’t feel comfortable eating anything while I was with him bc I was so afraid. They said they put away all the peanut stuff but there were cookies with egg they kept offering me. I was NOT upset with them that they were doing it bc I understand it’s a hard thing and they were truly trying, but it just made me so sad and worried. Bc there are so many things people forget about, that I forget about still bc we are all still learning these last eight months. I was invited to dinner with another friend and I feel just ill thinking about how I can eat there without worrying about cross contamination. How did you get over this? I prefer to eat at home, after he sleeps if there is any egg at all in it/the environment, and I also like because at home I can keep it in one area and clean after. I’ve been so anxious I’ve just been eating a lot of vegan, peanut free facility snacks for dinner.. Peanut I have removed completely from my home to the best of my ability.

I weaned a couple of weeks ago so I guess I could eat peanut again (his allergist said I could still eat it while breastfeeding but I didn’t trust it after he reacted to peanut the very first time). But I’m fine with not eating it honestly. But I know it exists in my friends’ and family’s homes. And weaning probably isn’t helping my anxiety with the hormone crash, but I just feel so overwhelmed and worried and need tips. Sorry this was so long.

I just saw that little spoon added a whole peanut line.. starting to panic about cross contamination. My son loves their puffs, smoothies/frogos, and biteables 😭 I loved that they were peanut free..

My son’s first birthday cake confirmed that the egg was not a contact reaction like all the doctors thought. (He started getting a race rash after trying egg after FOURTEEN times). Any commiseration/hopeful/birthday stories to get me through my pity party (pun intended)? I worry I ruined his birthday (I made the cake after asking his allergist multiple times if it was ok). He has a severe peanut allergy as well (a small consolation was that it was nowhere near that level of a reaction)

😭

Thanks in advance

He is not currently a threat to himself or others but this is unsustainable. After 6 months of this episode, I’m at the point of 98% ready to leave. He needs to go impatient to change his meds. He was trying to do it outpatient. I don’t think he will last more than a few months at this rate. He isn’t sleeping normally hours. He is on the verge of losing everything. It is awful but he is so afraid of losing his job (was unemployed for a years and I was SO resentful) and it has reached the point where I truly don’t care anymore about the job. He can find a new career if needed. I just don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to lose my dog (he will take her). I don’t want my son to lose his father. I’m desperate for any tips bc this appears to be the last choice. I already reached out to his parents and no one cares. There might be one friend left to try. I can always wait until he becomes a threat to himself or to others but I don’t want to be around or have our son be around when that happens. If he goes on his own accord, a lot of more hurt could be avoided.
Thank you in advance.

He ruined my life.

He switched his meds two weeks ago so I know things are fresh but I don’t see how this ends up ok.

He told me that our relationship has been shit for the last 8 years.

We have been married for 5 and have a 9 month old. I asked him why he did those things then and he said it was only for me.

He won’t even say he loves me anymore. He says I blame him for everything too much (he has been verbally abusive in a past episode and it has been coming up again during the recent episode with psychosis). He apparently is upset that I am not fucking him during all this.

I don’t understand. He was doing so much better. We had a kid because things had been stable again for years. And now I’m being told this. My whole world is crashing down around me.

I already have no help with the baby but I had hope it could get better. I feel awful that he has him for a father.

He will not fight me on custody which is the saddest part of all.

It might be terrible but part of me wants to go nuclear and tell his new job the hallucinations he’s been having so that they fire him and he goes and leaves us all alone forever.

I have no one, except a child I’m trying to raise (who has at least one food allergy so it’s been extra stressful).

I already blocked all his family rather than text them hurtful shit. They don’t even have an updated picture of our son since I stopped sending things months ago.

No one in my family is divorced so on top of all these other feelings, I feel embarrassed as hell. I feel like a fool. I don’t even know where to go from here. I don’t want to lose him but it feels like he’s already gone.

Sorry for the long trauma dump.