u/Remarkable-Main-9601

Kikou if you peep this Reddit please bless Dallas it’s my dream to see you perform

If god is real please please please please kill me so I don’t have to do it myself

I can’t die but I want to. Can I be close with death without dying.

My life has always been a mess or not my life but me I’ve always put myself into situations nobody should go through as a kid but I fight between blaming myself or not blaming myself since I was so young. I have an amazing support system but I have no attachment to life it’s self. The world around me is so sick and it plagues my body each day I’m exhausted that I’m here and I wish so hard I can’t be but I have people who care for me and people who don’t deserve to lose their child. My mom is so perfect so sweet she loves me so much and she blames herself for all the wrong in my life when it wasn’t her fault. She’s the only thing keeping me here but I don’t want to be here I just wish I could kill myself without effecting others. I’m ready to let go but not fully

I grew up a Christian but I’m no longer Christian I still have the lingering fear I’ll go to hell I don’t want to go to hell i don’t want to suffer endlessly It’s scary

I need to cut my brain open and study each piece and take out the decay like a dentist then fill it again then I can rearrange it however I like