My girlfriend cheated on me and i dont know what to do
For some context i M(20) and my girlfriend F(20) have been together for about 10 months, we met at university and had a slow talking stage until i finally got the courage to ask her out.
Anyway to the thing I need help with, at a party my best friend threw for his birthday he invited one of his other best friends from this home town, now this guy is lovely but has a history of being a huge home wrecker and cheating on previous girlfriends. The entire night I noticed him giving her looks and told her I trusted her but to be “careful” with him as I know his past.
Earlier today she called me over to hers as she said she needed to talk, when I got there she cut straight to the point.
a few days after the party he messaged her just in a friendly way and they were apparently talking just for a few days in a friendly sense. But it evolved into more of like a flirty thing, she said she didn’t say anything too bad and it was pretty tame but she defo didnt shut it down (however I dont know how much I rly believe that as, as you can imagine my trust has been shattered).
An example of what was said was him saying he was jealous of when we kissed and she replied with an “oh yeah?”, but it got to the point after like a day or two where he asked her to go down to where he lives and that no one had to know, she ended up saying no, which is good, and that Shes with me and loves me.
So apparently this made her realise what she was doing and how wrong it was and from there, in her words it just “fizzled out”, but a couple nights ago we had a convo after we saw a TikTok of what the least we would break up with each other wojld be, i said cheating and she asked what I classed as cheating and i said flirty convos with other ppl and this again made her realise she should have told me so then today obviously she called me over to tell me and yeh Thats abt it.
Now many thing are bugging me from this some of which being;
- If we didn’t have the conversation the other night would she have told me
- What does she mean by “fizzled out” is that because she shut it down or he lost intreat as he knew nothing more would happen
- I can’t read any of the messages she sent as he has been blocked and the chat feed deleted, so how am I supposed to trust what she said happened, should I ask him?
- would she have kept on going if he wouldn’t have asked and she didn’t say no?
Now I need help, i dont know if I’m overthinking things a lot or the queries I have a valid, Im just very confused and lost.
I also don’t know if I’m over reacting by calling this cheating and would love your opinions.
Ive told her I can probably get over this but I’m not too sure if I can, I love her to bits and I don’t want to end things between us, but really I just want you smart Reddit people to give your opinions on the situation and any potential advice and possible suggestions on what questions I can ask her when I see her next.
I’ve asked for a few days of space which I feel is good, but if i want to mend things is this really the best way to go?
One final disclaimer: in no way I am saying she is a bad person or anything, i don’t dislike her but I just dislike her actions, so please don’t be mean about her.
Thank you, any further questions about the situation I would be happy to answer :)