u/Remarkable_Fruit_727

(Repost Context: I wanted to add some context because I posted this in another subreddit and, while I really appreciated the advice about difficulty orgasming, most of the responses didn’t actually address my specific question about anal stimulation.
I feel like I didn’t get an answer to my question. I already know that anal stimulation isn’t required to orgasm… that’s not what I’m asking. My question is specifically about the claim that it supposedly produces the “best,” “most intense,” or “mind-blowing” orgasms.
A lot of people online (and in articles) describe it that way, and only maybe four commenters actually addressed whether that’s actually the case or just something that gets amplified online. I’m reposting because I’m honestly even more confused and anxious than I was before, and I’d really appreciate direct answers. I know you can orgasm without it. I know it isn’t necessary. I KNOW. 😭 I’m asking whether it’s actually the* *best kind of sex/orgasm. The way people describe it as the most intense, longest-lasting, most pleasurable, “peak” experience, etc. makes me worried that it’s only like that if you include anal because damn near everyone online makes it sound like you’re missing out on some superior level of pleasure if you don’t incorporate some form of ass play. So that’s what I’m trying to figure out. I’m specifically looking for perspective on whether I’m genuinely missing out on the best possible orgasms by keeping this as a hard boundary.) and I hope this is the correct flair!

I hope this is okay to ask here, and please be kind. I’m 20F, not very sexually experienced, and my boyfriend is my first partner. I don’t really have any friends or anyone I can talk to or ask about this in real life.

I have a really hard time having orgasms, it's honestly pretty disappointing. It's never intense or strong… it just leaves me with a “that’s it?” feeling. Because it’s so underwhelming compared to how movies, books, and everyone else talks about it, I end up experiencing a massive drop in my emotions and feel incredibly sad afterward. And I can feel some pleasure, but it’s never strong or "earth-shattering." Side note: I suffer from severe depression, so I’m sure my mental health plays a huge part in this.

And because of my struggles, my boyfriend recently suggested anal stimulation (like using a finger during vaginal sex). He isn't pressuring me at all, but he keeps hyping it up. He says that women feel way more pleasure from it, that vaginal + anal combined is the "ultimate experience," and that there is basically nothing better.

The problem is, anal is a hard limit for me. It is completely off the table. I genuinely do not want to try it, and I’m not even interested in it (no judgment at all toward anyone who enjoys it). I don’t even like the idea of external touching there, however I’m not completely closed-off to external touching. But because I already struggle so much with sex, I’ve gotten completely stuck in my own head. I see people online raving about it too, and now I’m terrified that if I don’t try it, I’ll never experience truly amazing sex or strong orgasms. I don't want to force myself into trying something just because I'm afraid of missing out, but hearing people talk about it like it's the "key" to the most intense pleasure has honestly made me so anxious. I even went on Reddit before and looked up advice for good sex and read threads answering questions like “what is your most intense orgasm?” and a massive number of the top answers mentioned some form of ass play, which skyrocketed my anxiety.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to ask here. I guess for women who have experience with both: can you still have incredible sex and orgasms without any anal stimulation? And is it really the “end-all, be-all” that some people make it out to be?

*I know sex is subjective and different for everyone, but the online discourse makes me worry that I’m missing the “best” kind of pleasure, even though I have zero desire to do it. I just want some reassurance that I can find amazing, intense, peak pleasure one day without needing something up my ass. Thank you so much. :)

PS: Please don't tell me to 'just give it a try' or suggest starting with toys. To be completely honest, when my boyfriend showed me pictures of butt plugs, I actually started crying. The entire concept is just so scary, unappealing, and deeply off-putting to me. I need advice that respects this boundary.

I hope this is okay to ask here, and please be kind. I’m 20F, not very sexually experienced, and my boyfriend is my first partner. I don’t really have any friends or anyone I can talk to or ask about this in real life.

I have a really hard time having orgasms, it's honestly pretty disappointing. It's never intense or strong… it just leaves me with a “that’s it?” feeling. Because it’s so underwhelming compared to how movies, books, and everyone else talks about it, I end up experiencing a massive drop in my emotions and feel incredibly sad afterward. And I can feel some pleasure, but it’s never strong or "earth-shattering." Side note: I suffer from severe depression, so I’m sure my mental health plays a huge part in this.

And because of my struggles, my boyfriend recently suggested anal stimulation (like using a finger during vaginal sex). He isn't pressuring me at all, but he keeps hyping it up. He says that women feel way more pleasure from it, that vaginal + anal combined is the "ultimate experience," and that there is basically nothing better.

The problem is, anal is a hard limit for me. It is completely off the table. I genuinely do not want to try it, and I’m not even interested in it (no judgment at all toward anyone who enjoys it). I don’t even like the idea of external touching there, however I’m not completely closed-off to external touching. But because I already struggle so much with sex, I’ve gotten completely stuck in my own head. I see people online raving about it too, and now I’m terrified that if I don’t try it, I’ll never experience truly amazing sex or strong orgasms. I don't want to force myself into trying something just because I'm afraid of missing out, but hearing people talk about it like it's the "key" to the most intense pleasure has honestly made me so anxious. I even went on Reddit before and looked up advice for good sex and read threads answering questions like “what is your most intense orgasm?” and a massive number of the top answers mentioned some form of ass play, which skyrocketed my anxiety.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to ask here. I guess for women who have experience with both: can you still have incredible sex and orgasms without any anal stimulation? And is it really the “end-all, be-all” that some people make it out to be?

*I know sex is subjective and different for everyone, but the online discourse makes me worry that I’m missing the “best” kind of pleasure, even though I have zero desire to do it. I just want some reassurance that I can find amazing, intense, peak pleasure one day without needing something up my ass. Thank you so much. :)

PS: Please don't tell me to 'just give it a try' or suggest starting with toys. To be completely honest, when my boyfriend showed me pictures of butt plugs, I actually started crying. The entire concept is just so scary, unappealing, and deeply off-putting to me. I need advice that respects this boundary.