Difficulties from other side in beginning wedding planning
Grateful for anyone’s view on this or any similar experiences. I have been engaged for a month.
As context, our families operate differently. Mine like to do things quickly and plan ahead, his are very laissez faire and ‘lets see’ type of people. Examples are taking months to reply and finalise a date for our parents to initially meet. We spoke about getting engaged last year but for unknown reasons, it ended up being last month. My bf (33) always said he agreed and wanted us to move on and get engaged too but when it came down to it, he said he wasn’t ready. I’m 32, and keen/ready for us to be able to move on. We are looking at next spring for a wedding.
My dad has had a conversation with his dad to ask about wedding views. Me and my parents have done a rough guest list for our side. My dad has also offered to pay for it as a way to ensure we can just sort it out fairly quickly but they didn’t agree to this which is fine. By contrast, all I have got so far is the following:
- no guest list. I’ve chased this and just been told it will follow but they haven’t had a chance to discuss it yet. I just want a rough estimate as we cant see venues otherwise.
- auspicious dates must be considered. This is ok, we checked and found the dates. I was then told that they want to do their own check as there are other religious things that may factor in which I’m unaware of. These apparently block mid may to mid June, which is when I was looking for us.
- my bf has stated he needs to discuss with his older sister when she may want to get married as that will have an effect on dates. She is not engaged yet.
I am more than happy for her to also get married next year, but I cannot understand why we would plan the date around her possible wedding date. This is something I’ve communicated but I don’t know what the resolution is as he maintains it’s something he needs to discuss.
All in all, it’s left me feeling very dejected and as though there are just constant reasons as to why they don’t want to move things forward. My bf says that is not the case and he does want things but I’m starting to doubt it. Equally it hasn’t been very much time so I don’t know if I’m insane to expect or want someone to also be excited to look at venues and lock stuff in. I think the lack of encouragement from his family probably also has an effect on him. We are from different communities but apart from that I cannot see any reason why they wouldn’t want it to happen.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this? What was the reasoning? Am I expecting too much here?