After finding a huge vein of diamonds, I'd planed to price them taking into account that they're actually not that rare and the actual cost of processing them.

I really should have known that the ones who keep the prices high would make a problem of it, this is the fourth time I've found my brake lines cut.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 3 days ago

We grew very concerned when we realized our daughter hasn't aged or changed at all in the last year in a half, so we scheduled some tests.

The doctors are baffled she shows no brain activity nor heartbeat, so how is she still moving and complaining about the process?

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 4 days ago

[OCT26] I had needed some fertilizer for my apple orchard, it really was convenient that merchant showed up.

There must have been something different about this one, none of the others I've sacrificed caused my apples to bleed.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 11 days ago

Don't worry, we calculatied everything down to a millimeter and measured five times after building it.

You can rest assured he will feel every moment of his hanging as the drop is far too short for him to lose consciousness.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 17 days ago

When they declared him a god among men they immortalized his form in concrete.

Recent scans of the ancient statue have detected a heart beat, and faint mutters in archaic Latin that all translate to pleas for death.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 24 days ago

Under the ice we found the most perfectly preserved example of a prehistoric woman ever found.

When one of the research personnel got a nosebleed and a drop fell upon her lips, her eyes fluttered open as she gasped.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 1 month ago

In a rush to get my poor baby to the hospital I speed down the road ignoring the flashing lights behind me, I'll explain to the cops when I get there.

After hitting the spike strips they put down and being held up by the screaming officers, we don't make it on time.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 1 month ago

The orders were given to evict the strange old hermit and his dogs from the forest, and during the process the poor animals get shot.

The elderly man screamed something incomprehensible, and suddenly unseen mouths began tearing into the officers

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 2 months ago

After the long move across the country and unpacking, I locked up and went to sleep.

I awoke the next morning to every door and window opened, as well as a note stuck to my foot reading "we have an open door policy in this community."

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 2 months ago

When I was seven my great grandma told me the ugly little statue behind her house was a fairy waiting for the right payment for some favor.

Now a grandpa myself I show my excited grandkids around the crumbling property, when that hideous thing convulses to life and grins toothily at the twins.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 2 months ago

It would seem that even melted down and mixed with other gold, the treasure's curse is still potent.

As I feel my life fading I give my final order, sell the gold to be used in electronics so its spread far and wide.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 2 months ago

After a lifetime of pressure from all sides, I was removed from the crushing environment I've known from the beginning.

Without the forces to hold it togather, my body disintegrates as my every organ bursts.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 2 months ago

When we drove away from grandma's house for the final time, we all swore we saw her in the window though she'd already been cremated.

When the new owner was found tied into bloody knots a month later, I knew we'd seen right.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 2 months ago

When we failed to duplicate subject 37's abilities it laughed saying, "there can only ever be one of me never more."

We terminated the specimen to prevent its use against us, but my body seized as I heard in my mind 'nor can there ever be less than one."

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 2 months ago

I was surprised when the uncle I hadn't seen since I was twelve, left me something in his will with the explanation "I feel we're the same".

As I open suitcase after suitcase in the storage unit to find each stuffed with bones and hair, I must say I think he was right.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 2 months ago

I've had recurring nightmares about being chained up in a dark cramped hole in the ground all my life.

Deep into the woods behind my childhood home I flipped wooden board to find a narrow pit and a set of heavily rusted chains.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 2 months ago

Since most of matter is empty space it is technically possible, though ridiculously improbable to literally fall through an object.

It turns out this can happen partway as I am now one with my office chair, and more than pain it feels wrong.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 2 months ago

I figured that the "parasite expelling gel" was just another stupid fad that would do nothing but have me glued to the toilet for half a day.

Well I've been stuck in the bathroom all right...with dozens of terrible many-legged things crawling out me from just about every opening I have and a few bursting out of my skin.

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u/RepeatOrdinary182 — 2 months ago