Written as a response to this prompt, with inspiration drawn from this prompt.
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No one was quite sure what to make of Jeff Metner. Brown eyes, brown hair, average build, quiet voice. To most, he was little more than a background character in real life, the kind of person you would smile and nod at as you passed on the street, but wouldn’t give a second thought to. He worked as a handyman in Celadon City, though sometimes did courier work as well, so long as it was an in-town delivery.
The general consensus of those who knew him was that he was good people, if a little peculiar. He did good work, was efficient, and charged reasonable rates, certainly. However, he did have some quirks as well. Sometimes he would stop whatever he was doing and stare off at nothing-in-particular for a few minutes before resuming work. He wore a belt with six pokéballs on it, but never released any of his pokémon. He would claim that the balls didn’t work, or that his pokémon didn’t like leaving their balls,or that they didn’t like to be disturbed. (Even more curious was how he would look down and have a surprised reaction whenever someone brought it up, as though he had forgotten the belt was there at all.)
The tattoos on his arms were even more baffling to those who have seen them. He claims that they are there to remind him of things he might otherwise forget. Messages like “REMEMBER TO EAT” and “REMEMBER TO SLEEP” were reasonable enough, though some of the others, like “THERE ARE NO MISSING NUMBERS” or “THE UNIVERSE DOES NOT HAVE GLITCHES” were less so.
He has mentioned being a trainer some years ago, attempting the Gym Challenge, only to bow out towards the end due to ‘complications’. He went on to pursue more ‘steady and safe work’ and reports being ‘content’ with his current lifestyle. (Also, if you ask discretely, he does sell Rare Candies and Max Revives for less than what Poké Marts charge. Limit one per customer.)
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Pokémon League Trainer Profile =For Internal Use Only=
Name:Metner, Jeff
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Jeff Metner is no longer an active trainer. However, following Incident #414-785, he has been listed as “Extremely Dangerous, Do Not Engage”. Surveillance of his whereabouts and actions are to be maintained at all times. Whenever possible, trainers are to be discouraged from challenging him without his knowledge of this discouragement.
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Incident #481-099
This document is restricted to personnel with Level 3 Clearance or Higher. Please enter credentials
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Credentials accepted. Access granted.
Welcome.
Please be aware that details are scarce. This report outlines what we are certain of.
On XX/XX/20XX, Metner was seen in Viridian City. While there, he talked with several locals, mentioning that he would be traveling to Cinnabar Island later on. He was last seen using a Pigeot to Fly to Cinnabar Island.
Footage from various security cameras confirms his arrival on the island. Footage shows him Surfing in nearby waters, likely in an effort to catch a water-type pokémon, or to get in some additional training before challenging Blaine. Footage shows Metner Surfing along the eastern shore of the island, until a video error lasting 1.5 seconds occurs, after which Metner is no longer visible.
Three days later, on XX/XX/20XX, Metner was found washed up on the shore by a patrolling Officer Jenny. He showed signs of moderate malnutrition and dehydration, and was taken to the Pokémon Center for recovery. During treatment, Metner slipped in and out of consciousness; when conscious, Metner frequently screamed about “glitches in reality” and had to be sedated. When he was deemed stable enough, an Officer Jenny spoke with him regarding what had happened.
The following is an excerpt from that interview, focusing on what has been deemed the most relevant portion. For access to the full transcript, please submit a written request to Dr. Abbott.
BEGIN TRANSCRIPT
OFFICER JENNY: You were gone for three days.
METNER: Was I? It felt longer.
OFFICER JENNY: Can you tell me where you were?
METNER: I journeyed out into the Void.
OFFICER JENNY: Excuse me?
METNER: Okay, that’s not fully true. I entered by accident, got lost wandering around, and barely made it out alive.
OFFICER JENNY: I see. And can you describe this “Void” to me?
METNER: It’s wrong. It’s all wrong. Everything we thought we knew about the world, about the Universe, about reality - it’s all wrong.
OFFICER JENNY: Could you elaborate-
METNER: There are glitches in the source code of the Universe. And I caught them! I filled PC Storage Boxes with them. I…I brought them back. Oh, Arceus, what have I done? *begins crying*
END OF TRANSCRIPT
The validity of these claims has not been verified. However, following Incident #481-165, all boxes within the Pokémon Storage System that had been identified as containing “glitches” have been pulled from the Storage System, confiscated, and are now being held in a maximum security safe in the Hypersecure Storage Facility at the Indigo Plateau.
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Incident #481-165
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Welcome.
Metner was brought to the Indigo Plateau at the behest of Elite Four member Lorelei, who had heard of the “glitches” and was curious as to their exact nature. Metner was brought to a secure testing site and instructed to release one of his “glitch pokémon”. Upon release, all recording equipment in the testing area simultaneously malfunctioned, and failed to capture any usable footage or data.
All eye-witnesses, when questioned later, stated that the pokémon Metner sent out (referred to as “MISSINGNO.”) appeared as ‘a giant block of living static’ and that ‘it looked wrong, like it wasn’t supposed to be in our universe’. Eyewitnesses further complained of experiencing dizziness, light-headedness, nausea, muscle weakness, itchy/watery eyes, and dry throats. For the next week following exposure, eyewitnesses reported frequent headaches and tinnitus. Approximately ten seconds after releasing “MISSINGNO.”, Metner returned it to its pokéball (estimated by the time-stamps on the recording instruments that were still functioning after exposure), though eyewitnesses reported that it felt much longer.
Metner was apologetic, though commented that those present had ‘gotten off easy’. He continued, stating that ‘“MISSINGNO.” was one of the more docile “glitches” [he] had caught’ and that ‘some of the others, like “‘M”, “h POké”, “G’Mp”, and “94 h” [were] much less pleasant to be around’. Further testing was suspended until further notice.
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Incident #481-233
On XX/XX/20XX, a lab technician, later discovered to have been under the employ of Team Rocket, attempted an unauthorized experiment involving the exposure of a “glitch pokémon” to a high-stress environment [DATA EXPUNGED]
[DATA EXPUNGED]
[DATA CORRUPTED]
[ⱧɆ ₴ⱧØɄⱠĐ₦’₮ Ⱨ₳VɆ ĐØ₦Ɇ ₮Ⱨ₳₮.]
[DATA CORRUPTED]
[DATA EXPUNGED], and his remains were cremated. All further testing is prohibited indefinitely.
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Look, I shouldn’t have to say this, but these things are dangerous. And not just in the “if you’re not careful, you’ll get hurt” sense, but in a “if a couple of these got loose, they would cause multiple kinds of K-Class scenarios simultaneously” way. If [Metner] makes a move, it’s game over for EVERYONE!
-Elite Four member Lance